ew Page 3030 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Newspaper Reporter Fired For Leaving In Bit About "Coach's Bullshit And Laziness"
Wasn't that a fun time, when a reporter at a little Louisiana newspaper accidentally left in some dummy text that made it to print. Oh, we all had a guffaw or two, yes we did. But then we moved on....

Big 12, SEC Join Forces For Transparently Money-Grubbing New Year's Day Bowl
It's been a busy offseason for the Big 12 and the SEC. Both added two new teams to their conferences—the Big 12 replaced Texas A&M and Missouri, who defected to the SEC, with TCU and West Virginia—and their commissioners, Chuck Neinas and Mike Slive, shilled for the new four-team playoff that will f...

Idea For Disney Film About Pittsburgh Pirates: <em>Feces In The Outfield</em>
A sewer line underneath PNC Park clogged, presumably with semi-digested Primanti Bros. sandwiches and broken dreams. Workers had to dig a hole in the outfield to get at the pipes, and will presumably have it repaired before the Bucs return from a road trip and Andrew McCutchen plunges into a chest-d...

PR Guy Who Offered Exclusive Pics Of Some Player And His Super Bowl Ring Wants Us To "Get A Grip And Obviously A Life!!!"
Public relations wiz Jonathan Jaxson has responded to the treatment we gave his email pitch yesterday. First, he called us "Assholes!" in a tweet he has since taken down. Later, he sent me this email, presented here in its entirety:...

Ohio State Self-Reports 46 Violations, But Really, Who Gives A Shit?
The Cleveland Plain Dealer obtained a list of 46 secondary violations committed by Ohio State over the past 12 months, which they self-reported to the NCAA. They've posted all the documents, but here is a choice sampling:...

Better Know An Umpire: Dana DeMuth
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

The Dadspin Guide To Feeding A Baby
I have a newborn son. He needs to be fed eight times a day. Each session of feeding him takes roughly 30 minutes, 20 if I'm lucky. I am usually not lucky. That's four hours of the day dedicated to sitting in a chair with a bottle, begging the baby to drink faster. A newborn's life is dedicated to sl...

It's All Going According To (Pat Riley's) Plan
1. "Jay, it's Pat. Pat Riley? Yes, I remember when I cursed you out and told you to never, ever call me 'Pat,' and then hit you pretty good with my briefcase. How many stitches did you need? That's a lot of stitches. But we're friends, right? You can call me Pat anytime. How's Michelle?...

MLB Suspends Umpire Bob Davidson For "Repeated Violations Of Situation Handling Standards"
In what's almost certainly a response to his repeated instances of "Fuck You, Charlie" during an incident at Tuesday's Astros-Phillies game, Major League Baseball has suspended umpire Bob Davidson for one game. The press release reads:...

What Boxing Writing Can Teach Us About Everything: A.J. Liebling On Moore-Marciano
Between the Victorian era and the Sixties, boxing was a regular and prominent feature of American life. Knowing something about the fights—being good with your hands, or maintaining an opinion about the welterweight division or fixed bouts or how to beat a southpaw—was a very common piece of equipme...

Headline On Radio Station Website Unintentionally Links Robert Griffin III, Masturbation, Jay Leno
You can see how this might happen, given everything. Robert Griffin III was on The Tonight Show late last night, and he beatboxed for Jay Leno, because there's nothing RGIII can't do, you see. Washington D.C.'s all-news station had the footage, and they wanted to post it on their website this mornin...

Women's Professional Soccer Is Officially Dead
The WPS announced today that the league has officially folded, and there will be no effort to rebuild after an already-cancelled 2012 season. I can give you two reasons for this rough news, and one is Dan Borislow, possibly the worst man in sports....

Better Know An Umpire: Gary Darling
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

Kerry Wood Is Retiring
According to a report from ESPN Chicago's Bruce Levine, Kerry Wood will retire today. Wood's struggled this year. He's given up eight hits and walked 11, while striking out only five, in nine innings. Until his hiccups this year, and, evidently, his retirement, Wood appeared set for a semi-successfu...

Laz Diaz Blows An Obvious Call, Ejects Bob Melvin In More Time Than It Would Have Taken To Look At A Replay
Laz Diaz has one of the largest strike zones in baseball. So presumably A's starter Brandon McCarthy thought he was getting a pitcher's umpire. That kinda didn't work out on Elvis Andrus's bunt in the sixth inning, a rare true suicide squeeze....

Kegasus, The Beer-Loving Mascot Of The Beer-Loving Preakness, Is Actually A Sober Phony
What's the saying? If you'll keg stand for something, you'll fall for anything? Promoters of the Preakness Stakes must believe it. Turns out that Kegasus, spokesbeast for the Preakness and the best mascot in all of sports, is a sham....

Geddy Lee Checked Out A Blue Jays Game From The Limelight Of Seats Behind Home Plate
Canadian rocker Geddy Lee sat in some primo seats for a recent Blue Jays game, and the living testament to the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame's illegitimacy appeared to enjoy himself—if spending a bit too much of the game checking out his text messages....

Here's Every Single Pitch Of Jose Canseco's Worcester Tornadoes Debut (Spoiler: It Didn't Go Well)
Intrepid tipster Kevin M. dutifully recorded every single pitch of Jose Canseco's long-awaited, much-anticipated, expectations-shattering debut tonight with the independent Worcester Tornadoes, who traveled south to face the Newark Bears. Alas, America's favorite semi-retired, ball-playing hug mac...

Man Busted By Reporter For Parking Illegally: "Fuck You. I Hope You Get AIDS."
It's local news sweeps time again, which means reporters are on the prowl with their I-Teams to trump up whatever tired outrage hasn't been covered recently. Fecal matter in iced tea? Eyewitness News is on your side! Cops eating doughnuts and drinking coffee on the job? The I-Team is there!...

Here's Another "Call Me Maybe" Parody, But This One's About Tom Brady
It would appear the "Call Me Maybe" parody video phenomenon has finally run its course. Thank you, Zack Murray. You've done your nation a great service. (Frankly, we're surprised those Harvard guys didn't think of this first.)...