f Page 1883 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Ideal Beer For Wealthy Working Stiffs
Most of my workdays are spent alone at home, poring over a hot computer as I wait for the muse to alight and the hangover to depart. From time to time, however, I am called upon to venture out into the general population to address the inmates of a local prison or communications class on the topic o...
Bo Ryan Is The Poor Sport He's Supposed To Be
So Wisconsin coach Bo Ryan said some sorta poor-sport-y stuff after his Badgers lost the NCAA championship game to Duke last night. In the video below, he can’t get through the pro forma talk of how much his graduating players meant to him without tossing in a passive-aggressive aside about how “we...
Did Ex-NFLer Will Allen's Alleged Ponzi Scheme Prey On Jack Johnson?
The Securities and Exchange Commission has filed a complaint against Will Allen, a cornerback who played for the Giants, Dolphins, and Patriots—not to be confused with former Steelers safety Will Allen—accusing the NFLer of running a Ponzi scheme with a Florida woman. ...
Argentine Soccer Player Punched In Face By Fan While Signing Autographs
In case you needed more evidence that soccer fans in Argentina are the worst, we now have the case of Matías Fritzler. After a recent loss, Fritzler was signing autographs for his home fans when a guy attacked him, opening a pretty large cut over his left eye....
Ray Rice's Biggest Problem Isn't That He Knocked Out His Wife, But When
The 2015 Ray Rice Redemption Tour officially launched this week with similar, similarly glowing profiles of the ex-Baltimore Raven in Men’s Fitness and New York. Once best-known for being one of the top running backs in the National Football League, he’s now principally famous for having knocked his...
LeSean McCoy Says Chip Kelly Doesn't Respect Star Players
It’s been two months since LeSean McCoy was traded from the Philadelphia Eagles to the Buffalo Bills in one of the more shocking NFL trades in recent memory. It was Eagles head coach Chip Kelly—who’s spent his first offseason with full power over personnel decisions doing all kinds of crazy shit—who...
Remember When A Duke Alum Wrote This Very Bad Letter To Elton Brand?
Today is a nice day for Duke fans. The Deadspin staff is not unmoved by this, so we thought we might share one of our favorite memories involving a Duke player. ...
Wrigley Field To Be Stocked With Portable Toilets
After watching Wrigley Field turn into a piss-soaked hellscape on opening night, the Chicago Cubs are taking steps to replace the bathroom facilities that have been knocked out by the ongoing construction at the stadium. Here come the portable toilets to save the day! ...
Duke Beats Wisconsin For Fifth National Title
We got a competitive national championship game, but not the one that we expected. In Jahlil Okafor and Justise Winslow, Duke has two players that are expected to go in the top 5 of the upcoming draft. But neither could stay out of foul trouble—they both finished the game with four—and seven minute...
Po Sad. Sad Po.
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This Is Your Moment In The Sun, Buddy
Just your average, everyday NCAA title game double bird....
This Is The Last Thing You See Before You Die
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Lawrence Tynes Sues Buccaneers Over Career-Ending MRSA Infection
Lawrence Tynes hasn’t kicked in the NFL since suffering an MRSA infection in his toe in August 2013, while he was with the Buccaneers. Today he made it clear he blames the team for the infection and the end of his football career, as he filed a lawsuit against the Buccaneers, seeking $35 million in...
UFC Hires Former IRS Shitbag, Presumably To Oppress Its Athletes
The UFC, lately embarrassed by its fighters failing a lot of drug tests, has hired shitbag/former IRS agent Jeff Novitzky, best known as beloved baseball legend Barry Bonds’s persecutor, to be its “Vice President of Athlete Health and Performance.” This seems like a high-falutin’ and more than faint...
Report: Assholes Racially Abuse Black Kids On AC Milan's Under-10 Team
If you're shouting racist abuse at nine-year-olds, you are truly one of the worst human beings in the world. ...
Proof That Major League Baseball Has a Drug Testing Program
I was surprised to read that Minnesota Twins pitcher Ervin Santana was served an 80-game suspension for using the PED Stanozolol, because I didn't know Major League Baseball had a drug testing program. ...
DA: NFL, Union Can See Pictures From Greg Hardy Case, Nobody Else Can
The Mecklenburg district attorney has allowed the NFL and the NFL Players Association to view seven photographs it wanted to see from Greg Hardy’s domestic violence case. What exactly is shown in the seven photographs isn’t made clear in the press release, but the announcement is clear on who won’t ...
Can You Pass The F.B.I.'s Fitness Exam?
For the first time in 16 years, the F.B.I. is checking to make sure all its agents stay in some semblance of shape. While all agents are required to go through a fairly vigorous fitness exam when they first join the bureau, the New York Times reports that the F.B.I. ended their once-mandatory annual...
Matt Stafford Traveled Through Time To 2005 And Got Married
Lions quarterback Matt Stafford got married over the weekend—congratulations to the happy couple!—and based on pictures that were taken at the event, it appears that he and his wedding party managed to travel through time and hold the ceremony in 2005, the last time trucker hats were a thing....
Aaron Hernandez's Defense Revolves Around That Piece Of Blue Gum
Prosecutors took nine weeks and called 131 witnesses to make their case against Aaron Hernandez. The defense called just three witnesses and rested its case today. ...