f Page 1882 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Perfect Beer For Classing Up Your Budhole
Last month, Forbes ran a preposterous article titled “The 13 Best Craft Beers in America.” There are a million things wrong with the piece, but let’s just deal with the three most glaring problems. First, why 13? That’s an unlucky number! Why you trying to hurt beer, Forbes?! Second, the author lack...
Jack Nicklaus Sinks Hole-In-One In Par-3 Contest
Old man’s still got it. Jack Nicklaus got a hole-in-one on the fourth hole of today’s par-3 contest at the Masters. The Golden Bear’s 75 years old and still better than you. ...
How Dinesh D'Souza Damaged My Faith
So conservative superstar Dinesh D'Souza recently went on Hannity and insisted that opposition to Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act "is a selective attack on Christianity," which might surprise those of you who thought it was simply about denying gay people the right to have Gay Pizza ...
Wrigley Field Bathrooms Will Be Ready Next Month, Maybe
Thanks to a rainout without rain, today is Game No. 2 for Wrigley Field, which revealed on opening night that its renovations had left it painfully, pants-pissingly short of functional bathrooms. The Cubs have addressed the situation by trucking in 72 portable toilets, to be split between the left-...
What If <i>Game Of Thrones</i> Characters Were <i>Game Of Thrones </i>Characters?
The fifth season of Game of Thrones starts this Sunday. (Don't worry, you can catch up here.) In honor of the occasion, we thought we’d have a little fun and match up some major Game of Thrones characters with their counterparts on ... Game of Thrones....
This Is What Pioneers Wear
The runner in the photo above with very little skin showing is Fatma El Sharnouby, representing Egypt at the World Cross Country Meet, held March 28, 2015, in Guiyang, China. She was Egypt's only entrant in the junior women's race, and was 95th out of 97 finishers. El Sharnouby's IAAF profile lists ...
Cubs Postpone Game On Account Of Rain; Rain Doesn't Show Up
After a disastrous opening night that saw fans peeing in cups to avoid enormous lines for the bathroom, the Cubs hauled in portable toilets in an effort to remedy the situation for future games. They didn’t get to try them out, however, because the club skipped their second game Tuesday night, post...
Selfie Dog Barfs
Dogs barf. Sometimes it’s really funny when dogs barf, like when they do it at sporting events, or at the precise moment that their owner is trying to snap a selfie with them....
How Did Darren Sharper Avoid Arrest For So Long?
ProPublica, Sports Illustrated, and The New Orleans Advocate teamed up to produce a thoroughly reported story seeking to explain how exactly former NFL player Darren Sharper was able to avoid getting arrested for years despite being accused of rape multiple times. The whole story is worth a read, b...
How To Make An Adequate Rye Old Fashioned
I go on runs with cocktails. I'm like a child who gets a new toy, obsesses over the toy for a full week, and then wants nothing to do with it. I went through a whole summer of drinking greyhounds and throwing up those greyhounds into the bushes. I drank a lot of rum & Diet Cokes when I was tryi...
Drew Magary Won <i>Chopped</i> Last Night And It’s A Goddamn National Disgrace
So imagine my surprise when I logged onto Deadspin last night and found that serial child abuser Drew Magary was participating on Chopped. That due to some combination of threatening the producers with a kitchen knife and Shibbolethian fecal rituals, he had managed to convince them that he knew how...
Report: Former NFL Receiver Dwight Jones Charged With Animal Cruelty
Police charged former NFL receiver Dwight Jones with felony killing an animal by starvation Monday after they found one dead dog and another starved dog in his yard, per the Times-News....
Just Prince Fielder, Doing Some Squats With A Rougned On His Back
Prince Fielder’s new pregame workout routine sure looks like a lot of fun....
Report: Chris Copeland Stabbed; Two Hawks Arrested At NYC Nightclub
According to the New York Daily News, Indiana Pacers forward Chris Copeland was stabbed in the abdomen outside of 1 OAK in New York City early this morning. Copeland’s wife, Katrine Saltara, and a second woman were also slashed during the incident. Pero Antic and Thabo Sefalosha of the Atlanta Hawks...
Idiot On The Field Almost Gets Away
An idiot ran onto the field during tonight’s Orioles-Rays game at Tropicana Field just to shake Desmond Jennings’s hand. But who cares about that, what really matters is that the idiot got away! Look at this dude lazily flop over the outfield wall! ...
Records: Will Allen Tried To Dodge Being Served In Ponzi Scheme Case
The Securities and Exchange Commission* has accused former NFL cornerback Will Allen and a partner of running an approximately $31 million Ponzi scheme that lured in athletes from all four major American sports leagues. And as part of what will probably be an ongoing legal process, Allen and Susan ...
Our Very Own Drew Magary Is A Contestant On <i>Chopped </i>Tonight
Longtime readers may recall that your friend and mine Drew Magary applied to be an amateur contestant on Chopped, the Food Network’s allegedly very popular cooking show, back in July 2012. Well, he made it on, and the episode airs tonight at 10 p.m. EST. (He is one of the four people to the left.) I...
What If Roger Goodell Were President?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering taco enemas, board games, wiping, and more....