ff Page 539 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Armed Robbery Will Turn Stephen Jackson Into The NBA's Charles Bronson, Bobcats Beat Writer Thinks
The wife of Bobcats forward Stephen Jackson was held at gunpoint by home invaders, locked in a bathroom, and robbed in the couple's Charlotte home Wednesday. Trauma aside, she's fine. But don't tell that to Rick Bonnell of the Charlotte Observer....

NFL Wants To Take Hard-Earned Money From All Those Players Who Shoot Themselves In Bars Or Something
NFL executive vice president Jeff Pash has some serious problems with the current collective bargaining agreement, foremost being that all those football players shooting themselves in bars get to keep their signing bonuses. Outrage!...

Jeff Gordon's Ex-Wife Being Sued For Naming Her Son After Him
James Dixon, the father of Brooke Gordon's 1-year-old, has taken her to court, demanding child support and that he have Dixon's last name instead of "Gordon." Dixon should be happy: without Jeff Gordon, Brooke wouldn't have any money to give. [Scene Daily]...

David Huff Avenges Alleged Twitter-Induced Indians Snub By Pitching Shutout
Huff claimed his Twitter was hijacked by some phantom, who informed his followers last Friday he would start for the Indians yesterday. Cleveland management, unimpressed by his presumptions, didn't call him up. Angered by the snub, Huff went on topitch masterfully yesterday....

In Which We Try To Class Up That Burger King Parking Lot Fight Video
Yesterday's fight video was so operatic in scale and intensity of emotion that we figured we'd give it the soundtrack it deserves....

When World Cup Third-Place Final Celebrations Go Wrong
Remember kids: buckle up for safety. Especially when your mate is a flash twat with a sensitive accelerator pedal....

Potential Vandals Beware: There Are Witnesses
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Fan-Burning-LeBron-Jersey Videos Are The New Fan-Screaming-In-Front-Of-TV Videos
Cleveland is having its very own Guy Fawkes Day right now. If you see any more of these out there, do let us know. [via @TreyKerby]...

Forget About LeBronukkah With This Mindblowing Stop-Motion History Of Evolution
Here's a video by street artist Blu, who paints our evolutionary history on various surfaces and records it all with some fine stop-motion animatin'. It features a prokaryote doing a one-hour special called "The Decision." [CultureLab]...

Dear LeBron: You See This Shit?
Joe Johnson announced he's returning to the Hawks, and he did it via a column in the Huffington Post. I think you and I, LeBron, can do better than that. I've got a proposition for you....

Intern Horrors: Destroying A Bathroom At America's Crappiest Newspaper
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein interns and the people who exploit them write in to complain about each other (or confess their own sins). This week: befouling USA Today's bathrooms, our most boorish intern yet, and more....

Just To Keep You Abreast Of The Current Publishing Situation
All of Gawker media is having trouble uploading images. That's why you just see a headline on the front page. But videos? They're fine. That's why you're watching the Cupid Shuffle again. Or not. Fuck....

Here's Video Of The U.S. Getting Jobbed By A Ref. Again.
This run by the U.S. in the 23rd minute resulted in yet another disallowed goal for the USMNT after Clint Dempsey's strike was called off on a questionable offsides call. Here's video proof that it was pretty much nonsense....

World Cup Open Thread: Greece-Argentina; Nigeria-South Korea
The second batch of games has some potential. Greece will need to hold back the relentless Argentine attack if it wants to advance. Can Nigeria play spoiler to the ambitious South Koreans? Comment as you watch....

Why We Must Invade Mali
FIFA's review of Koman Coulibaly won't answer the question of how someone with two lazy eyes and a day job as financial auditor for the notoriously corrupt Malian government was allowed to be a World Cup official in the first place....

Last Night's Winner: Kansas City
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the good people of Kansas City, Mo., who received the 2012 MLB All-Star Game, for some reason. No clear reason, actually....

Celtics-Lakers Has Competitive Greatness Coming Out The Ass
Quietly, perhaps in a brief moment when floppy Derek Fisher wasn't butoh dancing for the refs, Celtics-Lakers became everything anyone could want in a basketball series....

Report: USC Football Gets 2-Year Bowl Ban
It only took six years, but USC is finally getting called to the NCAA principal's office. Postseason ban, loss of scholarships, games and possibly that 2004 national title. You know, now sounds like an excellent time to join the Pac-10....

Dustin Hoffman And Jason Bateman Smooch It Up On Staples Center Kiss Cam
Runaway Jury star Dustin Hoffman and Smokin' Aces thesp Jason Bateman sat beside each other at last night's game and appeared together on the kiss cam. Immediately afterwards, the Celtics fan behind them became violently ill on his common law wife. [DListed]...

Today In "Bryce Harper Is A No-Good Hothead"
Bryce Harper is good at baseball and he knows it. He has a reputation as a bit of a whippersnapper, though, and after getting ejected last night for making a gesture at an ump, that rep will continue to grow....