fictionalcharacters Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
If this is the price for a superstar quarterback, I’ll pass
I’m exhausted trying to think of ways to drive home the severity of the allegations against Deshaun Watson. The depth of his indiscretions and sheer volume of his accusers is hard to put into words. It’s one of those things that you need to see visually to contextualize just how many massage therapi...
How is it OK to share video of people fleeing a mass shooter?
I’ve watched enough disaster movies to know what a fleeing crowd looks like — people scattering, screaming, panicking. It’s one thing if movie extras are running from the Chitauri in the Avengers, but it’s another deeply disturbing, unnecessary Twitter video when it’s a crowd of Milwaukee Bucks’ fan...
History should remember Isaiah Wong as a hero, not a villain
Last week, a worker “allegedly” had intentions of finding another job if his current employer didn’t give him a raise he’d proven he earned. The worker knew his value and “allegedly” felt like he should be paid more after outperforming his deal. You would think that something like this would be appl...
Not sure that’s how NIL is supposed to be used
OK, we have our first villain of the NIL era....
Fictional Hooper Bracket: The Round of 16
Bugs is the best bunny left in our Sweet 16...
Fictional Hooper Bracket: Hickory Region - Round 2
An overweight out-of-work actor who didn’t make a bucket on screen, a cartoon grade school kid, and Urkel all prevailed in the Hickory Region, meaning the 11, 13, and 14 seeds came up Milhouse in an upset-riddled round. Now, Urkel and Recess’ Vince LaSalle face off to go to the Sweet 16....
The Golden Knights are so desperate they tried to trade a player they couldn’t trade
It was only a few days ago we chronicled that increasingly desperate situation the Golden Knights find themselves in. They have nothing more than a crimp grip on the last wildcard spot in the Western Conference, with the Dallas Stars having four games in hand on them just a point behind. ...
Fictional Hooper Bracket: Venice Beach Regional - Round 2
The first round of the Venice Beach Regional went mostly according to the seedings, with an easily predicted upset (12-seed Buggs beating the 5-seed Pound in a Space Jam rematch), and one I didn’t see coming (13-seed Clarence Withers toppling 4-seed Quincy McCall). At the top of the bracket, Billy H...
The way that some NFL teams and media members are fawning over Deshaun Watson is disgusting
The NFL doesn’t have a floor. There isn’t a low that this league and some of the people who cover it won’t stoop to. It’s the only way to explain the attention surrounding Deshaun Watson and where he will end up playing next season....
Uber Everywhere, including from Indianapolis to Champaign
On a dark and stormy (and windy, rainy, tornado-ridden, etc. — you get the drift) Midwestern Friday night, the Arizona basketball team landed in Indianapolis after their flight headed for Champaign-Urbana was diverted due to weather conditions. The No. 11-ranked Wildcats were flying into town the ni...
Watch Lincoln Riley at your own risk
It looks like USC used up their entire athletic budget on Lincoln Riley’s $100 million contract. The video of his introduction as the Trojans’ new head coach is making the Twitter rounds, an introduction that can truly only be described as a combination of an SNL skit, a vivid melatonin-induced drea...
Robert Griffin III survived Washington, now he’s ready to expose the franchise from his perspective
The tell-all book business is booming, and Robert Griffin III is jumping into the ring with his book due out in August 2022, titled Surviving Washington. Griffin is set to dish up his recollection of all the dirt that went on behind the scenes during his time in the Nation’s capital as quarterback f...
Trying to save Face(book): Meta-style rebranding campaigns for sports teams and figures
Facebook tried to go full pivot yesterday with a rebranding of its name. For those of you who haven’t figured out that Facebook is a bottomless pit of frustration, despair, bigotry, misinformation, etc. and deleted your account — or forgot your login and don’t have access to your college email anymo...
Bradley Zimmer has family bragging rights for life
You remember playing baseball in the street with your siblings? Your brother or sister would also play the role of both announcer and pitcher. They’d toe the rubber and come up with some absurd scenario every time like “Two outs, full count, bottom of the ninth, down by three, bases loaded, Game 7 o...
CONCACAF just CONCACAF’d like never before
The most CONCACAF thing happened on Tuesday night, which is an enormous statement to make if you know anything about how CONCACAF works....
Kyrie’s antics can be funny when they’re not dangerous
There’s not enough sage in the world to burn in order to cleanse the vibes of Kyrie Irving’s takes on science....
The Deshaun Watson saga just keeps getting murkier
The future of Deshaun Watson continues to be a major question mark. ...
Why isn't Deshaun Watson on NFL Commissioner's Exempt List?
The fact that Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson is allowed anywhere near a football field is despicable, yet here we are. Watson reported to the Texans facility yesterday for COVID testing in advance of training camp, while also reiterating his stance that he will not play for the team this ...