fl Page 1033 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

X-Games Flasher, Large Photo Make For R-Rated Where's Waldo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Rex Ryan Loses Weight-Loss Contest, Despite Having Lap-Band Surgery
The Jets coach came in third out of three, in a race with two of his players to see who could drop the most pounds in the offseason. That's even with the surgery which makes it impossible not to lose weight....

Dez Bryant Could Learn A Lesson
Travis Ivey didn't seem to mind carrying six sets of pads after Dolphins practice yesterday. Alternate caption: the NFL takes steps to prevent neck and spinal injuries. [Photo: AP]...

Roethlisberger's Wolfpack Growing Daily
Pittsburgh Review-Journal columnist Joe Starkey has a dream. In it, his hometown quarterback wouldn't get punished more for pesky rape accusations than, say, Vince "Allegedly Fights in Strip Clubs" Young or Tom "Allegedly Fights Everywhere, Hits Women" Cable....

Final Jeopardy Exposes One Poor Woman Who Knows Nothing About Sports
It was a sports question for Final Jeopardy last night! How do you think you'll do? Better than Meg, probably. The full question is after the jump, but rest assured, the answer is not the Jacksonville Panthers....

Vernon Davis And Aaron Maybin Enjoy Stripper-Laced Vacation
In the past, NFL players had the luxury of a slower news cycle and no threat of grainy cellphone pictures—Joe Namath and Dan Fouts could attend a key party in peace, damnit. Those days are long, long gone....

Tim Tebow Rich In Spirit, Actual Money
The Broncos inked their 4-snaps-a-game QB of the future to 5 years, $33 million (max) — $8.7 million guaranteed. That's a lot of tithing....

ESPN Anchor Commits Gaffe. Oh, And He Calls Citi Field "Shitty Field," Too.
Following a look-in to whatever it is that A-Rod was doing, Anish Shroff flubbed sending it back to the announcers at the Mets game, saying, "Let's get you back out to Shitty Field as the Mets threaten [sic] the 8th." How embarrassing!...

Another Stupid Piece Of News About Stupid Brett Favre That's Just So Stupid
I hate writing this stuff, but the numbers show that you people care. So help stop the cycle, and don't click on this post....

Chad Ochocinco Might Have Disproportionate Expectations For This Season
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco....

Jack Tatum Killed Darryl Stingley, And We Made Him Do It
Football fans for decades have demanded bigger, stronger, faster players and harder hits. Jack Tatum gave you what you wanted. Were you not entertained?...

Jack Tatum, Dead At 61
Tatum, inevitably known for two plays — the Immaculate Reception and the paralysis of Darryl Stingley — passed away from complications related to the diabetes that had affected him since his retirement. [WBNS]...

Tim Tebow's Passion Of The Crotch
Tim Tebow has inked a multiyear deal to be a spokesman for Jockey. "They make a quality product with a great fit," he says. Tighty-whiteys? It's got to be the tighty-whiteys. [jockey.com/tebow (seriously)]...

This Is The Poster That's Supposed To Save NFL Players' Lives
Our retired football players are getting dementia or just plain dying at an alarming rate, due to all the head trauma they receive during their careers. The NFL's proffered solution is to put up this colorful poster in locker rooms....

Our First Pie-Related Injury Of The Season Not Involving Prince Fielder
Chris Coghlan heads to the DL, and could need surgery for a torn meniscus suffered while smushing a shaving cream pie in Wes Helms's face after another Marlins walk-off win. The cake vs. pie debate claims another victim. [MLB.com]...

Where Does Sergio Kindle Rank On A List Of Great Falling-Down-Stairs Moments?
The Ravens rookie tumbled down not one, but two flights of stairs. He's in stable condition with a head injury, and will be fine. Kindle, LB, Texas. MUST IMPROVE: basic motor functions....

Monday Morning Psychologist, With Dez Bryant And Roy Williams
Actual headline from actual newspaper: "Dez Bryant Refuses To Carry Roy Williams' Shoulder Pads." So while this may not be a big story, the media's damn sure they're going to make it one. So let's analyze!...

Seth Tommeraasen Asks "Does Deadspin Cover Flugtag?"
... And Brian Hickey answers, "You bet your ass Deadspin covers flugtag. Lookie here."...

Kings of Leon Dethroned by Pigeons
What's most ladylike: a) Curtseying, b) Sitting with legs crossed while wearing a skirt or c) Canceling a concert in St. Louis after three songs because birds were pooing on you? If you answered "C," we're in agreement....

Tim Tebow Makes Me Hate America
Elway made me a Denver Broncos fan in '83. Activist-athlete Tim Tebow made me a non-Broncos fan from '10 until which point Tebow's gone off to monastery and Mini-Belichick Josh McDaniels returns to Madame Tussauds' Napoleon display....