football Page 269 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
At The Golden Ram Barber Shop, The Rams Never Left And Can't Lose
It would be easy to miss The Golden Ram Barber Shop if you were walking by it, which is not something that you’d be doing. There are sidewalks along the stretch of Goldenwest Street in Westminster, Calif., but they are underutilized even by the standards of the greater Los Angeles metro area and dwa...
NFL Teams Are Taking All The Wrong Lessons From Sean McVay's Success
It’s a commonplace that the NFL is a copycat league, but that doesn’t tell the whole story. Look at the rise of Sean McVay, which in recent months has prompted a mad scramble among teams for McVayalikes the world over. Confronted with one successful unorthodox coaching hire, many NFL teams seized on...
Not Even The Lawyers Can Agree On What's Going On With The NFL Concussion Settlement
A judge’s order that called for a clarification of the physicians’ rules for the NFL concussion settlement will not affect the standard those physicians must use to issue a qualifying diagnosis, thus ostensibly making it easier for former players to qualify for settlement money, according to a lawye...
I, The One Person Who Still Doesn't Believe In The Patriots, Know They'll Finally Be Exposed As A Sham In Their Third Straight Super Bowl
After my previous missive, one written before the New England Patriots defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC title game and earned a trip to the Super Bowl, I had many common oafs criticize my prognostication through electronic mail and other various mediums. You lummox, these messages would st...
Roger Goodell Says He Reached Out To The Saints; Michael Thomas Says That's A Lie
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was his usual charmless, evasive self at yesterday’s annual pre-Super Bowl press conference. He dodged all the hard questions and didn’t have anything interesting to say, but he did claim to have reached out to Saints head coach Sean Payton and a few Saints players in ...
Patrick Peterson: Upon Second Thought, I Shall Ride The Towering Assberg
Back in October, with his horrid Cardinals stuck at 1–6 and playing like a gigantic ass that was pooped out by an even larger ass, Pro Bowl cornerback Patrick Peterson reached the end of his rope and demanded a trade, sending word through Adam Schefter that he “desperately” wanted a change of scener...
Here Is A Delightful Anecdote From Cameron Jordan About The Browns Being Incompetent
Now, everyone knows that former Cal defensive lineman Cameron Jordan was selected with the 24th overall pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. What the Tom Heckert/Pat Shurmur–era Browns presupposed at the time was....maybe he wasn’t?...
Please Stop Praising The Idiot Football Men For Dressing Poorly In Cold Weather<em></em>
As you might have heard, it’s cold outside in large portions of the country today. It’s so cold that (PSA: there is no punchline forthcoming) the National Weather Service has warned citizens of Chicago that frostbite can set in after just five minutes of exposure to such extreme temperatures. Has th...
Hate The Patriots For The Right Reason
The idea as pitched was to do one more takeout of the essential evil that is the New England Patriots collective—because, yeah, that’s never been done before. Up until now, it’s been one hagiography after another, because the Patriots have been so damned cuddly and cheek-pinchable. The helmet logo i...
I Went Backstage At The Puppy Bowl And Tried To Interview A Bunch Of Puppies
The Puppy Bowl began as Super Bowl counterprogramming. Everyone’s watching football, so why not just throw a bunch of puppies on the screen and call it a day? Somehow, that worked not just as filler but as actual programming. The Puppy Bowl airs Sunday for the 15th straight year....
A Brief History Of Dan Snyder’s Superyachts, Which Have Put Him In Elizabeth Warren's Crosshairs
The two greatest days in Dan Snyder’s life are the day he buys a boat, and the day he buys a bigger boat....
<i>Madden</i> Is As Full Of Anonymous Players As The NFL Itself
It’s hardly a selling point, but this year’s edition of Madden has the real Kyle Lauletta. The game’s rendering of the Giants’ rookie quarterback—who stepped into a blowout win against Washington in Week 13 to throw five incompletions and a pick and then meekly returned to clipboard and donut-gofer ...
Jason Witten Broke The Damn Pro Bowl Trophy
Here’s the most Pro Bowl shit ever: Jason Witten broke the Pro Bowl trophy while trying to award it to AFC team members Patrick Mahomes and Jamal Adams....
Patrick Mahomes Cared Enough About His Pro Bowl Performance To Drop An F-Bomb On Live TV
One of the feeble attempts at making the Pro Bowl seem somewhat interesting has been broadcasting quarterback cadences and conversations as they’re on the field. But even that nearly fell apart....
Report: Washington Will Be "Pleasantly Surprised" If Alex Smith Is Ready To Play Next Season
Washington is going into its offseason preparations with the expectation that starting quarterback Alex Smith will not be available to play next year, according to NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport....
Jon Gruden Marks Senior Bowl Standouts With Raiders Stickers So He Doesn't Forget Who He Liked
Turns out that when Jon Gruden said he wanted to bring back coaching strategies from 1998, he also meant motivational tactics from that era as well. As Gruden and the rest of his Raiders staff coached the North to a 34-24 victory over the South in this year’s Senior Bowl, he decided congratulate eac...
NFL Finally Takes Action On Uncalled Hit That Cost The Saints A Super Bowl Trip
By now, you’re probably sick of hearing about Rams cornerback Nickell Robey-Coleman’s hit on Saints wideout Tommylee Lewis in the NFC Championship Game, which failed to draw a penalty flag that would have all but clinched the game for New Orleans. Since that play, everyone from current Saints player...
Useless Senator From Louisiana Takes To The Floor To Moan About The Saints Game
The U.S. government entered day 35 of its shutdown today. Hundreds of thousands of federal employees have not been paid in over a month, the airline industry is on the brink of total collapse, and the lines outside food banks get longer every day. Meanwhile, Louisiana Republican Senator Bill Cassid...
If You're A Kicker Who Needs A Job You Should Think About Visiting Chicago
The Chicago Bears were double-doinked out of the playoffs by placekicker Cody Parkey, who then made an appearance on Today before anyone really had a chance to start feeling sorry for him. The Bears brass seemed pretty pissed about Parkey going on TV, and now he is officially on the hot seat:...