football Page 299 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
There's No Recession For Vicious Youth Football Hits
There seems to be an alarming number of youth football players getting flat out owned these days. Or maybe there's just an alarming number of parents who document their child's every move and then upload their humiliation to YouTube. Either way, undersized children are getting absolutely destroyed ...
There Are More Favres Around Than You Think, America
Yes, Dylan Favre here, a junior at St. Stanislaus High in Mississippi, is related to Brett Favre. He's a nephew, and evidently pretty good, for his size. Favre the Lesser set the state's single-season record for TD passes at 43 last week in his team's regular-season finale, throwing for five scores ...
Ha! I Can Never Be Tackl ... Ohhh, Mommy!
This youngster here is obviously a fan of the classic, straight-ahead running style of now-retired Dolphins running back Larry Csonka. Ouch. I should have listened to mom when she suggested beginning golf. The question is, which hit was bigger: This one, or the one levied by the Eagles' Chris Goc...
HS Championship Game Delayed Due to Lack of Referees
Sure, game officials are the bane of existence and they're all out to cheat for the other team and they're incompetent and corrupt and love being the center of attention and cause eczema in laboratory rats. However, unless someone figures out how to call their own 12-men-on-the-field penalties, you ...
Install Texas Stadium End Zone in Your Back Yard (Cheerleaders Included)
In a blatant effort to rearm the Salvation Army in order to fight street to street in the urban centers and rural battlegrounds of America, Jerry Jones and a Coalition of the Willing to Appear Charitable in a Very Public Fashion have offered a unique combination of the gauche and the gaucho to the w...
Oaks Christian Has An Overabundance Of Famous Progeny
Here are Nick Montana, Trevor Gretzky and Trey Smith, all of whom play football at Oaks Christian High in Westlake Village, near Los Angeles, and whose rather famous fathers don't have much trouble paying the school's annual $21,640 tuition, I'm guessing. If you want to witness a hilarious sight on ...
College Football Preview: The Jort-Out Is Coming
In a move reminiscent of the final rap contest between Rabbit and Papa Doc, Florida fans have embraced their greatest flaw: the you wear jorts insult that Georgia fans have been hurling for the better part of a decade. Yep, there's an organized movement afoot for Gator fans to show up in jorts for t...
Alabama Fan Waxes Eloquent On Life, Tennessee, and Saban
This is what it has come to: an erudite Alabama fan self-nicknamed "Cowboy" is Phil Fulmer's greatest defender. And Cowboy thinks that Nick Saban might be watching his analysis. Which, given that Saban is all-knowing and all-powerful, He probably is. Find a better mustache than this, I dare you. ...
Halftime Entertainment In Wisconsin Is Different From Where You Live
The New Berlin Eisenhower High School football program — motto: When you gotta go, you gotta go — is under fire this week for the actions of its junior varsity team at halftime of a recent game against — and I'm not making this up — Pewaukee High. Believing that the restrooms were locked, visiting E...
Fun With Ad Placement: Football Edition
If you're like me, you scour the Internet daily for wacky, unfortunate ad placement ... here's one of my favorites. And in a little added bonus to our coverage of that Ohio prep football fight yesterday, a reader points out a very hilarious ad placement on the Dayton Daily News web site. Notice that...
Down Goes The Ref
What you see here is a referee being struck in the face during a fight at a high school game in Ohio between Springfield and Shelbyville Kettering Fairmont on Friday. The official was taken to the hospital with a facial injury but will be OK. In case you've never seen one in person, there's no scari...
Seattle Mist Looking For A Few Good Hot Chicks
Attention Seattle-area residents: Your dream of becoming a Lingerie Football League star may be about to come true! (Sorry Hasselbeck, girls only). You still have a couple of hours to get down to Greenlake Park for tryouts for the Seattle Mist, the LFL's latest franchise. This is a legitimate footba...
Football Game Called On Account Of Ants?
It's clear that the powers of Nightmare Ant are still not fully understood. For instance, apparently he has the ability to command his minions to ruin any sporting event he chooses. Swarm, my pretties! Swarm! A football game scheduled at Rialto High School ii Calif., was canceled recently when a col...
LSU's Jarrett Lee Is A Golden...Beer Pong Expert
LSU fans who remember the limp-wristed second quarter toss against Auburn that led to the easiest interception return for a touchdown of the 2008 season will recognize the hand-eye coordination in the above photo of Lee engaging in extracurricular collegiate activities. This photo (courtesy The Big...
College Football Roundup: Charlie Weis Is Broken
After a week of piddling interest, college football returned with a vengeance. Before I get rolling with 11 observations on the weekend that was, let me take this opportunity to get this before the jump. Our fearless editor is going to have a full-report from OSU-USC, but let's just say it now, can...
Creative Ways to Cheat Your Way to Success Back at the Office
Over the weekend, we've been presented with numerous ways to succeed by circumventing unfair and inappropriate "rules" meant to hurt you and not others by not giving you everything you want immediately. As we close out this weekend, let us give you the tools used by sports teams across the globe so ...
NFL Update: Week 2 Early Games Final
• Bears 17, Panthers 20- sigh. Jonathan Stewart scored his second TD with under four minutes left to secure the win. Oh, and a stalled Bears drive failed to bring them back. • Bills 20, Jaguars 16 - Trent Edwards (20-25, 239 yds.) charged back with 10 points in the fourth to steal the win. • Giants ...
NFL Update: Week 2 Third Quarter
• Bears 17, Panthers 13- Carolina rudely won't give up to the Neckbeard's superiority (17-23, 140 yards). Also: holding, Chicago. • Bills 10, Jaguars 16 - Maurice Jones-Drew scores a TD on a 74-yard drive for the Jaguars. • Giants 20, Rams 6 - Eli Manning: 17-26, 202 yds, 2 TDs, 86 commercials. Welc...
NFL Update: Week 2 Halftime
• Bears 10, Panthers 3- Both teams traded field goals in the second quarter. Matt Forte has 15 carries for 43 yards. • Bills 10, Jaguars 3 - Fred Jackson has four catches for 50 yards. • Giants 13, Rams 6 - Both teams traded field goals and then traded field goals again, including one at the half. E...
That's Why They Call It Special Teams
Chris Myers gave himself a water bukkake before the Bears-Panthers game. We're pretty sure we never need to see that again. In fact, we're stepping away in a moment to invent a time machine so we can step back in time to smash our television set just before it happened and then tell our self in the ...