fuckin Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Look At These Fucking Loopsters: Chronicling The Indy 500
Some maniac on Twitter is scouring the web and documenting the Indianapolis 500 in picture form this afternoon. Here are a few of the snapshots we found most interesting. The whole thing is a wonderful contemplation on absurdity and Americana, however, so you should check it out throughout the day....
Cyndi Lauper Is Still Alive, Cursing Like A Sailor At Kentucky Derby Event
The Kentucky Derby is this afternoon and nothing says "prestigious first leg of the Triple Crown" like involving Cyndi Lauper in some low-rent celebratory parade....
Jeremy Guthrie on 15-Day Disabled List Because He Is A Bicycle-Riding Hippie
Jeremy Guthrie, who may have more in common with Arlo than previously thought, will "miss a couple starts" according to Rockies' manager Jim Tracy with some right AC joint pain....
The Cardinals Put The Rally Squirrel On Their World Series Rings
If being from St. Louis weren't already embarrassing, here's the rally squirrel, immortalized in gaudy jewels and precious metal. The rings, as noted in these consecutively written sentences were presented to the Cardinals yesterday and are meant to encapsulate the entire season....
"Motherfuckin' Shit! Take Your Ass Home!" Or, Why The Baltimore Orioles Matter
The best night of the 2011 baseball season in Baltimore was the final one. For once, for the first time in years, the whole country was watching. And what it saw was a thing of joy. There were the Boston Red Sox, all $161 million worth of them, one out away from a 3-2 victory and, at worst, a one-ga...
Joey Votto's New Contract Is Like A Mortgage-Backed Security
Reds first baseman Joey Votto officially signed a big contract extension today. A big, honking deal: 10 years, $225 million, on top of the two years and $26 million the Reds already promised him for 2012 and 2013. There's an option year for 2024....
Tripping Basketballs: Hoopsters Are Alive And Well At The Ultra Music Festival
While we declared the end to the Hoopster trend a year and a half ago, the Hoopsters show no signs of quitting—certainly not at this past weekend's Ultra music fest in Miami. For the uninitiated, Ultra is the social event for college kids who love Ecstasy and sort of like electronic music. Here are...
Can Quantum Physics Tell Us Whether Peyton Manning Is Washed Up Or Not?
ESPN's Jeff MacGregor has some thoughts today about the thorny Peyton Manning situation:...
Tim Tebow Had A "Dinner Date" With Taylor Swift
Big news from Page Six today: white America's two favorite savants might be having a thing....
Chris Arreola Responded To Don King's "Wetbacks" Comment By Calling King A "Fucking Asshole"
Chris Arreola knocked Eric Molina out in the first round of their heavyweight bout this weekend in Corpus Christi, then sent Showtime ring reporter Jim Gray reeling with a closing statement on Don King....
It's Official, Dominic Moore Is Always Worth A Second-Rounder
In 2009, Dominic Moore went from Toronto to Buffalo for a second-round pick....
The Big 12 Is Like West Virginia's Wealthy Uncle
West Virginia was all "Fuck you, Big East," and the Big East kept saying, "Not so fast, young man," but now WVU has agreed to pay $20 million to the Big East to be able to leave in time for football season, with the Big 12 agreeing to cover half of that in the form of a loan, part of which will be ...
It Looks Like A.J. Burnett Will Soon Take His Scowl To Pittsburgh
Jon Heyman reports that the Yankees will soon receive two non-roster players from Pittsburgh in exchange for the useless Burnett and about $20 million. It's essentially a bigger-money, surlier version of that time Matt Morris landed in Pittsburgh. [Twitter]...
After Signing Cuban Defector With Weird Workout Video, Have The A's Had The Strangest Offseason Ever?
What is going on Oakland? (No, not this.) Billy Beane's done some things. He traded two young All-Star starters, Gio Gonzalez and Trevor Cahill, to the Nationals and Diamondbacks. He traded away his closer, Andrew Bailey, and Craig Breslow, another reliable reliever. Then he traded away two more sta...
Did Dirk Nowitzki Shout "Fucking Faggot" After Hitting The Shot That Locked Up Tonight's Mavericks Win?
We're not entirely sure what it is Dirk Nowitzki shouts after hitting the dagger to ensure tonight's 97-94 double-OT win over Portland, but it sure looks like the same thing that earned Kobe Bryant an unprecedented $100,000 fine last season....
AccuWeather Predicts A One Hundred Percent Chance Of Derek Holland
Last night, Derek Holland dropped by News 8's studio to give Peter Delkus a hand with the weather forecasting. What followed was a clinic on how to be a goofball Major League Baseball player who reads the weather for a local news broadcast. Highlights include the weatherman—"meteorologist"—calling...
The Big East's Plan To Save Itself By Becoming Conference USA Continues To Take Shape
To review: Pitt, Syracuse, and West Virginia are going. Houston, Central Florida, and Southern Methodist are joining, with Boise State, San Diego State, and Navy eventually signing on just for football. And now, per CBS Sports, Memphis is in "the final stages of negotiations" to become an all-sport...
Yu Screwed Prince Fielder (Sort Of)
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!...
AL MVP Justin Verlander Eats Like You Do When You're Drunk At 2 A.M.
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!...
NCAA's "Cecil Newton Rule" Closes A Loophole That Should Have Been Closed 50 Years Ago
Did you know there was a big Cam Newton scandal? It's true! People were getting all mad about it and everything! I know we've all got short memories, and Newton's better known for being Tim Tebow, but black and good, but it was just 14 short months ago that the NCAA was rocked by reports that Newton...