g Page 5061 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: British Skeletoners
In sports, everyone is a winner- some people just win better than others. Like Amy Williams, whose gold in skeleton summarily refuted two British stereotypes - that they suck at the Winter Olympics, and that they don't have purty teeth....
Just Imagine If He'd Won Gold
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Gary Coleman Would Not Like To Apologize For His Actions
In other scandal-ridden relationship news, Gary Coleman overcompensates for his short stature by telling "The Insider" round table to promptly go fuck themselves....
At Yankee Stadium, Boxing Beats Bar Mitzvah
Boxing will make a triumphant return to Yankee Stadium, with a junior middleweight title fight pitting Yuri Foreman against Miguel Cotto. But it'll come at the expense of young Scott Ballan, who may never become a man....
The Cold War Is Officially Back On
Evgeni Plushenko: "I was positive that I won. But I suppose Evan needs the medal more than I do. Maybe it's because I already have one." Oh, your plan all along was to un-retire to be runner-up, then? Burn. [WaPo]...
Our Long National Nightmare Is Over
In news that probably interests only me, they've finally benched the choking captain of our choking team of choking curlers. [NBC]...
Tailpipe: "Let's Go For The Pole Today"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....
Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure: Promise Rings, Triple C-Blocks, And Withering Rejections
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase six heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Mark Ingram, Mateen Cleaves, The Heisman, And A Baby: Explained!
Finally, a backstory for the most random photograph we've ever received. It involves making sure Mateen Izzy Cleaves Jr. grows up with unrealistic expectations. [Lost Lettermen]...
How A Luger Got Stonewalled Over His Concerns About Whistler's Deadly Track
"What happened in Whistler, what happened to the Georgian athlete," says Werner Hoeger, a two-time Olympic luger, "I thoroughly believe that the [International Luge Federation], Canadian Luge Association, and the IOC are responsible."...
Are You Ready For A Worldwide Dodgers Empire?
Frank McCourt has big plans for the Dodgers brand. Try a football stadium, couple of cable channels, expansion to China, and — because it's worked so well for American owners — a Premier League team....
Tiger Woods: An Apology In Three Acts
Gawker.TV genius Mike Byhoff has reduced Tiger Woods's apology to its most basic elements: Tiger repeatedly saying he's sorry, Tiger repeatedly talking about family, and Tiger repeatedly sounding like some sort of yogi....
Josh Howard: Party Monster
Howard might have been jumping for joy inside when he got traded to Washington. Not because the Wizards are any good, but because it was in Washington last month that he drank so much, he couldn't play the next day....
The Real Whores In All This? AP, Reuters, And Bloomberg
Three journalists — from the Associated Press, Reuters, and Bloomberg — accepted invitations to participate in the Tiger Woods apology kabuki. They should immediately be banished to whatever professional doghouse contains Judy Miller and the remains of Bob Novak....
No Wonder Why Tiger Woods Is Embracing Buddhism Again...
"As Buddha says, you've been shot with an arrow once (by the infidelity or the hurtful event), don't stick a second arrow into the same wound (by keep reminding yourself and feeling resentful)..."[SomeBuddhistThing(2nd Question)]...
Tiger Woods: "I Felt I Was Entitled"
It's hard to single out one defining moment in a 13-minute speech, but I think the clubhouse leader might be Tiger Woods saying that he felt he "deserved to enjoy all the temptations" around him. Eww....
Everyone's Overqualified To Cover The Nats, But Especially This Guy
Because Nationals Park is more hazardous and soul-numbing than Helmand Province, the Washington Post's new beat writer is a Pulitzer Prize winner. I'd rather be that Pulitzer winner who got laid off. [WaPo]...
Tiger Woods Press Conference: Open Thread
Give your witticisms a workout as Tiger reads from a script pulled from the sex addiction handbook. In case you're not near a television, watch it here....
Michael Jordan To Attend Tiger Woods Press Conference? (UPDATE)
Oh...GET THE F OUT. As if this whole thing already wasn't one big giant sham, according to a report from WEEI, Michael Jordan will be in attendance at Tiger's 11 a.m. press conference....
Last Night's Winner: The Golf Writers Association Of America
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like American golf scribes, who defiantly removed their lips from the tainted buttocks of Tiger Woods and decided to collectively boycott today's "press conference."...