g Page 5062 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Douchial Profiling: Cowboys Fan Searched At Philly Airport
It takes a certain kind of person to wear a Cowboys jersey around Philadelphia the week after Dallas knocked the Eagles out of the playoffs. A terroristic kind of person? Without knowing all the facts, we say: probably....

But From Whom Would A German Learn About Gelt?
Luger David Möller broke a tooth biting down on his silver medal. I can only imagine he was having a Homer Simpsonesque "Land of Chocolate" hallucination. [The Local]...

Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir's Gayness: The Euphemizing Goes Global
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

Prodigiously Endowed Pirate Pitcher Jim Bibby Is Now Dead (Update)
From an emailer: "I was disappointed to find that you made no mention of the passing of Jim Bibby on today's page......

The Tiger Woods Guide To Post-Scandal Press Conferences
No one knows what Tiger Woods will say or do tomorrow, but no matter what happens it will go down in the annals of classic public apologies. Here's a look at some of the legends of the genre....

Subway Fantasies, Fire, Sex Dolls, And Ingrown Hairs
I was watching "Archer" the other night and they had Archer's mom stranded on a shitty fishing boat that was named CHUM GUZZLER. That's a fucking win. Onto the letters....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Dino Bravo
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Dino Bravo, who was shot to death on March 11, 1993, in his Laval, Quebec, home....

Tiger's "Selfish" Apology Already Off To A Bad Start
Tiger Woods hasn't even shown up for his earth-shattering non-press conference, but he's already annoying everyone with his attention-hogging, me-first attitude....

Duke Lacrosse Accuser Arrested For Assault
The woman who falsely accused three Duke lacrosse players of rape in 2006 was arrested by Durham police after a domestic dispute. Charges include arson, assault and battery, identity theft, resisting an officer, child endangerment and attempted murder. So....yeah. [WRAL]...

Last Night's Winner: U! S! A! U! S! A!
In sports, everyone in a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Americans who, let's face it, are the awesomest winners who ever won a victory. Now it feels like a real Olympics!...

Comcast Goes From Inane To Inaccurate
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

UK/Canada Spat Uncharacteristically Crude, Penis-Related
The English papers have been taking shots at Canada's running of the games. One Canadian columnist fires back with accusations of premature ejaculation. Yep. We've reached that point....

A Horse Is A Horse, Off Course, Off Course
Five horses (well, their jockeys, I suppose) made a wrong turn in a recent race at Newcastle, and were disqualified. Turns out, it was a shortcut to the glue factory. [BBC]...

Golfing While Sick, For Fun And Profit
Henrik Stenson, puking and pooping his guts out, dragged himself on the course to play one hole at the Accenture Match Play Championship, before withdrawing. Why even bother?...

Your Tape-Delaympics Open Thread
Topics for discussion: Speedskating, the mentally ill man "infatuated" with Joe Biden who got within meters of the vice president at the Opening Ceremony, Rick Reilly on curling (forget Plaschke; this was the most inevitable column of the Olympics), double-corking....

Bus Fightin' Man Already An Oakland Legend
As noted earlier, the punchy old man who likes to deliver beat downs on Oakland bus riders appears to have been identified and it was not, as they say, "his first rodeo."...

NBC Responds To Olympic Complaints: "You Can't Please Everybody"
NBC has heard your complaints, America, and they have a message for those who are whining about the dearth of live event coverage at the Winter Olympics: We don't really care....

Even NBCOlympics.com Hates NBC's Olympic Coverage
Reader Alex sends this screenshot from NBC's Olympics web site. Please note the Olympic Pulse at bottom, featuring a tweet from alpine skier Jake Zamansky. NBC is now punching itself in the face. [NBCOlympics.com, @jakezamansky]...

Tiger Woods Will Apologize, Explain Himself On Friday To Friends And "Pool Of Reporters"
11 a.m. at PGA Tour headquarters. That's when Woods will re-emerge in public for the first time, according to Bloomberg....

Predictably, Bill Plaschke Has Something Stupid To Say About Lindsey Jacobellis
Well, this was probably the most inevitable column of the Olympics: Bill Plaschke, harshing Lindsey Jacobellis's mellow....