g Page 5077 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Might Have A Death Wish If You Want A Career in Big Time College Coaching
"Nearly every Division I head coach puts in more than 100-hour weeks during the season and heavy recruiting periods. If anything, it's amazing more coaches haven't suffered heart attacks or more serious ailments as a result of stress..."[SI]...

Northwestern Fan Explains Tiger's Masturbatory Lockdown To America
In a bizarre twist, Deadspin's Northwestern University Basketball Columnist Benoit Denizet-Lewis has become the go-to guy for Tiger Woods sex rehab details and this morning's SportsCenter prevailed upon him to break it down for their viewers. Today's lesson: celibacy contracts....

This Morning in TMZish Sports: A Tiger-Like Human Spotted At Sex Rehab
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Last Night's Winner: Massholes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curt Schilling's boy toy, Scott Brown, who posthumously kicked Ted Kennedy's health care loving butt. This is exactly like the American Revolution, but more annoying....

JaMarcus Russell Is The King Of Mardi Gras
Russell, the newly crowned King Elexis I, will lead the Mobile Area Mardi Gras Association parade. He'll also show you his C-cups for some beads. [Press-Register]...

Taiwan CGI'ers Take On Leno vs. Conan
Fresh off interpreting the Tiger Woods follies, Taiwan's considerable technological might comes to bear on the late night wars. Except Jay, Conan and Zucker are superheroes here, for some reason. This medium is the future of journalism, by the way....

Tiger Woods' Sex Rehab Adventure, As Gleaned From A Few Brochure Photographs
Tiger Woods is at the Pine Grove Behavioral Health & Addiction Services in Hattiesburg, Miss., where he is reportedly receiving treatment for sex addiction. What does that entail? Let's look at photos on the center's web site and find out....

Mississippi State Recruits Enjoy Ponies And/Or Strippers
It seems that quite a few high school football recruits made their campus visit to Mississippi State this weekend and a few mentioned enjoying something called "THE PONY." You don't think they're talking about Starkville's greatest strip club, do you?...

One-Fourth Of Lane Kiffin Rumor Turns Out To Be True
A Knoxville Lexus dealer confirms that a car they leased to Kiffin through the university was involved in an accident at some point in the past. Feel free to jump to whatever conclusions you deem appropriate. [WVLT]...

Scared Children Still Being Trampled By Angry Sheep, TV News Reports
Mutton bustin' is huge, according to some weird Fox News story that features terrifying video from Denver's National Western Stock Show. For example? "In a year-end post, sports blog Deadspin highlighted the year in mutton." We're tastemakers now! [MyFox]...

Moon of Venus: It Appears One Williams Sister Forgot To Wear Her Bloomers
This just in from a reader named Luke who's watching the Australian Open highlights on ESPN2: Thong? No unders? Huh? Just on espn2 moments ago.... Raw hiney, after the jump. (NSFWish?)...

Today In TMZish Sports: Kardashian Denies Engagement Rumor, Bobsled Lady Shows Keister, Rachel Uchitel Turning 35
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Verizon Chick, Revealed! Your Open Mailbag Tuesday
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering shower beers, heaven's database, Chocodiles, Verizon chick, Band Aids, and more....

Bills Hire Football's Answer To Tim Floyd
Chan Gailey, a man who lasted just three preseason games in Kansas City, will now have the honor of being fired by the Bills sometime next November, according to a guy on Adam Schefter's bowling team. [ESPN]...

It's Winter, So That Means Many Publications Will Rank Ladies Based On Physical Attributes
Like AskMen.com, which has released its annual "Top 99 Women" gallery. Find out which starlets campaigned for Obama (many), who has designed a tin condom and which semi-famous girl started her career as a Sports By Brooks gal. [AskMen.com]...

Last Night's Winner: Non-Number One Teams
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Kentucky, who will soon be number one thanks to Kansas State, who took care of the last number one. Everyone comes out ahead! (Except Texas.)...

That's Got To Be At Least A Yellow Card
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mike Greenberg Is Not The First Man To Accidentally Say "Martin Luther Koon"
It turns out the former mayor of Selma, Ala., Joseph Smitherman, also accidentally slurred his words but he probably didn't get half the grief poor Greeny received yesterday....

Mike Greenberg Would Like To Clarify Something
"I would never say anything like that," Greeny says of today's little slip-up, "not in public, or in private, or in the silence of my own mind ..." The silence of my own mind. Beautiful....

Nate Kaeding Suicide Joke Watch
Did you hear Nate Kaeding tried to commit suicide last night, but was unsuccessful because he's terrible at kicking footballs? Yes, San Diego's kicker is not a beloved man right now....unless you love terrible internet jokes. Then he's a godsend!...