g Page 5159 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Penguins Fans Crashes Stanley Cup Celebration
Have you ever dreamed of being on the ice with your favorite team as they hoist Stanley Cup, then heading back to the locker room for a champagne bath with your heroes? Go ahead! NHL security obviously won't stop you....
Mysterious, Gaseous Noise Invades The Buick Open
Unless CBS had a special microphone right next to his ass, it doesn't seem plausible that Woods could be the culprit. Yes, just a few seconds before blast-off, we see Woods loosening his hamstrings by kicking his legs up behind him, followed by the alleged fart, then a shot of he and caddy Steve Wil...
LenDale White's Revolutionary "No Tequila" Diet
Football fans have been marveling at the transformation of Titans' running back LenDale White, who has trimmed his previous bowling ball-like physique down to a svelte 228-pound Mack Truck. So how did he do it? By not eating worms, obviously....
The Legend Of Green Man
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
NHL's Horrible CBA Comes Back To Bite Them In The Ass
After years of the NHL screwing fans, a few owners are now trying to screw the league. No one weeps for Gary Bettman, because turnabout is foul play....
Steve Bartman Not Allowed To Die Quietly
ESPN is producing a documentary on Steve Bartman, finally giving the world the narrative no one asked for. It's sure to rip out the hearts of Cubbies fans, the players don't want it, and I'm guessing Bartman's not thrilled either....
Lingerie Football League More Like The NFL Than Expected
Go ahead, just try to tell me you aren't crossing off the days on your calendar until next month's debut of the Lingerie Football League. And while the action may not be top-shelf, they're keeping stats like the big boys....
Crosby's Still Single; Perhaps You Can Have Both
A Pittsburgh-area man has offered what clearly was once an engagement ring in exchange for $1000 in cash, or $1500 worth of Penguins tickets. Sorry, you lovelorn schmoes in the nosebleeds, they "must be good seats." [craigslist, via Slanch Report]...
You Mean Twitter <em>Isn't</em> Always The Best Place To Get Your News?
Confusion in Minnesota after Bernard Berrian tweets that Tarvaris Jackson is out for the year. He was just joking, though, to prove some kind of point. There would have been panic, had it not been about Tarvaris Jackson. [PFT]...
Andrea Peyser Shocked By Arrogant Athlete Tweets
Hah, just like how Moe and I are editing Deadspin today, the New York Post today let outrage queen columnist and sex goddess Andrea Peyser write a sports column! Sort of....
Cynthia Not The Only Thing "Notably Absent" From This Scenario, Big Media
TKACIK: how are we supposed to have an opinion on kate hudson and arod PAREENE: hahaha i don't know TKACIK: apparently the news here is that "very public smooching puts to rest rumors that Rodriguez, 33, and Hudson are just close friends" PAREENE: i know how often i had heard the rumor that they wer...
Breaking: The World Is a Magical, Wonderful Place, and Bucco Bruce Is Back
This year the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will once again wear the most garish and weird shade of salmon/orange, and Orlando Bloom will again intimidate opponents from their ridiculous helmets. Feel the magic!...
Oh Look, The X-Games Are On
So ESPN is still putting on this thing? I hope they're still giving the Great Outdoor Games a run for their ratings. Just kidding,* I'm actually totally transfixed by a dramatic video currently up on the X-Games site....
Be A Man, McMackin, Everyone's Living On Less These Days
Pay cuts are clearly part of the "new reality." Like this commodities trader will probably take a haircut on his guaranteed $100 million bonus, just because his bank owes taxpayers $44 billion. Then there is Greg McMackin....
Racist Redskins Owner Did Not Listen To His Wife, And Now He Is In Hell
Tomorrow's Washington Post magazine unearths some letters from the Redskins archives to convey "the innocence of this long ago era" when a racist named George Preston Marshall married an actress (pictured) who convinced him to move his football team south....
The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....
Finally, a No-Hassle Way to Receive Semen From a Dude That Looks Like This
What mother wouldn't want a puffy, bloated, thick-necked bouncing baby boy? Thanks to a sperm bank in Los Angeles, you can make your dream of birthing Ben Roethlisberger's baby without sleeping with Ben Roethlisberger come true....
If You Want a Ride In James Harrison's Smart Car, Ask For a Ride in James Harrison's Smart Car When He Hasn't Won the Super Bowl
James Harrison, who is reportedly afraid of one perfectly dignified method of transportation, showed up to training camp in in a tiny German clown car. He is driving it for the children!...
MORE BREAKING: Blogger Has Crush On Tim Tebow
This day was chock full of Tebow news, huh? Some of it was even covered on the definitive internet address for Tebowniacs, TimTeblog.com. I'll give you one guess who is behind TimTeblog and his name rhymes with Shan Danoff....
What I've Learned
"Just a reminder, Ben Cohen is Deadspin's summer intern," A.J. wrote in May. "His time at Deadspin... is part of his educational and life experience. So consider yourselves all mentors." Well, I thought then, this should be fairly catastrophic....