g Page 5244 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mike Piazza's Bacne Was Legendary And Suspicious
Mike Piazza's volcanic back acne has been discussed on this site before and now, cranky old writer Murray Chass is enlightening us with his own (deleted) tales of Piazza's zit-covered past....
God Lights The Way For Kurt Warner, Demands 15 Percent
Kurt Warner officially announced his new deal with the Cardinals on Wednesday, saying that it was God who told him to eschew the 49ers and return to Arizona....
Alex Rodriguez Needs Surgery, Out Until May
This hits just keep on coming—Doctors say that Alex Rodriguez will need surgery on his bum hip and will miss at least six weeks of the regular season, according to SportsCenter. [ESPNdeportes; translated from Spanish]...
Pat Burrell's Vaunted Bat May Actually Be Made Of Maple, Porn Star Says
No idea who Sophia Rossi is, but she's apparently slept with a lot of people. Like Tommy Lee, for instance. Oh, and ex-Phillie (sniffle) Pat Burrell, who she wasn't too impressed with....
Shaq Politely Requests Stan Van Gundy To Taste His Buttocks
"[ H]e's a master of panic, and when it gets time for his team to go in the postseason and do certain things, he will let them down because of his panic." [ESPN]...
The Florida Gators Will Bury You
The University of Florida is trying to get special permission from the state to turn their campus into a cemetery, so that they can accommodate all the lunatic alumni who want to be buried there....
Chris Paul Enjoys Some Ween
• Doin that stuff that you do: That's Dean Ween of the rock band Ween, hanging out with the New Orleans Hornets. There's nothing odd about that at all. [700 Level]...
Momentum Gathering For A College Football Playoff?
Mountain West Conference submits proposal to NCAA for an eight-team playoff to determine the BCS champion. NCAA's likely response: "We have a Mountain West Conference?" [USA Today]...
Hello, This Is President Obama Calling On Behalf Of Oregon State
Oregon State basketball coach Craig Robinson said he wouldn't be above using President Obama for recruiting purposes. Presumably he was kidding. Or considering how competitive Div. I basketball recruiting is, maybe not....
Sad Tale Of Missing Boaters Only Gets Sadder
The Coast Guard suspended its search for Corey Smith, Marquis Cooper and Will Bleakley last night and now begins the mourning, the healing and all the "what went wrong?" wondering....
Warner Loves And Leaves 49ers, Agrees To Makeup Sex With Cardinals
Two days after he was romanced by the 49ers via limo and private jet, Kurt Warner agreed to a two-year deal with the Cardinals, ESPN is reporting. What a slut....
Maurice Jones-Drew Might Be High Right Now
The lilliputian running back tells Dan Patrick that he's better than most of the running backs in the league. Oh, and he's also training in Egypt, you know, running the pyramids. What a rapscallion. [DP]...
Cyst May Force Alex Rodriguez To Cease
Alex Rodriguez is having a bang up year in 2009. The latest calamity? A bone cyst that may force him to bail on Team D.R. at the World Baseball Classic....
Maurice Clarett Creates Controversy, Even From The Slammer
So there seems to be some question on whether imprisoned former Bronco Maurice Clarett is actually writing his own blog. Is he using a ghost writer? What's the WiFi access situation in cell block D?...
The Tom Brady Body Metamorphosis Is Almost Complete
And here's one for the ladies. Or men who like pictures of shirtless athletes. Tom Brady has been spending this off-season rehabbing, marrying, and getting all Vin Diesel'd....
Entire State Of Maryland Roped Into Online Prank War
Remember the Yankee Stadium proposal prank where one goofball used a fake marriage proposal to humiliate his goofball friend? Well, 18 months later, revenge is a dish best served at a Maryland basketball game....
So Is Manny Ramirez A Dodger Or Not? (Update: Yes)
Depending on who you believe, a contract between Manny Ramirez and the Dodgers is "close", "imminent", "very close", "on the same page" or "a done deal." So why can't we just get this over with?...
Matt Vasgersian Christens The MLB Network With Its First F-Bomb
As the 2009 MLB season inches closer, you can see the fledgling MLB network really hitting its stride. Then last night likable host Matt Vasgersian said "fuck" into an open mic. Video after jump....
Soccer Fans Understand Priorities
• It's science: A totally reliable scientific survey reveals that European soccer fans prefer to see their lady wear their favorite team's kit instead of lingerie in the sack....
Cynthia Rodriguez Seems To Have Her Hands Full
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....