g Page 5437 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I'm Your Beer Bong Man, Stop Me As I'm Passing By
Last year on Opening Day, the Milwaukee Brewers faithful unveiled the beer pong orgy. This year they've made it a more intimate occasion, ensuring that each and every Brewers fan gets adequately blasted. Bringing the love back into binge drinking, now that's what it's all about....
What Is This, A Jafar Lookalike Contest?
• White Sox pitchers have some goofy goatees. [UmpBump] • A lot of wins in Philadelphia last night. [The 700 Level] • Remembering the Duke-UNLV game from 1991. [Rush The Court] • Beanie Wells wants that Heisman Trophy. [Waiting For Next Year] • Was Iona's basketball coach fired for marrying interrac...
NCAA Takes Rigid Anti-Hot Girl Stance
Never have I eaten at a Hooters Restaurant, although I always found it amusing that in Toledo there was a Hooters across the street from a Catholic grade school. (Fun infallible fact: Growing up, Katie Holmes went to school there.) I guess when one hears the food isn't that great, and the only gimmi...
Female Cyclist Convicted In BALCO Case For Perjury, Growing Her Own Prostate
Cycling stories are remarkably easy to skip over. So much, in fact, that I skipped over five cycling stories during my morning piddle. But cyclist Tammy Thomas getting convicted in a BALCO-related case on three counts of perjury, well, just try to gloss over this mental image....
Bill James's Steroid Accusations Have Higher Range Factor Than Canseco's
By now even most casual baseball fans know the story of Bill James. Baseball thought of stats one way, he thought of them another, using complex equations using the quadratic formula and integrals and grep. Easy enough. But perhaps Mr. James has another e=mc² up his sleeve when it comes to the way w...
Fiery NASCAR Crash Was The Work Of Scheming Terrorist Fire Ants
You always wondered if NASCAR drivers could turn right. Well, they can, but only once. The twisted remains of the vehicle you see here belonged to Michael McDowell, who rubbed the wall the wrong way (too hard, and straight on) in qualifying for this week's Samsung 500 at Texas Motor Speedway. But no...
About Last Night ...
What you missed, other than the diapered monkey in traffic ... • NBA: Nets playoff chances, fade to black. Detroit's bench handles New Jersey, 106-87. • MLB: Marcum zero, Smokey. Shaun Marcum retires 11 Sox in a row in Toronto's win over Boston. • Tennis: Andy Roddick loses to Nikolay Davydenko in s...
A Final Four Without One Shining Moment
England's the country with the silent "u" in a lot of words, like colour and parlour, right? Yet both Brits and Yanks spell it "Final Four." And what's the deal with Ovaltine? Britain's FA Cup is down to four (finally!), starting the semifinal madness with West Bromfield Albion and Portsmouth. Neith...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after discovering a new definition of nightmare fuel ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Jason (Hunchback) Estrada vs. Lance (The Boston Bleeder) Whitaker, in Lincoln, R.I. (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • NBA: San Antonio Spurs vs. Utah Jazz (8 p.m., ET), Dallas Mavericks vs. Los Angeles Lakers (10:30 ...
NCAA Pants Party: Final Four
All right, well, the games finally tip back off tomorrow, and it's about time: Without any major storyline — The Chalk Bracket just doesn't tend to inspire people — it's been a bit of a slog this week....
Posing As An Unknown ESPN Analyst Not The Way To Score Teens
That man to your right is ESPN college basketball analyst Mark Adams. Some of you may recognize him; most of you may not. That still didn't stop a 48-year-old New Jersey man from posing as Mark Adams in a failed attempt to shack up with a teenage girl....
The Best $187 Million Ever Spent
As Isiah Thomas and the Knicks attempt to finish up their disastrous season and wait to find out what new GM Donnie Walsh will do to rejuvenate the team, it'd probably be a good idea to make sure he doesn't read this Portfolio.com article on how much Isiah has cost the Knicks. The magazine estimates...
Somebody Better Grab That Guy
La New Bears SS Lin Zhi-Shen completely losing his mind after a close play at first in this Friday night's 5-5 tie with the Brother Elephants, charging the first base umpire at full speed from the dugout for about 40 feet and clobbering him with his shoulder and forearm. The Umpire, no small fellow,...
Perhaps The Duke Hatred Has Gone Too Far
Buried in a fun interview with Slate sports editor Josh Levin was this amazing tidbit about the Washington Wizards' promotional team:...
I'm Going To The Olympic Torch Relay ... What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
The San Francisco Board of Supervisors recently announced the route that the Olympic Torch will take through The City this coming Tuesday; a waterfront jaunt beginning at AT&T Park's McCovey Cove and ending at Justin Herman Plaza. Since I'm going to be in that neck of the woods anyway, I'm going to ...
The Usual Dash Of Dollar Dog Night Bacchanalia
Wednesday night at the Philadelphia Phillies Citizens Bank Park marked opening night and its first official "Dollar Dog NIght" promotion, which culminated in a Phillies 1-0 loss and, as usual, another mesmerizing display of shit-faced chaos courtesy of the revved-up monkeys. Ever since the Phillies...
Benny The Bull: Free At Last!
Displaying the kind of investigative moxie that could have kept us out of this whole Iraq mess, the Chicago Sun-Times dug into Thursday's Benny the Bull T-shirt assault story and discovered that Benny had been wrongly accused! On Thursday it was reported that Benny — the costumed mascot for the Bull...
Storming The Floor's Final Four Preview
Storming The Floor looks at the Final Four, which tips off tomorrow. Oh, and this South Park "photo" of the coaches is from Gutty Little Bruins, which is probably why John Calipari looks a little off....
Tiger Sure Has Been Roaring A Lot
• Tiger Woods has been awfully angry lately. [Food Court Lunch] • Can Kevin Durant and Celtics fans still be friends? [The Bleacher Report] • A look at the top seven quarterback prospects. [The Grand National Championships] • Soccer guys, throwin' games. [Deuce Of Davenport] • See, now the producers...