g Page 5470 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Like A Botox-Infused Ether Binge... Now With T.O.!
Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm headed to New Orleans for the All-Star madness last weekend. Well, actually, he was there for the Celebrity Game and the D-League All-Star Games. Over the next two days, we'll be telling his tales. Today: The Celebrity Game....

Lawrence Frank Might Have Been The Knight Mole
The Indiana-Purdue game tonight has the makings of a classic, with the surging Boilers heading into Bloomington to tick down the last dying days of Kelvin Sampson at Indiana. It's gonna be fun. And another subplot? How about Nets coach Lawrence Frank ... and Bob Knight?...

Non-Robotic Jason Taylor To Dance Like The Wind
You surely remember the monstrosity (and potential extinctive agent for humanity as a whole) that was the Jason Taylor Robot. (It responds to visual stimulation! Ack!) Well, the real life version — as much as a "real life version" can exist — is about to be cutting a proverbial rug....

From Octopussies To Go Wings Gonads
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

Your College Basketball Horoscope: Aries
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....

About Last Night
What you missed while preparing to run for president of Cuba ... • College basketball: Texas wins big against Texas A&M, which is going to cause you to pick them to reach the Final Four in your NCAA Tournament office pool, which is one of the reasons you're going to lose again. • NHL: Red Wings beat...

It Has Been A Decade Since We Lost Harry Caray
On this slow February sports day, the biggest news today is probably still the saddest: It has been 10 years today since Harry Caray shambled off this mortal coil....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a rewarding day of of molding young minds ... • College basketball: Syracuse at Louisville (7 p.m., ET); Texas A&M at Texas (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Gonzaga at San Diego (11 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. No white suits, please. • Cycling: Tour of California, stage 1, Sausalito to Santa Rosa, Ca...


Who's Sorry Now? Patriots Spygate Edition
So who does one believe in this Matt Walsh vs. Bill Belichick videotaping-the-Rams-Super-Bowl-walkthrough controversy? Is Walsh, as Belichick would have us believe, a rogue agent, out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct? Or is Belichi...

Media Approval Ratings: James Brown
Bill Simmons has implied that the success of CBS' pregame show over FOX's is because James Brown, Harvard grad (and former Atlanta Hawks draft pick), switched to the Eye in 2006. We would like to remind you all, by the way, that this guy hosted "America's Funniest Home Videos." Also, and we didn't r...

GSTF Book Tour Stop: Mattoon, Illinois
We are back in New York City for about 36 hours before hitting the East Coast swing, and we must confess that our stop in Mattoon, pictures of which can be found here, wasn't much like our other appearances. First off, it was in the lobby of a mall; we were right next to a woman selling sheep sweat...

The Memphis Tigers Will Not Tolerate Spelling Errors
So here's a stark reminder that even when things are seemingly going perfectly, — as in 25-0 — it can all turn horribly wrong in an instant. As you've no doubt heard by now, Memphis saved its unbeaten season on Saturday with a 79-78 win at UAB; on a three-point play within the final 10 seconds of t...

Blackhawks, Brawls And Brewskies
Since tedious analysis is the stuff of "power rankings," each Monday NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski uses a form of universal expression: Success in terms of beer. Before we get to the fury of fists that was Oilers/Canucks, welcome to The Brewmeister Ratings......

A Night At The Roxbury, Stanford-Style
The third guy in the video is clearly 6'8" Junior Lawrence Hill....

Where Meaningless (But Mildly Entertaining) All-Star Games Happen
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who spent most of the weekend wearing Superman pajamas and recreating Dwight Howard's award-winning dunks on a Nerf hoop. When he's not wearing blue tights with little red undies on the outside, he can be found practicing his dunk face at Basketbawful. Enjoy...

About Last Night
What you missed while searching for Rollo Tomase ... • NBA: Eastbound and down ... Ray Allen, LeBron tame the West in a game you watched from start to finish. Right? • NASCAR: Ryan Newman prevails at Daytona 500. The only story you'll see linked here today with the words "restrictor-plate racetrack"...

Happy Presidents Race
It's been a great opening stint of Weekend Daddy Duty for me, despite my many unplanned trips to Deadspin future. As a result of my poor choice of journalism as a career I'm now at the office and will be through the rest of the evening covering shootings and such in D.C. but luckily I'm off tomorro...

Brett Myers is Full of Trickery
When not occupied with domestic abuse or calling reporters retards, Phillies pitcher Brett Myers fancies himself quite the mischievous clubhouse presence. Here, he's gotten manager Charlie Manuel, some beat reporters and GM Ruben Amaro in on the act of fooling pitcher Kyle Kendrick into thinking he...