gi Page 542 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Great Spirit, Wrong Olympics
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tailpipe: "Let's Go For The Pole Today"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Prodigiously Endowed Pirate Pitcher Jim Bibby Is Now Dead (Update)
From an emailer: "I was disappointed to find that you made no mention of the passing of Jim Bibby on today's page......

Your Tape-Delaympics Open Thread
Topics for discussion: Speedskating, the mentally ill man "infatuated" with Joe Biden who got within meters of the vice president at the Opening Ceremony, Rick Reilly on curling (forget Plaschke; this was the most inevitable column of the Olympics), double-corking....

Predictably, Bill Plaschke Has Something Stupid To Say About Lindsey Jacobellis
Well, this was probably the most inevitable column of the Olympics: Bill Plaschke, harshing Lindsey Jacobellis's mellow....

Peter King Is Already Manufacturing Dumb Storylines For the 2010 Season
"The logical question for the Saints: Is all this celebrating and spate of parades ... going to go on so long that they affect the Saints' ability to repeat in 2010?" That question leads the league in stupid. [SI.com]...

Saints Begin A Losing Battle Against Bandwagon Allegations
The Times-Picayune put out a call for these fans that were joined by Reggie Bush on Sunday. Problem: it's Brody Jenner and his L.A. posse. [NO T-P]...

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's The Next Longhorn Girl?
To commemorate the emergence of Arielle Whatsherface, the new hot, young teenager that collapsed the internet with her winsome good looks, the Cultural Oddsmaker column makes a brief return....

The Nonexistent Fan Advocate's Dilemma
Andrew Feinsten pens a column for SB Nation about the identity crisis suffered by many bloggers in this ever-changing world of new media. Specifically: what is he?...

Longhorn Girl Arielle Angelovich: A Lesson In Instant Internet Fame
How does one go from anonymous math major to a sought-after interweb celebrity in the span of 40 minutes? All it takes is some fortuitous timing, a bit of fate, and a bright orange t-shirt....

Well, We Found Longhorn Girl
A helpful classmate tipped us off to the young lady's name, and Deadspin Investigative Services sprung into action. There turned out to be quite the paper trail; follow it with us, won't you?...

The Curious Case Of Longhorn Girl
Who is this comely lass with the burnt-orange hair and why was she strategically placed behind the Kansas bench last night? Was she there to distract Jayhawk players from their defensive assignments or as ESPN's Valentine to lonely basketball fans?...

Reggie Bush's Self-Proclaimed Jump-Off Would Like To Show You Some Proof
The woman who claims she came between Reggie and Kim Kardashian has released a video of her in a bikini at Bush's home. Also, she's gotten a creepily Kim K-like makeover. Fatal Attraction stuff, after the jump....

Trevor Winter: The Moonlight Graham Of Terrible NBA Players
Winter reminisces with Asylum about his five minutes in the NBA. "You have five fouls to give," Flip Saunders said before a game against Shaq, "and for every foul you don't use, we'll fine you $1,000." Mission accomplished. [Asylum]...

The Golden Age Of The Super Bowl. Your SUPERBOWLOROO
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Louis Farrakhan's Grandson Picks Himself Up By His Bootstraps And Self-Reliantly Dunks On Guy's Head
Here's Virginia guard Mustapha Farrakhan, grandspawn of the leader of the Nation of Islam, hereby dubbed the Mutha Plane, stuffing some poor N.C. State fellow through the hoop. [YouTube, via Steinberg]...

Coach Who (Accidentally) Nailed Girl In Face With Volleyball Forced To Apologize Again
This is Southern Regional High School girl's volleyball coach Eric Maxwell, whom you probably remember from this memorable episode, which occurred earlier this month. He apologized immediately after it happened. Unfortunately, he gained aa new audience yesterday....

Gilbert Arenas Addresses Gun Incident With Very, Very Serious Op-Ed
"I have done a number of things wrong recently," Arenas writes for tomorrow's Washington Post op-ed page. Chief among them: sullying his good name by writing for the Washington Post op-ed page. [Washington Post, via FamousDC]...

The One Where Some Vindictive Lady Sends Us Pictures Of Matthew Stafford Making Out With His Girlfriend
Due to that awful stomach virus going around, I was unable to get to Deleted Scenes on Friday. Thanks for your concern. So this week you get a double-shot of unseemly Deadspin Deleted Scenes today and Friday....

Nutty Protesters Going After Hockey Now, Apparently
Westboro Baptist Church, best known for disrupting soldiers' funerals and being generally batshit insane, are currently — at this very moment! — picketing outside the Stars/Coyotes game in Dallas. Because nothing saith "abomination unto the Lord" like Marty Turco's goaltending....