gi Page 608 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brandon Jacobs Is Not Impressed With The Titans
We admire Giants touchdown sponge Brandon Jacobs, not only because he went to Southern Illinois, but because he's making every person we know who drafted Tiki Barber in fantasy football want to kill themselves. (Barber still has one touchdown this year.) We admire him because he's a rookie second-...

Eli Manning Would Just Like To Go Home Now
After yesterday afternoon's installment in the weekly drama of the Eli Manning Swath Of Destruction, one thing seems rather clear: The Giants quarterback just doesn't seem to be enjoying football very much. This probably shouldn't be much of a surprise, considering his father and older brother have ...

Taking Down The Field Goal Posts: Fight On To Glendale
• USC 44, Notre Dame 24. I hate to be the one to point it out, but twice, Notre Dame has played Top 10 teams, and twice, they have lost by 20 or more. Obviously, this will not stop a BCS bowl game from happily taking them (supposedly, the Sugar Bowl is in love with the Irish), so there's not really ...

Notre Dame Has A Vague Recollection Of Playing A Good Football Team
The last time Notre Dame played a team that's currently ranked in the Top 25, they lost by nearly four touchdowns. Since then, despite feasting on teams like Stanford, North Carolina, Air Force and Army, they've got themselves back into the national championship picture. On the outside, about-to-be-...

Happy Thanksgiving, Bird Brains
Well, we figure most of you have skipped out of the office for the long weekend, so we figured we might as well do the same; it's off for Thanksgiving for us now. We were considering doing one of those "We're Thankful For ..." stories, that pointed out all the Crazy and Wacky things in the world of ...

Gilbert Arenas Appears To Update His Blog Regularly
As True Hoop has pointed out and we feel obliged to remind you of once again, Wizards singular voice of reason Gilbert Arenas has his own blog, and it's every bit as wonderful as you might have suspected it would be. Here's a few selections from the last couple of days:...

Giants Look Anything But Sharp And Dapper
Among the many reasons for Giants coach Tom Coughlin to feel like a bit of a doofus last night, the fact that he was wearing the standard coachwear of a blue poncho festooned with the soul of a windbreaker, while Jack Del Rio finally found a way to not look like a meathead in his rather sharp suit. ...

Hello, Jacksonville, And Welcome Back To The National Stage
After a couple weeks of rather wretched Monday Night Games, we've got a halfway decent one tonight, with the Giants, frantically trying to hold off Tony Romo and the Cowboys in the NFC East, traveling to the urban mecca that is Jacksonville to face the Jaguars....

NBA Roundup: The Insane Ramblings Of Phil Jackson
Notes from Sunday's action in the National Basketball Association:...

Dwight Howard, Enjoying His Youthful Years
You know how we know that the Orlando Magic's Dwight Howard is just starting to break the ceiling of NBA stardom? He's hanging out with porn stars. Specifically, amply bosomed former gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey, who tells the story of meeting Howard in a Luke Is Back, apparently a well-read...

Meow Meow Meow Meow
Every Day Should Be Saturday, whose daily brilliance might be what we'll miss most about college football once it's gone, directs us to this clip from last night's West Virginia-Pittsburgh game, in which quarterback Pat White does his best impersonation of Halle Berry in Catwoman. It's one thing to ...

You Need Sunglasses To Watch This Team Play
College basketball is slowly tipping off, with a bunch of high-profile schools taking turns writing a check to places like Savannah State and Florida A&M and letting the backups get some work in while cruising to uninspired 25-point victories. (Our Illini begin this process tonight against old nemes...

NFL Roundup: Strange Thoughts In East Rutherford
News And Notes From Week 10 in the NFL....

NFC Supremacy Is Sort Of On the Line
There's a switch on Rex Grossman's back that goes from "Spectacular" to "Scott Mitchell," and it's not a dimmer switch. It's one or the other. So far this season, he's been Christ-like, or he's been Train Wreck Rex....

Wedgies Vs. Crack
Too few headlines feature the word "wedgie," and I thank Whittier Vocational Technical High School and the school administrators for helping to rectify that. A few players on the the football team are accused of giving wedgies to younger team members. And since that violates the school's hazing po...

An Excuse To Break Out Our Ditka Wine!
If an alien race ever decided to attack us, we know of one sure-fire way to hold off the destruction. Just send this ad into space. It's sure to render potential invaders hopelessly befuddled, so that they veer off toward a stable planet, like Saturn. Heck, we live here, and we're frightened by this...

Suddenly, Louisville Football Is Important
It's rare in something as storied as college football that you have a moment that is obviously the most important moment in a school's football history, but that's what happened in Louisville last night, with the Cardinals beating West Virginia 44-34 and putting them on a track to play in the Fies...

Look, An Important Weekday College Football Game!
We don't often get to write about important college football games here — that's usually MJD's job on the weekends — but we have a rare one tonight: A Thursday game between two undefeated teams that could very well decide who plays in the Fiesta Bowl for the BCS "Championship" on January 8. (January...

Brady Quinn, Friend To The Gays, Or Just Idol?
In the newest issue of Interview magazine, Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn, handsome man of leisure, spreads 'em and smiles big in a big photo feature. Brady looks all playful and chiseled and Notre Dame-y, we guess. You might notice, when you look at the pictures, that Brady is shot rather, oh, ...

Bored Cadets Remake "Rudy"
From the invaluable and irreplaceable Every Day Should Be Saturday comes this video, made by cadets at the Naval Academy to pump up their team — we guess — for the game against Notre Dame on Saturday. We're really not sure what we can do with this; should we, like, send them a Penthouse or something...