go Page 435 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dimitri Payet Is On A Roll
West Ham United took a 2-1 lead against Crystal Palace into the intermission after a Dimitri Payet free kick that rendered Wayne Hennessey completely useless. Payet’s been on fire of late; he had an even more sick free kick earlier this week against Russia....

At Least Man City Is Giving Bournemouth Supporters Something Interesting To Watch
Poor AFC Bournemouth. For those of us who hitched our stars to the Cherries before this season instead of, uh, Leicester, it’s been less-than-fun. (Not awful, mind you; being clear of relegation is nice.) At least supporters get to see some fun soccer from the opponents, as displayed today when Manc...

Tiger Woods To Miss Masters, Again
Tiger Woods will be absent from Augusta National again as the four-time winner is simply too injured to compete, he announced tonight on his website. Let’s remember better times for Tiger:...

The Portland Jail Blazers: An Appreciation
Honey, you can’t make it to the top without at some point scraping the cold, hard bottom. For the Portland Trail Blazers, their highest high (not a pun) came during the 1999-2000 NBA season, which they rode all the way to the Western Conference finals for the second year in a row, and almost made it...

Man Achieves Adequacy
On April 1, in the Year of Our Lord 2016, a man finally achieved adequacy. We gave him a trophy, and surprise-interviewed him about this historic achievement. ...

Here's DJ Khaled's Motivational Playground Workout
DJ Khaled not only knows how to expel excellent life advice, but, here, also proves you don’t need expensive gym equipment to get in a good workout. Just hit up a local playground, push the kiddies aside and get to work on that medicine ball....

Glimmering Polycottons, Knee-Length Shorts & Lightly Flashy Workwear at Thursday's Basketball Games
Amid an endless stream of predictable and boring red carpet style choices during awards season—Jennifer Lawrence in Dior, Charlize Theron in Dior, Julianne Moore in Tom Ford or Calvin Klein, the list goes on—there is a genre of marquee event workwear that Hollywood, with its endless stream of well-p...

Mirotic, Mirotic, Put Your Hands All Over My Body
WMBC’s evening news presented some highlights of last week’s Knicks-Bulls game, and anchor Mark Fontes of the New York City-area independent station struggled a bit with a certain unfamiliar Montenegrin pro basketballer’s name....

Jason Chimera Jabs Shayne Gostisbehere With His Stick
Jason Chimera waited for the right opportunity to deliver a cheap shot on Flyers defenseman Shayne Gostisbehere after the whistle in the second period of Wednesday night’s game. The Capitals winger made sure the nearby linesman wasn’t looking before he put the butt-end of his stick into Gostisbehere...

Please Be Careful When Reaching For A Steph Curry Autograph
Or else you might end up at the bottom of a big pile of rabid Jazz fans....

Here Are The New Running Shoes Adidas Desperately Tried To Prevent You From Seeing
This morning, a warm and sunny day in Chicago, somebody at the Chicago Tribune noticed a commercial being filmed in the middle of the very busy downtown, replete with fake snow. Being that the Chicago Tribune is a newspaper that covers the goings on in Chicago, an assignment editor sent a photograph...

I Wish I Was This Dog In A Baby Carrier At The Phillies Game
Look at this goddamn dog chilling in his baby carrier at a Phillies spring training game. I have never been more jealous of another living being....

Duncan Keith Given Match Penalty, Ejected For Hitting Charlie Coyle In The Face With His Stick
Blackhawks defenseman Duncan Keith was given a match penalty—and therefore automatically ejected—after hitting Wild forward Charlie Coyle in the face with his stick....

Dimitri Payet Is Too Good At Free Kicks
Seriously. You shouldn’t be able to score from this far out:...

Jim Nantz Appears To Be Insane
In attempt to teach you what real pain is, Golf Digest decided to let Jim Nantz go Kerouac on everyone’s ass. You should never expose yourself to Jim Nantz’s stream-of-consciousness musings, but I would like to briefly draw your attention to his deeply disturbing anecdote about toast:...

Intense Hockey Referee Is A Good Referee
Referee Wes McCauley needed a replay review to confirm a questionable Melker Karlsson goal during last night’s Kings-Sharks game, and he went all out when making the call:...

Carlos Gomez Homers, Dabs, Shuts Down Rob Dibble
If you had to bet on one guy dabbing after crushing a spring-training home run, Carlos Gomez would have been a very safe play:...

Little Kid Runs Onto The Court To Hug Carmelo Anthony
Little man here must live in a state of perpetual basketball disappointment: his hometown team is the New Orleans Pelicans, and he likes Carmelo Anthony. So if Carmelo Anthony is in town and he has tickets in the lower bowl, he’s going to sprint onto the court and get a hug, dadgummit....