go Page 434 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ernie Els Started The Masters With A 7-Putt, And It Was Excruciating
You know that sickly feeling you get you’re watching a particularly violent scene in a horror movie that just goes on for way too long? That’s how watching Ernie Els seven-putt his way to a sextuple bogey on the first hole of the Masters will make you feel....
Rory McIlroy Is A Shark
The following is excerpted from the New York Times bestseller Slaying the Tiger: A Year Inside the Ropes on the PGA Tour. The paperback version was released this week, and is available here....
The New <i>Star Wars</i> Trailer For <i>Rogue One</i> Looks Cool, I Guess?
If you thought we could get through two consecutive months without some big to-do about Star Wars, you were wrong! The teaser trailer for Rogue One reveals a whole new standalone story from the galaxy far, far away wherein a brand new heroine named Jyn Erso—or that’s what it sounds like, give me a b...
The Padres Almost Scored A Run This Season
The early days of the baseball season are fun ones, because the smallest streak projects out to historical greatness. Rockies rookie Trevor Story is the first player in baseball history to homer in his first three games, and will surely finish his year with 216 dingers. Starlin Castro now owns the r...
RIP Merle Haggard, The Only Man Who Could Live Up To The Name
Ah, Christ, Merle Haggard died, shit. On his 79th birthday. He was one of the greats. You know this for two reasons. First off, objectively, he just was, an acerbic and jovially iconoclastic teller of hard truths and winsome lies, a prickly charmer and actual outlaw (he once attended a Johnny Cash c...
Dog Hockey Is The Best Hockey
There are no Canadian hockey teams in this year’s NHL playoffs, and I’m sure a lot of Canadian hockey fans are very sad about that. The good news is that I have a special message for my bummed-out friends in the north:...
The Warriors Are Ready For The Regular Season To End
After a 124-117 overtime loss to the Timberwolves, the Golden State Warriors have lost two out of their last three, and looked rough getting there. They turned the ball over a season-high 24 times, saw Minnesota attempt 28 more free throws, and allowed the T-Wolves enough open looks that they shot a...
Giancarlo Stanton Sent This Justin Verlander Pitch To Goddamn Mars
Justin Verlander didn’t allow a hit through five innings to the Miami Marlins this evening, but once Miami woke up (presumably because Barry Bonds dispensed a few pieces of sage wisdom), they really started hitting the dogpiss out of the ball. ...
Get Some Onion Goggles, Ya Babies
The quickest way to improve your cooking—besides throwing a stick of butter into everything—is to throw onions into everything. Onions work with every cuisine, they’re versatile, and they taste amazing. However much onion a recipe calls for should be doubled, at least, no matter the recipe....
Read The Laughable Lawsuit Patriots Fans Filed Against The NFL Over Ball-Deflation Punishment
It is a pleasant surprise that this lawsuit, filed today by New England Patriots fans against the NFL, is not scrawled in crayon on the back of a Papa Gino’s placemat, or smeared in shit on the wall of a truck-stop bathroom. But then you read it, and it might as well be: it accuses the NFL, in punis...
Check Out These Videos Of Nova Fans Losing Their Shit At Kris Jenkins's Buzzer-Beater
For some reason, fans decide to film their reactions and the reactions of those around them in potentially thrilling and decisive sports moments. This is maybe not the best way to be a fan, but it does provide us with a great treasure trove of fans ripping their jerseys off and getting consoled by t...
Check Out The Absurd Backheel Volley This French Guy Scored
Boy, do these dudes in France’s lower tiers know how to score wondergoals. After last week’s backheel-to-overhead kick golazo, we now have Jordan Blondel upping the stakes by sizing up a long ball from his own half, and while backpedaling towards goal, kicking the ball in with his heel. From outside...
Gonzalo Higuaín Loses His Mind After Getting Red Card
I’m getting the feeling that Gonzalo Higuaín didn’t exactly agree with this referee’s decision. Though maybe shoving everyone on the pitch—including many of his own teammates—is just how he expresses internal disappointment....
A Brief Guide To The Panama Papers
A big, bold news story, speaking truth to power. You feel compelled to pay attention, but also feel your eyes glazing over trying to process it all. In terms of sheer scale, the Panama Papers leak is a lot to digest, even for professional news digesters. So a summary for the lazy: the politically po...
Mike Francesa Forced To Order Wrestlemania For His Sons, Remains Crestfallen
Mike Francesa has two sons: Jack and the dreaded Harrison. This is the story of how they manipulated him into ordering last night’s Wrestlemania on pay-per-view:...
Finland's Brilliant Baby Boxes Are Finally Coming To Countries That Need Them, Like Ours
Having a new baby sounds, to put it lightly, terrifying. I imagine this is especially true at first, when particularly helpless infants are sent home with necessarily inexperienced parents. Baby-wise friends and family members can help, but it’s still pretty dangerous to put a total neophyte—like yo...
Steph Curry Is Some Kind Of Jedi Or Wizard Or Some Shit
At this point, there’s really nothing Steph Curry can do on the court that would genuinely shock anyone. Perhaps aware of this fact, Curry turned last night’s postgame interview into a highlight of its own....
The Silicon Valley Guys Who Turned Around The Warriors Don't Believe In Their Ridiculous Luck
Friday night, in the third quarter of a home game against the Boston Celtics, Steph Curry started throwing up threes with no more trouble than a drunk trying to fall onto a sofa. Six for six he was, the kind of eruption that literally changes the dimensions of the game: He buried one trey from just ...
Franck Ribéry Overhead Kick Shows The Frenchman's Still Got It
It’s quite a morning for stunning goals by French legends, as Franck Ribéry scored his second goal of the Bundesliga season on an incredible overhead kick off the rebound from Frankfurt keeper Lucas Hradecky....
What Happens When Sports Fans Know As Much Gossip As Sportswriters?
Last week, celebrity gossip website Fameolous posted a video that it said showed Los Angeles Laker Nick Young admitting to cheating on his fiancée, pop star Iggy Azalea. It further claimed that the video was recorded by Young’s teammate, D’Angelo Russell....