hi Page 1040 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mike Trout Gets Way Up To Rob A Grand Slam
Hello, it’s time once again for a check-in with Mike Trout, that guy who continues to be the best player in baseball despite wasting away on a crap-ass Angels roster....
Juan Martín Del Potro Upsets Novak Djokovic, Gets Incredible Hug
Juan Martín del Potro’s years of injuries have dropped his once-top-five ranking down to #141, but the Argentine showed the skills that marked his early career in downing the world’s #1 player, Novak Djokovic, in straight sets—a result that earned del Potro a lovely embrace and some words that broug...
Ichiro Joins 3,000 Hit Club With Triple
Ichiro Suzuki, the true Hit King, joined Paul Molitor as the only member of the 3,000 Hit Club to do so with a triple when he did so in the top of the seventh inning today in Denver....
Orlando Pace Thanks St. Louis In Hall Of Fame Speech; NFL Leaves That Part Out Of Its YouTube Upload
St. Louis football fans who hoped to see a shout-out from the Rams’ newest Hall-of-Famer Orlando Pace might have been disappointed if they watched the version of his speech uploaded to the NFL’s YouTube channel. While the other inductees’ speeches from last night’s event are presented unedited by th...
Miguel Sano Pop-Up Hits Roof, Gets Caught
Twins third baseman Miguel Sano earned a dubious honor today, becoming the first player to ever hit the roof of the Tampa Bay Rays stadium in fair territory:...
J.D. Martinez Nails Jay Bruce At The Plate To End Game
Jay Bruce tested J.D. Martinez, and that was a bad idea. Down a run, with two men on with two outs in the ninth inning, the Mets’ Travis d’Arnaud hit a grounder through the right side. Bruce steamed around third, and Tigers right fielder Martinez came up throwing:...
Giancarlo Stanton Just Jerked The Mightiest Dong Of The Season
Are you sitting down? Okay....
These Archery Outfits Are Dope
In some Olympic sports, the competitors are clad in nothing but little tiny swimsuits. In some, they are covered head-to-toe in protective gear. There’s a wide spectrum of outfits, from cycling’s skintight spandex to boxing’s obtrusive headgear, but one group of athletes stands above all challengers...
The True Story Of The Fall Of Rome Is A Hell Of Lot Better Than The Hollywood Version
If you were ever forced to sit through a high school or college history class, you probably heard the story of the fall of the Roman Empire. At best, you remember that savage, fur-clad barbarians poured through the gates of a rotting, decrepit empire and snuffed out the light of civilization for a t...
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Padres Chairman Continues To Shit On Players Who Didn't Live Up To His Expectations
There are a lot of big dumb assholes involved in major league baseball. This guy, for example. For whatever reason, Padres executive chairman Ron Fowler, an old man nobody had ever heard of until a few months ago, has decided that 2016 is the year in which he attempts to become the biggest, dumbest ...
Chaunté Lowe Demonstrates The High Art Of Balance
Physics figures large in high jump. Converting horizontal energy into vertical energy, torque, angle, and center of mass. But the most important concept, the one that’s helped Chaunté Lowe make four Olympic teams and set the American record, is balance. ...
DeAngelo Williams' Teammates Pranked Him With A Bunch Of Dang Balloons
I wish someone would prank me like this....
Coco Crisp Leaps For Topsy-Turvy Home Run Robbery
Ji-Man Choi has spent this evening’s game hitting the daylights out of the baseball. He dinged a solo dong to right center in the second inning, then followed it up with a three-run shot to the right field corner....
Handball Is The Best Olympic Sport You Don't Know Shit About
The United States has never won an Olympic handball medal, and neither the men’s or women’s team has even qualified since 1996, which means that NBC probably won’t cover the sport much over the next three weeks. This is a shame, because handball is the shit....
Weak-Ass Bureaucrats To Heroic Philly Citizens: Stop Turning Dumpsters Into Swimming Pools
The wise and proud residents of Cedar Street in Philadelphia, Penn. recently threw themselves a block party. Understanding that the party would be greatly improved by the presence of a swimming pool, they participated in the great American tradition of doing whatever the hell you want. Which is to s...
I'm Inspired By This Popcorn Vendor
Innovation is real and strong and it’s my friend....
Get A Load Of This Heinous, Game-Losing Wild Pitch
With the Miami Marlins leading the Cubs by two runs heading into the bottom, Don Mattingly brought in A.J. Ramos. Immediately, everything went to shit....