hi Page 1502 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ichiro Traded To The Yankees
Yikes. The YES Network's Jack Curry reports that the Yankees have traded for Ichiro Suzuki. The Mariners will receive minor league starter D.J. Mitchell and reliever Danny Farquhar. The Yankees are currently in Seattle, so expect him to don the pinstripes road grays against his old team tonight. We ...

How Curt Schilling's Video Game Company Was Doomed From The Start
Boston magazine has a lengthy post-mortem of the late, lamented 38 Studios, which went under earlier this year amid unpaid employees and defaulted loans and federal investigations and one very angry Rhode Island governor. After reading it, you may not feel any more sympathy for Curt Schilling (save ...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Kansas City Chiefs
Some people are fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Shaq Thompson Returns To Football After The Worst Minor League Career Imaginable
There is something unique about hitting a baseball: the assumption of failure. A batter can fail at his job two out of three times, and do it for 15 years, and he'll make the Hall of Fame. Baseball is a sport designed for only occasional success, even for its most skilled practitioners....

Detroit Lions CB Aaron Berry Arrested and Charged With Assault, Tweets Detroit Lions Official Account
The Detroit Lions sure are embracing their role as the NFL's latest collection of bad boys. Aaron Berry was arrested and charged with three counts of assault for "brandishing a firearm" Saturday and we can thank the Detroit Lions twitter feed (via Adam Schefter) for filling us in....

Will Foursquare Take Down Joe Paterno Statue Check-In?
As Rodney Erickson struggles with the most important decision ever in the history of Penn State, we're left to wonder when will foursquare tear down its Joe Paterno Statue check-in. As everyone knows, the foursquare page has become the symbol of this social media statuary controversy and emotions a...

Patrick Kane Says He Doesn't Have A Drinking Problem
We're no strangers to Patrick Kane, with evidence of the Kaner's antics often finding its way into our tips box. Most recently, there were rumblings that the Chicago Blackhawks were looking into getting Kane some professional help in order to deal with his boozing ways....

Feeding Seagulls Laxatives Ends Exactly As Expected
This is terrible. If you've ever had a bird shit on you, you know this. It once happened to me, actually—my fault for going to Shea Stadium....

Here Is The Most Insane Review Of <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em> You Will Ever Read
Do you remember those kids in your college literature course who were the absolute worst during discussions? The ones who would make completely off-the-wall statements about even the most straightforward pieces of literature. The ones who would say shit like, "Actually, I think Bartleby The Scriven...

Every Winner Of The Ernest Hemingway Look-Alike Contest, In Descending Order Of How Much They Look Like Ernest Hemingway
Every year, on the third Saturday in July, Sloppy Joe's Bar in Key West hosts the Hemingway Look-Alike Society's Hemingway Look-Alike Contest. The 2012 champion will be named tomorrow. We went through 31 years of winners, and ranked them all on how much they look like Ernest Hemingway, starting with...

Say Hello To Offensive Coordinator Brett Favre
According to a pair of reports out of Mississippi, Brett Favre is expected to soon be named offensive coordinator for Oak Grove High School in Hattiesburg. It's not yet official, but the school board will meet on Monday night, Favre will meet with the Warriors' head coach within the next week....

Bryce Harper's Beautiful Swing Doesn't Need Any Fixing
Recently, Yahoo's Jeff Passan wrote a piece on MLB wunderkinds Bryce Harper and Mike Trout, and he had this to say about Harper's game:...

Shaq Thompson Update: Shaq Has An At-Bat Where He Doesn't Strike Out!
Red Sox prospect and UW football recruit Shaq Thompson is putting together one of the all-time great stat sheets. Coming into today, Thompson was 0-for-37, with 36 strikeouts in his short career. (He'll start at safety for the Huskies in the fall.) We're committed to providing you the latest Shaq Th...

Keyshawn Johnson Starts His Own Wine Label
When you're at the store and need to pick up some wine for a meaningful occasion, are you really going to be perusing the selections and be stopped in your tracks by a Keyshawn Johnson vintage? The former NFL wide receiver and current ESPN analyst sure hopes so. He's started his own wine label, call...

Walk-Off Home Run From Cody Ross Leaves Hawk Harrelson Silent For Over A Minute
Noted blatherer Hawk Harrelson is really only at a loss for words when the White Sox managed to inexplicably blow a lead late in the game and lose. For example, maybe Chicago is playing at Fenway and about to pull off an efficient 1-0 win thanks to eight solid innings from starting pitcher Jose Qu...

Noted Pirates Fan Captain Jack Sparrow Is At Today's Twins-Orioles Game
Notorious international criminal Captain Jack Sparrow is in, of all places, Minneapolis today, and while his favorite team may be Pittsburgh's Bucs it appears he has a soft spot for American League ball as well—proving that even terrorism, grand theft, and murder need a day off. It leads us to ask ...

Dennis Rodman's Father Had 29 Children By 16 Women And Is Actually Named Philander
Dennis Rodman's father, an air force pilot, abandoned his family when Dennis was just three years old. He moved to the Philippines and opened a bar. (He now runs Rodman's Rainbow Obamaburger restaurant.) After playing an exhibition game in Manila yesterday, Dennis finally met Philander Rodman Jr., s...

Michael Vick On The Eagles: "I Think We Have A Chance To Develop A Dynasty"
Nobody wins the Super Bowl in July quite like the Philadelphia Eagles. Maybe that's what Michael Vick was really getting at when he said this yesterday in an interview with CSN Philly:...

Rory McIlroy "Nearly Decapitates" Spectator With Errant Drive At 15th Hole
Rory McIlroy's wacky season (claiming the #1 ranking, but missing the U.S. Open cut) continued today at Royal Lytham and St. Annes as he crept his way onto the leaderboard only to find his drive at the par four 15th go far to the right, drilling a spectator in the skull. (Never a publication to en...
