hi Page 1626 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Breaking: Bryce Harper Does Something That's Pretty Cool And Won't Offend Anyone
The Chosen One evidently has a habit for sneak-attack leap-frogging his teammates. Those contact lenses are committing a double miracle: a career turnaround, and actual, on-the-record inoffensive behavior. Praise Harper!...
NFL Is Surprisingly Uncool With Its Players Appearing In Uniform Advertising "Pornstar Exxxtravaganza"
To be fair, those five players are Brandon Flowers, Eric Berry, Kareem Jackson, Jacoby Ford, and Major Wright, and we're willing to bet most potential patrons of the Pornstar Exxxtravaganza wouldn't have identified them all. They needed their uniforms....
Nationals Unveil "Iconic, Defining Element," A Hamburger You Can Get At The Mets Game
Nationals Park is clean, cozy, semi-convenient, and all-around quite serviceable as a major league ballpark. But nothing there grabs you like PNC Park's view, or AT&T Park's bay, or Minute Maid Park's stupid hill. Nationals Park is a forgettable place to watch a forgettable team. But not any more! (...
Emotional Story Inspires ESPN Anchor To Quote Mariah Carey
There's a lot going on here. A lot of stimuli, you know. Let's break it down....
These Newborns Have Been Bruins Fans For About As Long As Most Adult Bostonians
We kid, we kid. Obviously there are no parallels to be drawn between the litter at this area hospital, brainwashed from their first days to support the local hockey club, and grown Bruins fans, who made the informed choice themselves, all coincidentally around the spring of 2008....
Minor League Team Hands Out LeBron Championship Rings, And Yes, They're Non-Existent
You know you done goofed when they're making fun of you in Peoria. The Cubs single-A affiliate was planning on honoring the 1990s Chicago Bulls teams on Thursday night, but they decided on an additional giveaway....
Dirk Nowitzki Dance Party!
Behold Dirk Nowitzki: America's favorite German, the NBA Finals MVP, the man who made being a mostly-unknown national hero look so easy, and the man who made a one-legged step-back jumper look even easier. But! We've unearthed one weakness. Dirk Nowitzki is a rather tortured booty-dropper....
Tim Donaghy On Game 6: Wandering Eyes
As he did for us last year, Tim Donaghy, a contributing writer for The Sports Connection (www.DannyB.info) and a former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, will review the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarte...
Premature Jocularity At Home Plate Costs Would-Be Winners State
One young man thought he was coming home with the winning run in extra innings of a Connecticut State Championship. In his rush to celebrate, he missed touching home. His team would go on to lose....
Every Overwrought Thing Adrian Wojnarowski Has Said About LeBron James
Yahoo's Adrian Wojnarowski, like many of our nation's sportswriters, doesn't care for LeBron James. But Woj shows his distaste with a bit more pathos than that of the average hack. Here, in order of increasing floridness and delusion, are some choice LeBron-related quotes from November 2008 on....
Ohio's Legislative Dick Move: Mavs Honored For Taking Down LeBron
If you've ever wanted to see an entire state act like jealous toddler throwing someone else's toys, Ohio's got you covered. LeBron James, who spent years bringing money and excitement to Cleveland, and still does extensive charity work in Akron, didn't win at basketball. As a result, Ohio Governor J...
If A Canadian Team Wins A Title, Will They Visit The White House?
Should the Canucks win one of the next two games, they'll partake in one of the greatest traditions in pro sports: spending time with the Stanley Cup. But will they, or the Cup, receive the White House invite that's standard for championship teams? More to the point, would an American President hono...
Greetings From The Managing Editor
Hello, readership! Wasn't that some good sports last night? The winning athletes played the game tremendously well. The losers had some definite shortcomings, didn't they?...
Mark Cuban Says Dallas Punked The Shit Out Of Miami Fans, And He Says It Repeatedly
Yes, Mark Cuban dropped the s-bomb on SportsCenter. But he'd been practicing. This is what happens when a guy doesn't get to talk to the media for a week....
HOLY SHIT LEBRON HAS SIX TOES ON HIS RIGHT FOOT (BREAKING: MAYBE JUST FIVE)
And now we know what Stephen A. Smith was talking about. This comes straight off the watermarked NBA wire....
Michael Vick Delivered A Graduation Speech, But No One Paid Attention
Remember Dwight Eisenhower's famous farewell address, where he warned us of the military-industrial complex, but we didn't listen to him and wound up in lots of unnecessary (and unnecessarily costly) wars? Maybe this is the lowbrow version of that address....
Watch Eric Hassli's MLS Goal Of The Year
One might wonder, the first time one sees hockey or soccer, why the players don't bank goals in off the post at all times—the goalies can never save them. Here's one of the prettiest examples you'll ever see, from Eric Hassli of the Vancouver Whitecaps. From outside the penalty box, on a quick rec...
<i>NY Daily News</i> Stretches "NFL Star" To Its Breaking Point
Here's the headline in today's New York Daily News: "Bret Lockett and Kim Kardashian? NFL star comes clean: ‘I never met Kim, but we sexted'." This is a report following up on In Touch's headline: "Five-month affair with NFL star Bret Lockett behind fiancé's back."...
Watch Man U's Gary Neville Throw A Truly Terrible First Pitch At A White Sox Game
Gary Neville, who played right back for England and Manchester United for perhaps forever, before retiring this year, was in Chicago on Thursday night to throw out the first pitch before the White Sox-A's game. Man U and the Chicago Fire will be playing a friendly shortly. He and his 400 caps are ...
Bill Plaschke Tries Bill Simmons On For Size
With today's game six preview column, Plaschke has entered the pantheon of writers who write like Bill Simmons....