hi Page 1627 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This 6-Foot-4, 320-Pound NFL Player Drives A Hello Kitty Convertible Smart Car
Chargers DT Antonio Garay was just fined $15,000 by the NFL for a hit below the knee on Tom Brady in Week 2, but he will be laughing all the way to the bank, because he drives a tiny car with a Hello Kitty on it and tweets pictures of it all the time. So, ha!...

The Fan Who Threw A Banana At A Black Hockey Player Did Not Know It Would Be Seen As Racist
From the AP: "The lawyer for a man accused of throwing a banana at a black NHL player says his client deeply regrets what he did and had no idea his actions could be seen as racist."...

Important Question Of The Night, Answered: Dan Johnson Did Not Go Deep To Some Dude's Nuts
This was Dan Johnson's game-tying shot in the ninth against the Yankees, which was briefly the night's most "holy shit" moment and which seemed all the more legendary for having caromed off some guy's balls. Verdict: no nut shot....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And T-Shirt Sales Pitch
Last Friday was not a good day for the Knox City Greyhounds. In fact, per superfan Chad McGhee, "it went bad." Like 54-8 bad. "Nightmare on Elm Street" bad. "I pray to the Lord that this team regroups and gets their heads out of their asses hopefully" bad....

A Belarusian Goalie Participated In A Lionel Messi Trick-Shot Goal Today
It took just six seconds for Alyaksandr Pyotravich Hutar, goalkeeper extraordinaire for FC Bate Borisov, to look at his gloves after Lionel Messi scored the first of his two goals in UEFA Champions League play today. Because it was their fault, the whole perfectly bouncing the ball in front to ser...

Belligerent Galloping Lady Demonstrates The Funniest Way To Use A Treadmill
We can't decide whether or not the belligerent gallop-jog is funnier on loop, as you'll see above, or as a single belligerent gallop-jog, which can be seen here. But this woman definitely eats elliptical girls for breakfast. Our only regret is that the tipster, Marc, did not capture the moment whe...

So Here's What Really Happened When A Pair Of Philly Football Writers Got Into A Fight Today
The Internet has been buzzing about the brawl that occurred this afternoon between Les Bowen of the Philadelphia Daily News and Jeff McLane of the Philadelphia Inquirer, their respective newspapers' Eagles beat writers. The story first got out because of a tweet sent early this afternoon by Howard E...

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The End Is The Beginning
It was a frightful beating that gave rise to Deadspin's ongoing search for the meaning of Bartolo Colon—the 38-year-old Yankees starter got knocked out of the first inning against the Blue Jays, surrendering 8 runs (3 earned), an outing so bad it raised questions about the pitcher's very purpose in ...

The Fan Who Threw A Banana At A Black Hockey Player Has Been Arrested
Police in London, Ontario, held a press conference this afternoon to announce the arrest of 26-year-old London resident Christopher Moorhouse for allegedly throwing a banana at Wayne Simmonds of the Philadelphia Flyers. The incident happened when Simmonds, one of the NHL's few black players, was at...

HOLY SHIT TOM BRADY CUT HIS HAIR
What does that face tell you? He looks guilty to me. Is this some form of self-inflicted punishment? Or is he punishing us? Did Gisele make him do it? Did Belichick make him do it? Did Jesus get jealous and make him do it? Did the Bills make him do it? Did ESPN The Magazine make him do it? Will the ...

Bubba Starling, Golden Boy Royals Prospect, Busted For Underage Drinking
From the Kansas City Star: "Outfielder Bubba Starling was one of three Royals' prospects cited last Saturday for underage drinking...Starling, 19, was a multi-sport standout at Gardner-Edgerton High School prior to his selection as the fifth overall pick in the June draft. He chose the Royals over a...

An MLB Umpire Forgot The Count Last Night And Held The Game Up By Making A Phone Call (Video)
Part of Gary Cederstrom's job as a home-plate umpire is to keep track of the count for every batter, no matter what the scoreboard or any television graphic might indicate. But last night, with Adam Dunn batting with two outs and no one on in the bottom of the fourth, Cederstrom apparently got caugh...

The $30 Product That Will Change How You Watch The NFL
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

How Has Steve Bartman Avoided Showing Up On The Internet After All These Years?
It seems strange—miraculous, even—that sites like ours or other media outlets have yet to catch even a glimpse of Steve Bartman post-hibernation. No candid cellphone pic popping up on a Chicagoan's Facebook page. No first-hand account of a Bartman sighting at the laundromat or the gym or an Applebee...

Giants Rookie Conor Gillaspie Had A Very Rookie Inside-The-Park Homer Last Night (Video)
There are two things that make this—Conor Gillaspie's first major league home run—a very rookie home run: 1. The stumble and trip as he is waved home ( "Honestly, I was pretty embarrassed," he said after the game. "I didn't want to get up"); and 2. The fact that once he had made it home and set al...

After An 18-Second, 80-Yard Game-Winning Drive, Football Team Has To Answer To Guy In Banana Suit
In Minnesota small-college football circles, Augsburg College's stunning upset of St. John's University is being called "The Miracle in Collegeville." That's an apt name considering the game was played in Collegeville and anytime you engineer an 80-yard game-winning drive that starts with 18 secon...

So, Michelle Beadle Apparently Sucked On Linda Cohn's Leg Today
Two girls, one Nike product-placement victory. Per @SarahSpain, "Thank god @ESPN_Michelle had that rattlesnake training. Her Texas upbringing saved @lindacohn 's life." Aw. (H/T Obsessed With Sports)...

Watch A Norwegian Soccer Player Score A Goal From Midfield With His Head
If this ends up being the only time that you watch highlights from an Odd Grenland/Tromso match of Norwegian soccer, making it Jone Samuelsen's 57+ meter head-ball goal is a good call. In fact, the Odd Grenland midfielder's feat might be nominated for some Guinness Book of World Records inclusion....

Rory McIlroy And Caroline Wozniacki Give Themselves An Insufferable Couple Nickname: Wozzilroy
If you didn't know, now you now: tennis star Caroline Wozniacki and golf star Rory McIlroy have been dating for a few months. McIlroy recently made his love official by engraving a golf club with the name "Wozzilroy," which is what they have decided we will call them. We, obviously, have decided to ...

The Curse Of Dopey "Curse Of The Bambino" References, And Other Dumb Things About The Red Sox's Stretch Run
Harvey Araton of the New York Times, reporting from Baltimore, sets the new/old standard for witless hackery today:...