hi Page 1759 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mark Grace And This Tramp-Stamped Bartender Have Apparently Met
Mark Grace is the type of ex-athlete Kevin Costner wishes he could play in movies but just can't because he's Kevin Costner. Hugging Harold Reynolds uncovered a story about Grace that, if true, enhances his reputation as baseball's patron rogue....
The 2009 Washington Nationals: A Season Of Bigger Failure
Despite appearances, the New York Mets are not baseball's worst team. That honor belongs to the Washington Nationals, a organization whose legendary incompetence should be memorialized on the marble arches of the great city that wishes they played elsewhere....
Adorable Scamp Steals America's Heart, Throws It Back On The Field
The most important story in the world right now is that of Emily Monforto, the precious 3-year-old protester who led a bold and courageous anti-ballhawking demonstration at Citizens Bank Park this week....
The White Supremacist Plot To Bring Down The NFL
The KKK is getting more sophisticated. They've got public relations people, political candidates, and now...computer geeks planning to disrupt NFL games by jamming quarterbacks' helmet radios....
The Prep School Piggy-Back Bandit Terrorizes Washington (UPDATE #2)
The developmentally disabled are a funny sort. Some can count dropped toothpicks and love The People's Court (those are fictional). Others are obsessed with mounting high school athletes....
The Exception That Proves Exactly Nothing
One of our favorite gambits here at FJM is the old "use the exception that proves the rule to yell at someone for not thinking the exception is the rule" gambit....
Sir, You Did Not Read The Memo Carefully
(GolfTippin via Shane Bacon)...
Nationals Hat A Terrorist Symbol Now
Would you associate this logo with evil? With soul-crushing sorrow, and with everything that is bad and wrong in the world? Of course you would. But terrorism?...
Please Help Weed Against Speed Recover From Hot Clicks
Our loyal commenter Weed Against Speed's blog Sportress of Blogitude was linked on Extra Mustard today. The fire hose of traffic warped his server. He's looking for assistance on what to do. Email him or comment at him with suggestions....
FCC Is Still Worried About Janet Jackson's Boob
It's been almost six years since that horrible day when America first learned about the female breast and the Federal Communications Commission is still trying to find a way to punish someone for the infamous Super Bowl Nipple Fest....
Help!
Paul Shirley, hoops journeyman and dime-store Jim Bouton, thinks the Beatles are totally overrated and today's music is vastly superior. Moment I stopped reading: "Just as Dean Koontz came after Bram Stoker, Oasis came after The Beatles." [ESPN]...
Simmons On Carolla: "He Has Reached Manny Ramirez Status"
Bill Simmons had himself a chat yesterday with the baccalaureates over at newly launched ESPN The Boston, and between Road House jokes, he shared a few catty thoughts about Adam Carolla — thoughts apparently deemed too catty by ESPN....
ESPN Finally Kills Adam Schefter
Since joining ESPN last month, Adam Schefter has logged approximately 32,000 hours of face time on The Network. I guess his schedule finally caught up with him, because he got the consumption today and had to be put down....
Ohio State-USC Game A Missed FAILgate Opportunity
"Ohio State says it has learned its lesson from big matchups such as the Texas game in 2005, in which cleanup crews found several soiled shorts and a few coolers filled with poop." [Columbus Dispatch]...
The Eagles Will Probably Sign Jeff George By Week 4
Why not? It makes about as much sense as signing Jeff Garcia at this point. But, yes, the man who once lead the team to a false start away from the NFC Championship game back in 2006 has returned. [The700Level.com]...
Brian Urlacher's Season Is Over
The Bears linebacker dislocated his wrist last night and is reportedly out for the rest of this season. Chicago's opening week just gets better and better! [Tribune]...
<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Lives!
Next week brings the joyous return of Joe Buck's Cavalcade of Sporting Chit-Chat and Penis Whimsy, now with what promises to be a marked emphasis on the former over the latter, unless Joe Namath is off the wagon again....
The Anti-Favre Debate Is Nothing But A Straw Man
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
What to Watch Today
Just because we're never afraid to be too servicey, here's a rundown of some notable televised sporting events today, starting with college football....
Shawne Merriman Will Not Face Criminal Charges for the Tila Tequila Incident
A San Diego judge has ruled that no charges will be filed against Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman for allegedly choking and restraining notorious internet trollop Tila Tequila....