Home Run Derby Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bud Selig Is Not Against Change, Just Change That Matters
We've had a busy week around here and things were bound to fall through the cracks. So, I hope you don't mind if we take a spin in the Wayback Machine to Tuesday last so we can talk about your favorite doofus uncle, Bud Selig. Great, thanks....
MLB's Plan To Drain Every Last Ounce Of Fun From The Home Run Derby Takes Shape
Kansas City Royals fans were pissed off that Robinson Cano didn't pick Billy Butler for the Home Run Derby, so they booed him. Mercilessly. And each time he failed to hit a home run, compared to the zero times he successfully did, they cheered him. (Burke went ahead and isolated the crowd audio, s...
Berman Got Back: Your Home Run Derby Supercut, Featuring Sir Mix-A-Lot
Perhaps on advisement from his superiors, the very popular Chris Berman was noticeably restrained during last night's Home Run Derby. In fact, his "backbackback" catchphrase found limited use; Berman only uttered "back" 79 times. That's still plenty enough for us to have fun with, and so here's B...
Here's The Secret Jose Canseco Old Milwaukee Ads That Aired Last Night In Kansas City
Old Milwaukee's made a name for itself in the advertising world by dropping oft-bizarre spots (often featuring actor Will Ferrell) and running them in one, usually small, television market....
Chris Berman Is America's Most Popular Sports Broadcaster
When ESPN announced Chris Berman would be announcing an opening-week Monday Night Football, we groaned. We'd also assumed the nation hated Berman's hysterical Home Run Derby squawking as much as we did. It turns out America loves Chris Berman—here's proof....
John Kruk Bogarted All The Barbecue
It's the All-Star Break in Kansas City, which like dozens of other American geographical locations is known for its barbecue. ESPN analyst John Kruk spent much of last night's Home Run Derby broadcast gnawing on grub, including through an entire interview with former Royals star George Brett. (Orio...
Your Home Run Derby Open Thread
Do you want to know the terrifying truth, and see All-Stars sock a few dingers? The Home Run Derby is on ESPN now, right now, and it's going to be Bermanly unbearable, and also fun to watch because it's fricking home runs, you Communist. Matt Kemp captains the Senior Circuit, Robinson Cano the Arcad...
What Happens When ESPN Accidentally Allows Write-In Votes On A Facebook Poll
Open Facebook polls are one of the underrated treasures of the internet. Instead of being bound to the only "logical" or "possible" answers, ESPN allowed fans' imaginations to run wild. Asking who will win tonight's Home Run Derby, ESPN didn't limit voters to just eight boring choices—and lo, Josh H...
Get Ready For A Drug-Induced Minor League Home Run Derby
If you have five minutes to kill, watch this thing. It's a Home Run Derby, except I don't think you are supposed to hit home runs. Instead they are putting some kind of insane obstacle course or, like, a Dave and Buster's restaurant on the field....
The New Best Place For A Home Run Derby: An Aircraft Carrier
This morning I lamented that our country is falling woefully behind in the "playing sports where sports aren't meant to be played" arms race. Several readers were quick to point out that I was wrong, and America continues to rock faces. Yesterday, the Class A South Atlantic League held the first r...
Now Photographers Working The Home Run Derby Are Planking Too
We've tried to stay on top of this planking thing for you guys, because it's confusing and new and stressful. Last we dropped in on sports-based planking, some wealthy—but now unemployed—NBA stars got prone on ostentatious objects (Beamers, Benzes, or Bentleys, we cannot remember which)....
A Half-Assed Statistical Analysis Of The Half-Assed Home Run Derby's Half-Assed Announcing
Chris Berman said the word "BACK" 78 times last night, 66 of which were in reference to home runs. That's about .62 "BACK"s per homer, a figure we assume is much lower than in previous years. Here's a breakdown of each player's traditional and Berman statistics (distance data from MLB.com):...
The Derby Featured A Diving Catch Into A Pool, And Not A Single Drop Of Beer Was Wasted
Our esteemed announcers preferred an earlier catch to this gentleman's play, but they fail to notice that on his dive, he manages to save his entire pint. This great nation will go to great lengths to ensure that we never waste a drop of an overpriced lager....
Your Home Run Derby Open Thread/Chris Berman Liveblog
Here's your Home Run Derby open thread. I will be live-blogging Chris Berman. And give us your best Berman nickname for a prize....
Bad Beats: Adrian Gonzalez Will Win Tonight's Home Run Derby
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....
David Ortiz Swears In Spanish During Home Run Derby, Announcers Hilariously Mistranslate
During his first round of derbying, David Ortiz took a break to wipe himself down and sip some of Rafael Soriano's Gatorade. Then he said "pussy" in Spanish, and Berman and Joe Morgan thought he meant something else. Let's break it down....
The Home Run Derby Will Rot Your Will To Live
As it turns out, Chris Berman might be the only person pitched at the right frequency for the Home Run Derby. After three hours of that — three hours! — I was almost afraid I didn't like baseball anymore....
Jeff Allison's Re-Renewed Sense Of Purpose Comes From Hamilton
Jeff Allison, the 23-year-old pitcher buried in the Florida Marlins farm system is destined to hear the Josh Hamilton comparisons throughout the rest of his career. Like Hamilton, Allison was a highly-touted prospect, a high school pitching phenom, who's been featured in more fall-from-grace stories...
Josh Hamilton Doesn't Win Home Run Derby, And You Don't Care
Congratulations to Justin Morneau for winning the Home Run Derby. Too bad the stories tomorrow aren't going to be about you and instead about Josh Hamilton's 28 longballs in the first, his tattoos, his rehab-induced dream about doing this, and his blow habit....
Home Run Derby Live Blog
Eight guys with bats. One Berman. And Three Doors Down, for some reason. It's a Home Run Derby live blog, Charlie Brown. Please adorn your Chan Ho Park faces (for safety reasons) before entering the dinger zone after the Gordon Jump....