houston Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No One Notices The Spurs Because No One Notices San Antonio
Here's a working barstool-grade theory as to why, during its dynastic run to four (perhaps soon five) titles since 1999, America still embraces the San Antonio Spurs with a yawn and a why are you still here? squint. This phenomenon has flustered if not baffled sports cognoscenti for years. But they ...
Gentlemanly Angels Fan Runs Away, Allows Flying Bat To Just Miss Woman
This has kind of become a thing in recent years, hasn't it? A man and a woman are seated next to each other at a baseball park. They are enjoying themselves, relaxing to the game's gentle rhythms, when all of a—HOLYSHITIT'SCOMINGRIGHTATUSRUNFORYOURLIVES!...
Chandler Parsons Sent A Girl To Prom On A Party Bus
What does chill bro and Houston Rockets forward Chandler Parsons do when he gets asked to prom by one of his fans? He politely declines, and then sends her a bitchin' party bus....
An Astros Vendor Pooped Next To His Snow Cones
Astros fans: do not eat the yellow snow cones. They are not lemon. (The browns aren't chocolate either.)...
Santa Clara And Houston Will Host The 2016 And 2017 Super Bowls
At the NFL spring meetings in Boston this afternoon, owners voted to award Super Bowls L and LI—in 2016 and 2017—to the Bay Area and Houston. That leaves Miami as the only finalist to go home empty-handed. Should've paid for those stadium renovations, South Florida!...
OK, Who Wants To Sign Dwight Howard?
After two years of trade requests and petulance and a stock-lowering season with the Lakers, it's time for the Dwight Howard free agency sweepstakes—and four teams have emerged as potential landing spots should Howard decide to leave L.A....
The Astros Lost On A Moronic Walk-Off Error
"Looks like we're going to extra innings." That's what Greg Brown, the Pirates' TV broadcaster, said as soon as Russell Martin made contact on this fly ball to shallow right-center. But Brown should have known better. Because it ain't over till the Astros have finished tying all of their shoelaces t...
Add This Balk To The 2013 Astros Lowlight Reel
What could possibly make this balk more perfectly Astros? The fact that it made the game 7-0, maybe....
MLB Has Disciplined The Umps From Last Night's Angels-Astros Game
Well, what do you know? MLB has not only decided to swing its shithammer at the crew that screwed up a basic rules interpretation during last night's Angels-Astros game. It's also publicizing the discipline being meted out....
Umps Don't Give A Shit As Astros Make Illegal Pitching Change
The human element is really on a roll this week. Approximately 24 hours after the umpires in Cleveland reviewed an obvious home run and declared it wasn't a home run, another blue crew in Houston allowed the Astros to make a pitching change that is explictly prohibited by MLB's rules....
Astros Fan Behind Home Plate Really Wants You To See His Fake Dong
We pride ourselves on vigilance to behind-the-plate fan frivolity, what with jackasses pantomiming blowjobs at Wrigley or dudes outfitting themselves in Marlins gear during non-Marlins postseason games. So when this fan at last night's Angels-Astros game kept standing up to show off his fake dong, ...
De-Pantsed Baby Wanders Through Rockets Postgame Show
Who is that child? Where did it come from? Won't somebody pull up its pants?...
The Thunder Successfully Executed The Rare Double Flop
Down the stretch in the Rockets' 107-100 win, Oklahoma City turned to a “Hack-A-Whatever-His-Name-Is" strategy on Omer Asik. Before that though, the plan was apparently to get in the big man's way and go down like bowling pins....
Kevin Durant Finds That Life Without Russell Westbrook Isn't Much Fun
Comebacks from a 3-0 deficit have been done in hockey, and in baseball, but never in the NBA. It makes sense; those first two sports put an inordinate amount of weight on one person, a goaltender or a pitcher. But basketball is ostensibly the same starting five every night—except when it's not. Hous...
Chandler Parsons Is Really Sorry About Not Fist Bumping That Bro
Chandler Parsons had a huge game last night, scoring 27 points, grabbing 10 rebounds, and dishing eight assists while leading his team to a 105-103 victory over the Oklahoma City Thunder. Right after the game ended, one Rockets fan tried to express his appreciation for Parsons by offering the forwa...
Carlos Delfino Dunks All Over Kevin Durant
This has got to be the highlight of Carlos Delfino's career, right? I mean, I just spent two minutes and thirty-five seconds watching a Carlos Delfino mixtape on YouTube, and I didn't see anything that even came close to being as cool as picking Kevin Martin's pocket, streaking down the court, and ...
Kevin Durant Blew By Four Houston Defenders For A Vicious Dunk
As powerful and graceful as this dunk was, Serge Ibaka's last second layup/tip-in attempt was just goofily anemic. The Rockets win 105-103 and keep the series alive at 3-1....
Kevin Durant To Russell Westbrook: "I Love You, Russ"
There sure are a lot of good vibes floating around in the NBA today, aren't there? We've got Jason Collins bravely opening up about his homosexuality, the Kings staying in Sacramento, and Metta World Peace talking about his Cookie Monster outfit. So let's keep the positivity flowing!...
Houston Beats Phoenix Thanks To Jermaine O'Neal's Buzzer-Beating Goaltend
Tonight's bout between the Rockets and Suns in Houston looked to be headed to overtime when James Harden's buzzer-beating attempt for the lead couldn't find the twine. That's when Jermaine O'Neal decided he had someplace else to be....