hp Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is A Good Hockey Family
Jake Guentzel made his NHL debut for the Pittsburgh Penguins tonight and he got to work immediately, scoring on his very first shot. But that’s not why we’re here. Guentzel’s first goal (he scored both Pittsburgh goals on the evening) was the mere appetizer for his family losing their collective shi...
Premier League TV Ratings Are Falling Off A Cliff, Too
You’ve no doubt heard that TV ratings for NFL broadcasts are down double digits. So are English Premier League ratings, on both sides of the pond....
David Moyes Remains The Saddest Man In Sports
Poor David Moyes. A few short years after leaving his post as longtime Everton manager, Moyes has since flailed in his lone year as Sir Alex Ferguson’s successor at Manchester United, stuck for an even shorter duration at Real Sociedad, and has finally washed ashore at Sunderland. His squad currentl...
A Very Informative And Timely 2016-17 NBA Season, Uh, Preview
Holy smokes, the NBA season is here! Good thing I started working hard and diligently on this season preview a long time ago, and definitely not on Tuesday afternoon, in the back of a rental car on the way to the airport....
A Horse Walks Into A Bar
Oh, you put a jersey on your dog to celebrate your sports team winning a game? Real cute. This Burnley fan and his cool horse are very impressed....
Dipshits Who Allegedly Burglarized DeMarcus Ware's House Caught On Security Camera
Broncos linebacker DeMarcus Ware returned home from Monday night’s game against the Houston Texans to discover that his house had been burglarized. Ware was understandably upset, but was also comforted by the fact that his house was equipped with hidden cameras....
Youth Football Coach Lets Adult Play In Game, Gets Fired
The Rhode Island Pre-Teen Football League kicked out one of its teams after the coach reportedly allowed an adult to play in a game this weekend....
This Testy Poker Hand Is Excruciating To Watch<em></em>
Okay so you’ve got two weird poker guys here, which is not surprising because this is the main event of the World Series of Poker and all poker guys are weird. One poker guy, Will Kassouf, spends what feels like hours trying to goad the other poker guy, Griffin Benger, into tipping his hand. Kassouf...
Report: LSU Student Barfed On Other Fans, Kicked Police, Had To Be Carried Out Of Stands
An LSU student allegedly threw up on other fans, kicked a police officer, and needed to be carried out of stands during Saturday’s football game, according to an affidavit of probable cause acquired by WAFB....
Chelsea Need Just 30 Seconds To Take Lead On Manchester United
Pedro made mincemeat of Man United defense en route to giving Chelsea a 1-0 lead just 30 seconds into their match today at Stamford Bridge. Let’s give Marcos Alonso a hand for the assist, too....
Phil Kessel Endures The Penguins' Media Day
The Pittsburgh Penguins filmed winger Phil Kessel as he went through the responsibilities of the team’s media day, and it’s a delight. I especially related to the part where Kessel swore after being told that he had to participate in social media....
Sidney Crosby Has A Concussion
Pittsburgh Penguins center Sidney Crosby has been diagnosed with a concussion, the team announced today....
Enner Valencia Fakes Injury To Escape Police In Ambulance And Avoid Child Support Arrest
Everton striker and Ecuador star Enner Valencia returned to his homeland for a World Cup qualifier against Chile, where he managed to escape a series of encounters with Ecuador’s finest and avoid arrest for unpaid child support. ...
Here Are The Best And Most Ridiculous Evil Clown Safety Alerts
At this point, “creepy clowns” have been spotted in over a dozen cities, and at least one has supposedly lightly scratched a young boy. Whether or not we’re ready to admit it, our days of being able to walk down the street dressed as an evil jester with a chainsaw are over. Clown Purge has arrived. ...
They Let Phil Kessel Visit The White House
The Pittsburgh Penguins brought the Stanley Cup to the White House today, and Phil Kessel took time out of his empty schedule to stop by. He’s had a nice, relaxing offseason....
Joe Buck's Addiction To Hair-Plug Treatments Almost Ended His Career
Well, there’s a headline I never really expected to write....
This Is The Pinnacle Of Human Rage
What’s the maddest you’ve ever been? Have you ever been angrier than this guy? Trick question; that’s impossible....
Arsenal Win With Offside Handball On Match's Final Play
An offside Laurent Koscielny knocked the ball into goal with his arms in the match’s final seconds to give Arsenal a 1-0 win at Burnley today in a heroic and successful attempt to keep the Gunners in third place in the Premiership. ...
MLB Game Ends In A Tie For The First Time Since 2005
Tonight, officials called the Pirates-Cubs game in the sixth inning with the score tied 1-1. Heavy rain in Pittsburgh forced the game to stop for over an hour, and it was eventually called. The two teams are not scheduled to play again this year, and the outcome won’t affect playoff positioning, so ...
Yankees Fan Proposes Live On Scoreboard, Loses Ring
Here’s a tip for you: If you’re going to do the extremely performative move of proposing to your spouse live on a jumbotron at a sporting event, don’t lose the ring!...