hp Page 72 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights


The Pirates Are Incredibly Good At Losing In Milwaukee
Look, everyone, it's something else to indicate what a shitty baseball team the Pirates have been for the last two decades!...

Pirates Starting Pitcher Has Spectacularly Short Outing
Pittsburgh lefty Jonathan Sanchez started last night's game in St. Louis. His stat line reads as follows: 0.0 IP, 3 H, 2R, 2ER, 2 HR, 1 HBP. He faced four batters and threw all of 17 pitches, and then he was gone. He did not get hurt....

Papa John Tells Us He Never Got Shitfaced At A Strip Club With Bonzi Wells While Wearing A Shawn Kemp Jersey
It's time for another firsthand account of Papa John getting shitfaced. If you haven't already, please check out our previous coverage of Papa John getting shitfaced. There was the time he got all fucked up at a basketball game, the time he allegedly proved himself to be a huge lightweight, and the ...

This Is The Natural Evolution Of The Horseface
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Scottish Soccer Player Admits To Booze-And-Hooker-Fueled Bender
It was about a month ago when Paul Slane, once a rising star in the Scottish Premier League and a member of Celtic, tweeted out some salacious photos of himself getting, uh, "friendly" with two women (NSFW picture after the jump). This came shortly after Slane suffered a series of debilitating injur...

Luis Suárez Given Ten Match Ban In Order To Chew Over What He's Done
Liverpool striker Luis Suárez earned a ten-match ban for biting Chelsea's Branislav Ivanović during Sunday's match at Anfield....

<i>Ottawa Sun</i> Columnist Writes Article About His Balls
Everyone's favorite on again/off again goon, Matt Cooke, returned to Ottawa Monday night for the first time since slicing Erik Karlsson's Achilles tendon. It was an important game for Ottawa's playoff push, but Cooke's return made it special....


Robin van Persie's Wondergoal Likely Delivered Man United An EPL Title
Yes, he was offside. Yes, it was against hapless Aston Villa, who ought to be down at least 4-0 already. But Robin van Persie's golazo today in the match Manchester United needs to clinch their 20th league title is remarkable under any conditions....

Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Charged With Using A Weapon Of Mass Destruction
That's according to a statement issued this afternoon by the U.S. Department of Justice, which reads in part:...

Luis Suárez Is Biting People Again
Liverpool striker Luis Suárez, who earned a seven-match ban in 2010 for biting an opponent, is back to his Tysonesque tactics again as he appeared to go OM NOM NOM on Branislav Ivanović during today's match against Chelsea at Anfield....

Jack Edwards Is Crazy, Compares Matt Cooke To Sirhan Sirhan
And just like that Jack Edwards cashes in all that Boston good will....


Félix Pié Was "Covered In Beer" After Near-Fight With Fans
With all the other news going on this week, we missed the fallout from the Pirates' minor league dustup on Tuesday, the one that found outfielder Félix Pié—and possibly other players—trying to climb into the stands to fight fans in Toledo. A reader who was there has contacted us with more specifics....

Let's Gawk At Roger Goodell's Under-Construction Summer Home
In December, it was reported that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was building a summer home in Prouts Neck, Maine. A reader who lives in the town recently went on a stroll near what he tells us is the construction site for Goodell's new home, and he took some pictures to share with us. It's a nice l...

Pirates Fan With Giant Novelty Glove Catches Foul Ball
They say you are supposed to stop bringing your glove to the park when you're an adult, but they never say anything about not bringing your giant-ass novelty glove with you. This wonderful Pirates fan—grown man that he is—chose to exploit that loophole at last night's Cardinals-Pirates game, and the...

Did Evgeni Malkin Miss Last Night's Game Because Of A Sunburn?
No. That did not actually happen. But for a while there Saturday evening, it sure looked like it might actually be the reason Malkin would miss Pittsburgh's game against the Florida Panthers. ...

