i Page 5313 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

So, The Wizards Aren't Handling This Slump All That Well
Shit's rough for the Wizards these days, man. After a few months of hanging steady near the top of the East and raking in national praise for their fun young backcourt duo of John Wall and Bradley Beal, they've dumped five in a row, seven of nine, and have been overtaken by the refurbished and newl...

"Stop A Douchebag" Movement Shames Nutjob Russian Drivers
Russia is a country that only has "laws" in the loosest possible sense, which is why people there drive like absolute fucking maniacs. Thankfully, a youth group named Stop A Douchebag is bravely (some might say foolishly) attempting to address the problem. Reader Jeff explains:...

Super Bowl Fighters Fined
Four players have been fined for their roles in the fight at the end of the Super Bowl. Seahawks LB Bruce Irvin, who started things and was ejected from the game, owes $10,000. Michael Bennett, Rob Gronkowski, and Michael Hoomanawanui came in for fines of $8,268 each....

Report: Julian Edelman Rages At Harvard, Party Had A Dope Guy-Girl Ratio
BroBible has photos of Patriots receiver Julian Edelman, reportedly at a Final Club in Harvard Wednesday. Players Kyle Arrington and Michael Buchanan were there too, though there aren't any photos of them lifting up their shirts....

A Cool Trick From A Good Hockey Man
Say, hockey man, where'd you get those sweet moves?...

Report: Henrik Lundqvist Out At Least A Month After Freak Injury
Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist will miss a month or more, according to the Post's Larry Brooks, after continuing to experience symptoms from taking a puck in the throat during a Jan. 31 game against Carolina....

Upgraded Showerheads, $30 Bluetooth Earbuds, and More Deals
Woot has several nice looking showerheads on sale today, but the star of the show is a light-up rain showerhead for $58 shipped. [BBC Innovations Showerhead Sale, $28-$53]...

Aaron Hernandez's Lawyer Made A Ballghazi Joke In Court
Is a murder trial an appropriate place to make a dopey Ballghazi joke? Aaron Hernandez's lawyer says, "Sure, why the fuck not?"...

Jason Statham Will Hopefully Never Stop Making Movies Like <i>Homefront</i>
There are things you expect to see in a Jason Statham movie, and 2012's Homefront has those things: kicks, headbutts, armbars, heads smashed through car windows, weary neck-stretches, imperiled little kids, muttered warnings not to fuck with Jason Statham. It also has James Franco banging Winona Ryd...

The One Question Red Auerbach Wouldn't Answer
The following was originally published in the Dec. 1986 issue of Sport magazine. It is reprinted here with the author’s permission....

How To Change A Tire Without Getting Killed Like A Big Dummy
There's really only a very few basic things that are required to be thought of as some manner of "man": Really, it's just genitals of some sort (testes, ovipositor, whatever) and the ability to change a car's tire. Hell, most people don't even care about the genitals thing. It's all changing tires...

Listen To Patriots' And Seahawks' Reactions To Game-Ending Interception
We saw pieces of this yesterday—Pete Carroll's dismay and Tom Brady's screeching—but here's a fuller picture of the on-field reactions to Malcolm Butler's Super Bowl-winning interception, captured by NFL Films' microphones for "SoundFX."...

Girl Asks If She And Five Friends Can Stay Over For All-Star Weekend
This year's NBA All-Star Weekend is Feb. 13-15 in New York City. Be sure to book a hotel room if you plan on attending. Oh, and if there are, say, six of you, don't ask your friend if you can all crash at his place for the weekend....

Face Punched Hard
This is Philadelphia's Ryan White moving the Islanders' Matt Martin's nose a few centimeters to the right in their first-period fight last night....

Dodge This: The Lousy, Endless <i>Jupiter Ascending, </i>Reviewed
1. Why did The Matrix work? For all its pseudo-philosophy and whiz-bang effects, for all its blue-pill-red-pill This is all an illusion sci-fi wonkery, may I humbly suggest that it was Keanu Reeves all along? Without him, you have a fun, expansive vision that may have never escaped its creators' h...

WMU Booster's Wife Sues Message Board Posters Over Fuck Rumors
There once was a time when anonymously spreading rumors about which booster's wife your local college football coach was banging was the birthright of every college football message board user, but times are changing. Now, that stuff can get you sued for defamation....

This Seems Like Something You Couldn't Be "Not Sure" About
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Bode Miller Severed Tendon In Scary Crash
Bode Miller wiped out in his Super-G run at World Championships yesterday, and sliced his leg open something gross. (Photo here. It's a bit graphic.) It was his first time racing after 11 months off recovering from injury, and if he tries another comeback, it won't be for a while: Miller underwent s...

Clippers Meltdown Like Toddlers In Loss To Cavaliers
The Clippers were mauled in Cleveland tonight. They only lost by 105-94, but that is a deceptive result as they were down 31 after three quarters. The game was only misleadingly close because the Cavaliers sat their starters for the entire fourth quarter. It was the kind of game where the NBA puts...

Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....