i Page 5690 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The SEC Really Does Get The Best Players
This weekend, college football's conference play begins in earnest. Fans love to talk trash about which conference would thrash which other conferences, and which have the most talent, or are the most successful, or would, if presented the opportunity, perpetrate the most egregious anatomical imposs...
How Do Other Notable ESPN Suspensions Compare With Bill Simmons's?
ESPN dropped a three-week suspension TV personality and Grantland honcho Bill Simmons last night, somehow working that large stick even deeper into its collective anus. How does Simmons's punishment compare with other notable suspensions handed down by the ever-suspension-happy ESPN in the past?...
Juan Uribe's Kid Is A Dancing Machine
After the Dodgers won the NL West last night, one of Juan Uribe's four kids put on a show in the clubhouse. Lil' Uribe danced his lil' heart out....
Alleged Striker Fails To Score Easiest Goal Ever
Philipp Hofmann of Kaiserslautern could've done anything else with the ball here and scored. He could've barely tapped it in almost any direction and it would've gone in. He could've tripped over in his wind-up and his face would've bungled it in. His only job was not to do exactly what he did....
Steve Ballmer Will Institute A No-Apple Policy For The Clippers
New Clippers owner Steve Ballmer is a Microsoft loyalist who joined the company in 1980 as its 30th employee. He's so loyal that he refuses to use anything created by Apple—he does not like Apple, man—and now it appears his personal policy is becoming his team's....
Man, Is ESPN Gonna Be Surprised When Nobody Shows Up For <em>GameDay</em>
(That's Tillman Hall, on the campus of Clemson University, which is not the University of South Carolina and is not in Columbia.)...
Attention To Detail
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I Can't Stop Looking At Mario Balotelli's New Haircut
Yoooooooooooooo....
André 3000 Channels Hendrix, Finds Himself In <em>Jimi: All Is By My Side</em>
In the early 2000s, OutKast seemed poised for world-conquering superstardom. But flush with the success of 1998's Aquemini and 2000's Stankonia (and hit singles like "Rosa Parks" and "Ms. Jackson"), the Atlanta hip-hop duo of André 3000 and Big Boi fractured instead. When the double-solo-album...
Here's Video Of Rex Chapman Allegedly Stealing From The Apple Store
This is sad. Last week, we heard that former NBA player Rex Chapman was picked up on suspicion of having stolen $14,000 of stuff from the Scottsdale Apple store. Here's the surveillance video. It's a little hard to watch, a middle-aged dude crouching down, making sure no one's watching, eyeing which...
Two People With Nothing To Say About Sean Taylor
Sean Taylor: A Football Life will air tomorrow night on the NFL Network, and will chronicle the life and death of Taylor, who was fatally shot by burglars during a home invasion on Nov. 26, 2007. There is no better time—though there is no bad time—to remind you of the sneering and altogether shithea...
Stevie Johnson Drafted A Really Great Fantasy You Team
When you get down to it, it is kind of strange that we get together and pretend to collect teams of employees, and award them imaginary points for things they do at their jobs, just because they work in football. So 49ers WR Stevie Johnson decided to put together his own "fantasy work team," and I t...
With Chance To Gain Ground, Mariners Lose In Agonizing Fashion
The Seattle Mariners weren't going to make the playoffs this season. Going into yesterday's games, they were three back of both the Royals and A's for the final wild card playoff slot, with five games left to play. ESPN's playoff odds calculator gave them only a 0.1 percent chance. But did the Mar...
A Rain Delay Cost Phil Hughes $500,000
Phil Hughes has been one of the only bright spots for the Twins, and one of the biggest surprises in baseball. After going eight innings yesterday, with five strikeouts and no walks, his K/BB ratio sits at an incredible 11.6/1—an MLB record for qualified pitchers. But if only Hughes could have gone ...
Donald Sterling's Stink Is Fading From The Clippers
Donald Sterling's son-in-law Eric Miller left the Clippers this summer, new owner Steve Ballmer told the LA Times Wednesday. Miller was the team's Director of Basketball Administration last season, one of the more senior members of the Doc Rivers-helmed Basketball Operations department. Ballmer said...
Mike Moustakas Catches Woman's Face Instead Of Foul Ball
One of the best things about baseball is that fans sit precisely zero feet away from the field. It's not great because fans get to watch the action from up close (though that's pretty cool too), but because fans get to be part of the action. That's what happened to this poor Indians fan in Wednesday...
<em>South Park</em> Trashes The Washington Redskins; Watch The Highlights
South Park's season premiered tonight with a take on the Washington Redskins nickname and its trademark cancellation. If you missed it, here are the best moments. (Note that they were quick to replace RG3—who appeared in last week's teaser—with Kirk Cousins.)...
ESPN Suspends Bill Simmons Three Weeks Over Goodell Criticism
Bill Simmons practically begged ESPN to suspend him, and the oafish and epically tight-assed media behemoth did just that Wednesday night, giving him three weeks for coming to the same conclusion about NFL commissioner Roger Goodell that just about everyone in the thinking public has....