i Page 5805 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Colin Kaepernick, Two Other NFLers Investigated In "Suspicious Incident"
According to Miami police, San Francisco 49ers players Colin Kaepernick and Quinton Patton and Seahawks receiver Ricardo Lockette are being investigated in connection with what is being called a "suspicious incident" that occurred in Miami earlier this month. [Update: the full incident report can be...
Chargers Logo Used To Spice Up Synthetic Chemistry Research
In an outstanding sports-nerd move, chemists at the Scripps Research Institute—located in the La Jolla neighborhood of San Diego—have managed to slip the Chargers logo into the research abstract of an upcoming Journal of the American Chemical Society paper. ...
This Soccer Star Is <em>Probably</em> Not A Jihadist Fighting In Syria
Yesterday, the Daily Mail published a piece about former Arsenal and Real Madrid star Lassana Diarra. The 29-year-old French international is under contract at Russian side Lokomotiv Moscow, but rumors abound that Lass moonlights as a warrior for Islam. ...
Sriracha Declared A Public Nuisance; Civilization To Collapse
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, motherfuckers: It tolls for sriracha. In a unanimous, bourgeois-food-world-rocking vote Wednesday evening, the City Council of Irwindale, California declared the noxious hot-sauce fumes emitting from the town's Huy Fong Foods factory a [dun dun dun] public nuisance....
Mike Francesa Could Not Give Less Of A Shit About The Ultimate Warrior
You think the Sports Pope wants to sit here and spend his day talking about professional wrestling? Get a clue. Francesa could cah less about that gahbage....
Meet April Atkins, Once The World's Strongest 7th-Grader
You might think that a huge amount of information about a 12-year-old girl once celebrated as the "world's strongest seventh-grader" would surely exist online. That's the sort of thing ARPANET was built for, wasn't it? That, and allowing mainframe computers all over the world to talk to one another....
Here's A Bunch Of ESPN Personalities Reciting The Gettysburg Address
You're probably wondering why the hell this exists. Well, it appears that Ken Burns is working on a documentary about the Gettysburg Address, and this is some kind of promo clip for it. ...
David Ortiz Goes On Slowest Home Run Trot On Record
Thanks to our friends at Tater Trot Tracker, who have been timing home run trots for years now, we know that nobody takes his time getting around the bases quite like David Ortiz does....
Damnit, Rondo
Is there a word for when a player tries to take a charge, only the ballhandler never actually makes contact, yet the defender hits the floor anyway? It's Rondoing, now....
Unkillable Red Wings Make 23rd Straight Postseason
By earning a point last night in a shootout loss to Pittsburgh, the Detroit Red Wings clinched their 23rd straight postseason berth. They salvaged that point on this goal from center Riley Sheahan. Riley Sheahan wasn't yet born the last time the Red Wings missed the playoffs....
Screencap Classix: May 9, 2010
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The MLB Pundits Are Back. Will They Be Less Of A Disaster In 2014?
In what is becoming an annual tradition, we ask the question: Will this year finally be the one where the baseball pundits turn it around? After a string of terrible prediction seasons from 2009-2012 (see details), the "experts" followed it up with a truly pitiful 2013, in which no one picked either...
Andrelton Simmons Makes Impossible Throw Look Easy
Andrelton Simmons's defense is one of the is one of the very best things baseball has going for it right now. Last night, the Atlanta Braves shortstop made a play that will break your brain. ...
Pacers Bench All Five Starters, Still Beat Bucks
When Pacers coach Frank Vogel announced he would sit all five starters for last night's game against the Bucks, it was like a thought experiment come to life. Can a good team's second unit beat the starters of a historically awful team? It was close, but...yes!...
Baseline Bathroom Standards: Let's Do This
The rise of AirBnB—and the existence of Airpnp, which allows you to tap-tap-tap on your tiny computer telephones and find a friendly bathroom in which to take a whiz when no acceptable public option is available—makes necessary a conversation about what amenities a bathroom should feature, and what ...
Marc-Andre Fleury Makes An Unreal, Tumbling Shootout Save
Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury had a brilliant save in tonight's shootout against the Red Wings, rolling right and stretching his glove out just in time to catch Daniel Alfredsson's backhand attempt. The effort was impressive as hell....
Mike Greenberg Milks Cow; Cow Shits Everywhere
ESPN's Mike Greenberg had to milk a cow today as a result of losing some March Madness bet, while Mike Golic described the process. When Greenberg finally started milking—at about the one-minute mark—it took only a few seconds before the cow gave her opinion of Mike & Mike all over the platform (and...
Jeff Withey Completes The Rare Pass Off Of The Referee's Head
Pelicans center Jeff Withey's pass was swatted by Eric Bledsoe, right into the noggin of official Bennie Adams and back to Withey. You can hear the "doink!" sound in your head....