ick Page 351 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Welcome To Football Hell
Football can be perfect and beautiful. It can also suck complete and total ass for everyone involved. Today, we travel to Mankato, Minn. for the latter experience....
Derrick Henry Went Old School And Embarrassed The Jaguars
Derrick Henry did much, much more last night against the Jaguars than run 99 yards, impale All-Pro corner A.J. Bouye with a halberd of a stiff arm, shrug Leon Jacobs off like a bathrobe, and then gas half the Jags’ defense, but since he did all that and more on his way to the NFL’s second-ever 99-ya...
Washington's Quarterback Situation Goes From Bad To Worse To Josh Johnson
The Skins tried out several lumpy castoffs after Alex Smith’s injury—including EJ Manuel, Kellen Clemens, Josh Johnson, and TJ Yates—before settling on Mark Sanchez, who didn’t play a down of football last season. Now, with fill-in starter Colt McCoy also out, and Sanchez suddenly the starter, the t...
Joakim Noah Will Emerge From His Crypt, Sign With The Grizzlies
Joakim Noah played 1,055 minutes for the New York Knicks, earning $72.6 million dollars for his service. Highlights from that time include: a perfect mime of his shooting form by DeMarcus Cousins, a 20-game suspension for violating the league’s anti-drug policy, serious injury woes, fights with coac...
Sportswriters Are Too Outraged By Kareem Hunt To Bother To Learn What Domestic Violence Is<em></em>
The video, once again, is brutal. In the recording from The Metropolitan at the 9 hotel in Cleveland, you can see Kareem Hunt shove and kick a 19-year-old woman. The day the video was published by TMZ, Hunt still was a running back with the Kansas City Chiefs. That night, he was cut. Nobody has sign...
Dopey Team Does Cool Thing
The Wizards, who are extremely butt, are beating the Knicks in New York Monday night. The Knicks are also extremely butt, but unlike the Wizards, they have several perfectly good excuses—Kristaps Porzingis is out, Mitchell Robinson and Kevin Knox are in, and Emmanuel Mudiay is starting at point guar...
Luka Doncic Gets Pumped And Jacked About The NBA, Also Happens To Play In It<em></em>
Luka Doncic is the most productive rookie in the NBA. He is also the smiliest goof I can remember ever seeing on its basketball courts. This passage from Rob Mahoney’s nice SI profile of the Mavericks’ Slovenian teen rang true:...
Tottenham Fan Arrested For Throwing Banana At Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang<em></em>
London police arrested seven people following Sunday’s wild North London Derby, which Arsenal won with a 4-2 beatdown on Tottenham. One of the seven was a Tottenham fan who threw a banana on the field at Gabonese forward Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang after Aubameyang scored a penalty in the tenth minute...
Patrick Beverley Ejected After Throwing Ball At Fan He Says Told Him “Fuck Your Mother”
Patrick Beverley had an eventful game on Sunday! In the third quarter, the Clippers guard knocked out Dennis Smith’s tooth while diving for a loose ball. But it was the fourth quarter where Beverley got into it with a fan—and got ejected....
Bill Belichick Got Into It With Adam Thielen
Down two scores and with about nine minutes remaining, the Vikings picked up what looked like a fourth-down conversion—but it was close. Minnesota hurried to the line to try to get the next play off before the Patriots could decide whether to challenge the ruling, but safety Patrick Chung dropped to...
Akiem Hicks Pulls Off Near-Perfect Imitation Of William "The Refrigerator" Perry To Score Fat Guy Touchdown
Clemson showed its ability to pay homage to notable alumnus, William “The Fridge” Perry, by scoring fat guy touchdowns left and right, and now the Chicago Bears are getting in on the fun. The Bears were in an obvious running formation on 4th-and-goal from the one-yard line late in the first half. Wh...
Mario Hezonja Steps Over A Fallen Giannis Antetokounmpo After Breakaway Dunk<em></em>
Mario Hezonja has never been one to be short of confidence. When asked in 2015 if he went to see Lionel Messi play during his stint at Barcelona, the Croatian replied, “Let Messi come to see me.” Three years later, that confidence has yet to fade....
Kansas City Chiefs Release Kareem Hunt After Video Shows Him Kicking, Shoving Woman At Hotel
Just hours after TMZ published footage showing star Chiefs running back Kareem Hunt kicking and shoving a woman in a Cleveland hotel in February, the Chiefs have released Hunt. The team announced the decision this evening with a short statement saying Hunt was being released because he lied to the N...
Luka Dončić Does Cool Things
There was a funny moment midway through the third quarter of Wednesday night’s Mavericks road win in Houston, when Luka Dončić drove the paint off a nifty show-and-go move, slowed up in the lane, and lofted a smooth, high-arcing floater over the outstretched arm of Clint Capela, one of the NBA’s mor...
Please Enjoy This Enormous Australian Cow
What you’re looking at here is a cow named Knickers, a Holstein Friesian that lives on a farm in Western Australia with a bunch of other regulation-size cows that honestly look laughably small—like a child’s toys, like a dull child’s stupid playthings—in comparison. This is because Knickers, per Per...
Ass Team Of The Week: Oh Yeah, The San Francisco 49ers Still Play Football
Every person that cares about NFL football was freed from having to pay any attention to the San Francisco 49ers at the moment quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo tore his ACL in Week 3. They briefly rose to notice when rookie quarterback Nick Mullens had a decent game on Thursday Night Football, but for th...
![Henry Anderson's Dick And Balls Rudely Squished By Cordarrelle Patterson [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ixehh9mgwgbeldk2uzsj.gif)
Henry Anderson's Dick And Balls Rudely Squished By Cordarrelle Patterson [Update]
Cordarrelle Patterson was brought down by Henry Anderson after a one-yard gain on a first-and-five run early in the fourth quarter of Sunday’s Patriots-Jets tilt. Patterson, who I think it will henceforth be fair to assume is a total sociopath, expressed his displeasure with that turn of events by c...
Spectacular Touchdown Grab Rescued From Nonexistence By NFL's Updated Catch Rule
An extremely cool touchdown catch survived the crucible of rulebook scrutinization and was hauled back from the brink of nonexistence in this afternoon’s surprising Browns beatdown of the Bengals. Baker Mayfield, who is torching the Bengals defense, lobbed a fade to Nick Chubb, operating against sin...
Ohio State Returns Momentum To Michigan With Muffed Fair Catch Attempt
For a majority of the first half, Ohio State has turned Michigan’s top-ranked defense into mincemeat. Dwayne Haskins has thrown for three touchdowns and hasn’t been under any serious pressure all game. So when Michigan scored its first touchdown of the day to cut Ohio State’s lead down to eight with...
Was That The Future Of Football?
“I might need a couple beverages to relax tonight,” Sean McVay said after the Rams’ 54-51 win over the Chiefs in one of the most satisfying and exhilarating football games ever played. Maybe a cigarette? MNF viewers are walking around this morning like we got laid last night, and you know what? I’m ...