ick Page 468 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Racing Club's Ingenious Goal Is Why We Need More Free Kick Shenanigans
Seriously, why isn't there more experimentation on free kicks? As Racing Club proved in the Copa Libertadores last night, there are trickier, probably more effective ways to score from a dead ball than just thumping it vaguely towards goal. We have enough evidence. Let's put it to use....
Sad Derrick Rose Shrine Even Sadder After Being Vandalized
Remember that incredibly sad Derrick Rose shrine we told you about yesterday? Well, the only thing sadder than a shrine to a still living basketball player under an underpass is a vandalized shrine to a still living basketball player under an underpass. David Beltran and Brendan Carroll—the two ar...
How To Score Weed
So you want to score some fresh weed, and you are not fortunate enough to live in one of those states that has made the sensible decision to decriminalize it. Congratulations: You’re cool, and you’ve come to the right place (within the wrong place). It’s not that hard to score bud with the right am...
Report: Eagles Trade Nick Foles To Rams For Sam Bradford
The Eagles are close to getting themselves themselves another quarterback, acquiring Sam Bradford from the Rams in exchange for Nick Foles, with unspecified draft picks changing hands, according to ESPN's Adam Schefter....
What's Going On With This Tie, Patrick?
Patrick Willis officially announced his retirement today at a press conference, where he wept openly and cited scripture. Journalists gave him a standing ovation, which was weird. And for reasons that escape us, he also wore his tie as pictured above. ...
Chicago Artist's Shrine To Derrick Rose Is The Saddest
It's a common human response to erect shrines and murals in public spaces commemorating fallen heroes. One Chicago artist felt particularly moved by Derrick Rose's umpteenth injury to create one in his memory, replete with the point guard's visage wearing a crown of thorns, crutches and knee pads la...
What Is Chip Kelly Doing?
Two months ago, Chip Kelly was given full control over the Eagles' football personnel decisions. Every trade, every signing, every draft pick—that's all Kelly. Which raises the question, given that the Eagles have been the single most active team ahead of the official start of free agency: what exac...
49ers Deny Report That They're Trying To Trade Colin Kaepernick
The post-Jim Harbaugh 49ers roster will have notable changes—running back Frank Gore has reportedly agreed to a deal in principle with the Eagles—but one report claims San Francisco's seeing what they can get for quarterback Colin Kaepernick....
Dick Vitale Delivers Ridiculous Rant Defending Jim Boeheim
Dick Vitale is missing yet another UNC-Duke game tonight, having been dispatched to Louisville for tonight's battle between Virginia and the Cardinals. And Dickie V used his podium to launch into a strenuous defense of Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim, declaring the Orange skipper "not a cheater."...
Luis Suárez Is Back And He's Coming To Devour The World
It feels a little weird saying this about a known shithead, but we can't help but appreciate how Luis Suárez's hard work on the pitch is finally resulting in the goals his play has deserved. But even in the face of criticism earlier in the season, as Suárez struggled to mesh perfectly with his new B...
New Fake Indian Joins Old Fake Indian In NY High School's R-Word Fight
The "Redskins" name controversy has played out all over America for years now, in precincts high and low. It's now turned up, though, in the last place you'd expect—Lancaster, N.Y. Some of the same spurious Indians defending the NFL team's name jumped in the small-town fray this week....
Olympian On The IOC's Rules Against Sponsors: "It's Very Un-American"
We all know—or should know—that Olympic athletes don't make a penny from that 17-day extravaganza of running, jumping, throwing, swimming, flipping, etc. That pisses two-time Olympian Nick Symmonds off. It should, especially when you consider that even though about $6 billion went through the Inte...
Moron <i>USA Today</i> Columnist Thinks The Cardinals Poop Vanilla Sprinkles
You know, we usually wait until October here to dump on the Cardinals and have the entire city of St. Louis send us polite death threats. But Bob Nightengale … oh, Bob Nightengale … you forced my hand early, you abominable fucking hack. I guarantee, right now, that there won't be a worse piece of ...
MLS And Players Union Reach Agreement. What Does It Mean, And Who Won?
Twenty-four hours after it looked like a work stoppage was inevitable—and 48 hours before the beginning of the season—Major League Soccer and the Major League Soccer Players Union announced that they had reached a tentative deal on a new collective bargaining agreement. Here are the highlights o...
Whatever Happened To That Dez Bryant Video?
It's impossible to prove a negative, but with each passing day, it seems more and more likely that the Dez Bryant video—the subject, over the last two weeks, of rumors so intense that they were, in themselves, semi-legitimate news—simply doesn't exist. ...
J.J. Watt Is A Goddamn Lying Clownfraud
"It's really minimalistic," he said. "There's no frills ... It's just an empty space and a log cabin and snow." You pictured a hovel on the taiga. A lean-to. Wind whistling between the rough-hewn and bark-clad logs. J.J. Watt waking, abundantly and ruggedly bearded, staggering outside in the pre...
The Vikings Will Try To Woo Back Adrian Peterson Today
A Vikings contingent will fly to Texas today in an attempt to smooth things over with Adrian Peterson, and if all goes well, perhaps to convince the start running back to play for Minnesota this year. It'll be a tough sell....
NRA Secretly Backs Group Aiming To Save Elephants Now, Kill Them Later
A couple of weeks ago, a group called the Elephant Protection Association (EPA) sent an email to a Maryland woman with elephant-hugging tendencies after she'd registered for membership online. There was an important measure coming before the General Assembly in Annapolis, HB713, which would restr...
Jason Smith's Dancing Is The Only Redeeming Thing About The Knicks
The Knicks are bullshit and should be ignored at all costs, but we can make an exception for power forward Jason Smith, who in this video busts out a series of dance moves at an energy level of a Pixie Stick-addled kid who just watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective....