il Page 1626 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights


Colts Fans Are Staying Hungry
Not the best of seats for this family, but it's closer to the snack bar. Plus, right after the game, I hear that he found the third Willie Wonka Golden Ticket!...

Wade Wilson's Totally Non-Flaccid Excuse
So here's something our Rick Ankiel could use as a defense, when he inevitably addresses the HGH story later today: He was trying to get a boner....

It's Almost Like The Cubs Are Jinxed Or Something
After 100 years of futility, there was really no reason for the folks in the Wrigley bleachers to celebrate early. That's just inviting disaster, isn't it? Cubs fans have only themselves to blame for this one. Oh, and Ryan Dempster too, we suppose. Chicago, leading by a game in the NL Central and f...

It's The AFC South Pants Party
Come on, somebody ... don't pick the Colts. We dare ya. Some picks! • AJ Daulerio: Colts, Titans, Jaguars, Texans. • Kissing Suzy Kolber: Colts, Jaguars, Texans, Titans. • Robert Weintraub, Slate: Colts, Jaguars, Titans, Texans. • Matt Pitzer, USA Today: Colts, Titans, Texans, Jaguars. • Aaron Sc...

It's The AFC East Pants Party
OK, it appears we are finally back. Boy, it's been a fun day to work for Gawker Media; it was extremely enjoyable to have people tell us what was happening on our site, since we couldn't see it and couldn't update it. Awesome. Anyway, to the AFC! Hard to imagine anyone other than the ole' Patriots...

The Picturesque Word Stylings Of Darco Milicic
Sure, I took Serbian in high school — who didn't? — but it's really rusty. So let's leave it to AOL Fanhouse to translate the worst bit of this Darco Milicic tirade against the refs following Serbia's loss to Greece in the European championships. Fanhouse surmises that one of the lines is:...

A-Rod Will Keep Hitting Them Out As Long As You Keep Teeing Them Up
The two-home-runs-in-one-inning phenomenon, usually found only in Little League and the softball game at your company picnic, appeared at Yankee Sradium on Wednesday in the form of a limping, self-satisfied Alex Rodriguez. The two clouts in an eight-run seventh led New York over Seattle 10-2, effect...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after the Killer Maneating Terror Of Coney Island is finally captured ... • MLB: Los Angeles Dodgers at Chicago Cubs. First place ... fun while it lasted. [ESPN] [WGN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's and women's quarterfinals, at New York. How can we go on without Rafael Nadal? (I'll miss h...

If These Two Kids Can't Make It, Who Can?
We feel obliged to point out that Shaq got divorced. We do not know why we feel obliged to point this out. But we are anyway....

Scott Van Pelt Hates Anonymous Internet Garbage
It is amusing to watch a guy like Scott Van Pelt, one of the better ESPN personalities and a guy we certainly have our fair share of history with, struggle with the Internet. He is a Web guy, but he hates the Web; he fears becoming what he most despises....

It's The NFC East Pants Party
Considering the NFL season starts tomorrow, we figured it was probably time to stop dawdling and start previewing. You've seen all our NFL Season Previews — except for Dallas, which we're told is coming — and now it's time to go division-by-division. And do our yearly roundup of picks from around t...

NL Central, What Would We Do Without You, You Crazy Nut?
You mocked the National League's Central Division. Called it the race nobody wanted. But now it's September, and it's the most compelling race in baseball, with three teams within a game of each other atop the standings. You've got Carlos Zambrano pouting into his sippy cup. Rick Ankiel not caring ...

Imagine Being The Guy In The Plunger Costume
In lieu of some sound effects humor over at EDSBS, we present you with a rather gorgeous example of spot photography....

This Potential Chicago Riot Brought To You By The Letter Z
And so we witness the brave veneer begin to crack in the Windy City. The Cubs are still in first in the NL Central — shouldn't that be cause for unbridled joy? — but you'd never know it. Carlos Zambrano had a stinky outing on Monday and was treated to a chorus of boos by the Wrigley unfaithful. Zamb...

Women Are From Venus, Ivanovic's Are From Heaven
While it's always good to see Venus Williams healthy and playing at her peak I can't help but lament the loss of her opponent. Ana Ivanovic (previously featured for her sexiness in these parts by Dan Shanoff) was easily the sexiest creature remaining in the women's draw—although Rafael Nadal sure is...


About Last Night ...
What you missed while making Scott Baker look like a chump... • MLB: Clay Buchholz tossed a no-hitter for Boston. There's one guy who didn't have to pay for sex last night! • CFB: Cal avenged last year's humbling defeat to Tennessee in a primetime shootout. They also covered the spread, which means ...


Parlay 'O the Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like bacon and hot fudge. With that in mind, it's my privilege to introduce a new feature, the Parlay 'o the Week. Each weekend I'm around these parts I will share some of my gambling wisdom with you, the reader. Just remember, most of said "wisdom" comes f...