il Page 1691 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night ...
Well, once again you've thrown a boot at the TV and pointed the remote at the cat ... • MLB: Pedro, Mets lose again, consider reality series. • MLB: Ortiz, you stud! Red Sox shock Angels. • Talk about steroids, ever take a close look at Kim Clijsters? Er, we mean, Venus ousted in U.S. Open semis....

A Bad Way For Your Party To End
On the list of "Things That Are Not Smart To Do," we'd have to say that "Drunkenly Plowing Into Shaquille O'Neal's Wife" has to be pretty high up there. But that's what happened to some poor soul at the Video Music Awards last week, and, perhaps not surprisingly, the dude ended up on the floor in ...

About Last Night ...
• What you missed while shaving profanities onto your dog ... • Florida State beats Miami in football ... wait, that can't be right. • Jerry Rice decides to retire after Broncos clean out his locker, paint over his parking space and refuse to let him back into the building. • White Sox grind Curt Sc...

Dirty Deeds Brings Out Dirty Folk
More info on Dirty Deeds, the "movie" produced by former gay nomad Todd Zeile and Yankees gorilla Jason Giambi: Apparently Barry Bonds has seen the movie. He showed up at the premiere, posing for photos with former "Party of Five" star Lacey Chabert, which is kind of a frightening mental image....

Bill Simmons: This Is Who He Is
We have to say, when we saw the headline to the new Bill Simmons column, titled "This Is Who I Am ...," we got very excited. Who is Bill, exactly? Was it going to be a Scoop Jackson-esque Crash Davis rant, with stuff like, "I believe Tom Brady posters should be on the ceilings of every unmarried ...

Charity, A Wee Bit at a Time
After winning in the second round of the U.S. Open yesterday, superhumanoid from the future Serena Williams announced she would give $100 for every ace to victims of Hurricane Katrina in the Gulf Coast. This is a noble thing, sure; she didn't have to give anything, so let's not look a gift horse i...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while stuck firmly in the tire swing ... • MLB: Pedro tees 'em up, Phillies hit 'em out. Ah, that's the Mets we know. • A day after taking first batting practice, an exhausted Bonds takes a day off. • Marlins' Hermida peaks at 21; hits grand slam in first major league at-bat....

Terrell Owens Update: Still Keeping It Real
We haven't checked in on Terrell Owens for a while; how's it goin', Terrell? Well, looks like he and Donovan McNabb still aren't talking, which isn't a big deal, since we can't imagine their level of discourse is all that high anyway. ("Donovan, I'm concerned about the lack of geopolitical debate ...

Milton Bradley Repeatedly High-Fives His Wife
You know, it had been so long since a good Athlete Beating His Wife story that we were beginning to wonder what was going on. But we can always count on crazy Dodgers outfielder Milton Bradley to take care of us. Bradley — who is out for the rest of the season with a knee injury, allowing the LA m...

All Hail The Fourth Estate
We find it strange that "60 Minutes" second-place curmudgeon Mike Wallace has such a fascination with Dolphins stoner Ricky Williams, but apparently he does: He's in Dolphins camp this week for another round of interviews. Remember when you used to be scared when Mike Wallace came to interview yo...

Dontrelle Willis Did Not Land On Plymouth Rock
We hadn't noticed — because we're devils, of course — but something rare happened in baseball yesterday: Two black starting pitchers went against each other. Florida's Dontrelle Willis earned his 17th win over the Dodgers' Edwin Jackson, and it has the always sane folks at Black Athlete comparing...

Larry Bowa, Civic Wonder
To combine reality and fantasy for a moment, ESPN analyst Larry Bowa has been named a Distinguished Little League Graduate award. In response, the ever-refined Larry Bowa responded through the great Yard Work:...

Today In Oddjack
What you're missing over at Oddjack, the site for both the discerning speculator and the degenerate gambler ... · You can bet on Dontrelle Willis, or you can just take a nap at lunch. · Hey, look, you can bet on the Little League World Series. That's making the world a better place. · Time to bet on...

Bill Simmons On The Brink
We make fun of our boy Bill Simmons here sometimes, but it's all done out of love, really, swear. But we'll be honest: Sometimes we think his "Ramblings" columns make him sound a little bit insane. Check out these particular examples:...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... · 11 a.m.. MLB With Buster Olney: Come on ... you KNOW who's tested positive, don't you? Just tell us. Come on. You know you want to. · Noon. MLB With Steve Phillips: Aw, man, nobody tells Steve Phillips anything. No point in even asking...

About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Watching The Office Ladies Attack The Copy Machine Repairman ... · Clemens Roughed Up In Loss. We tell you, that guy's too old to pitch. · Phils, Nats Split Huge Doubleheader. Sharing is good, you guys. Don't get greedy. · Bears, Benson Still Far Apart On Contract. The good new...

T.O. Mania Continues To Ensue
This little kid, "Jeremy," claims to be Terrell Owens' biggest fan, but one who is saddened by his current exploits. Still, he's selling T-shirts (of course) that say "F.U.T.O. (For You, T.O.)" on his Web site. We love it when Philly fans get all clever and figure out how to use the computer....

Leftovers: Fighting Your Sister For Air Time
· Reggie Miller joins Cheryl on TNT. [Hollywood Reporter] · Apparently, they play tennis in Cincinnati. [Reuters] · LeBron James testifies in suit against documentarian. [CBS Sportsline] · Soon, the Yankees will just start setting themselves on fire and eliminating the middle man. [NY Post]...

Today In MLB Blogs
We've figured out where all the Tampa Bay Devil Rays fans are: England! Yep, today's hot MLB Blog is Rays From Across The Pond, a site devoted to the least-exciting baseball team, which, after all is still better than cricket. Best post:...

More Native American Mascot Babble
As graduates of the University of Illinois at its endless debates about the merits/racism of its Chief Illiniwek, we will confess complete exhuastion when it comes to Native American mascots/symbols. We don't really care what they do, we just want them to do it and stop talking about it. Sorry. I...