il Page 866 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Is Serena Williams Going To Play In The Australian Open Or What?
The Australian Open begins in less than a month and it’s still unclear whether defending champion Serena Williams will be playing in it. Despite eager assurances from the tournament director that the 23-time grand slam champion will indeed make her historic post-baby comeback at the tournament she w...
Damian Lillard Shut Down Some Timberwolves Fans
Blazers point guard Damian Lillard was not happy after last night’s 108-107 loss to the Timberwolves, which he largely blamed on poor refereeing during a postgame rant. That frustration stayed with him long enough to cause a brief confrontation with some fans outside the arena....
Adam Henrique's New Jersey Homecoming Featured A Beautiful Goal And The "Pads Of Seduction"
When the Devils and Ducks swapped center Adam Henrique for defenseman Sami Vatanen on Nov. 30, it was a quintessential dealing-from-strength move for both teams. New Jersey had a plethora of forwards and was weak in the back, and injury-riddled Anaheim had blueliners but needed scoring. ...
Ben Simmons Is Still Not Shooting Jumpers
Playing without Joel Embiid tonight, Ben Simmons had 19 points, 12 rebounds and 10 assists. It was the fourth triple-double of his NBA career....
The Winless Browns Can't Get Anyone To Watch Them Because Of Liberalism
You won’t get these facts from the mainstream media!...
Here Are The Most George Lucas-Ass Names In The NFL
For all the things that he has gotten wrong in his career as a mythmaker and world-builder and filmmaker and Extremely Satisfied-Seeming Beard-Haver, George Lucas has gotten the big things right. He’s seemingly constantly borne aloft on a cloud of oblivious self-regard, but also he created Star Wa...
Blake Bortles, Who Is Always Trash, Cannot Be Called Trash Today<em></em>
The Jacksonville Jaguars thumped the Houston Texans 45-7 Sunday, as QB Blake Bortles threw for 326 yards and three touchdowns with no turnovers. After the game, Texans linebacker Jadeveon Clowney admitted that the Jags soundly beat his team, but wouldn’t give Bortles any credit....
Tom Brady Sidesteps Question About Whether His Quack Guru And Belichick Have Beef
The scuttlebutt around the Patriots, per recent media reports, is that Bill Belichick isn’t too fond of Tom Brady’s quack personal trainer and business partner, Alex Guerrero. (Guerrero is the “brains” behind the pseudoscience upon which Brady’s bullshit wellness program is built.) According to Pro ...
The Cardinals Recovered An Unintentional Onside Kick
Arizona’s Phil Dawson tried a chip-shot kick against Washington to start the second half, but all that usually does is prevent something really, really bad from happening against your own team. This time, however, with the receiving unit confused and the ball taking a weird hop, the Cards won a comp...
40-Year-Old Manu Ginobili Is Still Out Here Winning NBA Games
Ancient old man Manu Ginobili no longer has it in him to dominate long stretches of NBA basketball games. It turns out that’s fine—Ginobili is still a useful rotation player for the Spurs, even as a 40-year-old, even as his body looks less and less like that of an NBA player and more and more like s...
Bills Fan Knocked Cold In Collision With Good Old Human Frailty
In the crazy world of Bills fans’ insane tailgate stunts, it’s hard to know whether knocking yourself cold by overshooting the table you’re attempting to break with your falling body is a failure or a success. In Bills fan culture, is this man a fool, or a hero, or both?...
Wilfried Zaha Has Finally Arrived
Wilfried Zaha was supposed to hit the big time five years ago. At 20 years old, the Crystal Palace striker had already racked up over 100 appearances in the English second tier, and he caught the eye of Manchester United. In 2013, the Red Devils signed him for a reported 10 million pounds....
Ottawa Senators Radio Announcers Casually Discuss Grindr In Middle Of Game
I don’t have much to add to this. Tonight Ottawa shut out Montreal 3-0 in a centennial celebration game played outdoors in what looked to me like horrifically cold weather at Ottawa’s football stadium, but despite all the pomp and circumstance of the event Senators radio announcers Dean Brown and Go...
Sad, Rich Teen Gianluigi Donnarumma Has Pissed Off AC Milan Fans Again
Gianluigi Donnarumma is a teenaged, homegrown superstar-in-the-making who plays for one of the biggest clubs in the world, AC Milan. In terms of fan adoration, these facts should put him somewhere on the spectrum between “Spurs fans who’d let Harry Kane make love to their mothers if it would make hi...
Both Of Herm Edwards's Coordinators Have Left After It Was Announced They'd Stay<em></em>
When Arizona State hired Herm Edwards to coach their football team earlier this month, they planned to retain both offensive coordinator Billy Napier and defensive coordinator Phil Bennett from the previous staff. It was an unusual move, since most coaching changes involve entire staffs turning over...
The NFL’s Concussion Protocol Can Work, But Only If It’s Enforced<em></em>
What you see above is Texans quarterback Tom Savage experiencing what’s known as the fencing response after getting his head slammed into the ground, as obvious a sign of a brain injury as there can be. His Sunday should have ended right then and there, and yet just a few minutes later, Savage retur...
Argentine Soccer Club Suspended A Year And Relegated After Savagely Beating Three Referees
Late last month, Juventud de Pergamino hosted Independiente de Chivilcoy in an Argentine lower-division match. During the game, the head referee showed a Juventud player a justified red card. This event sparked a massive brawl in which a number of Juventud players and fans attacked the three referee...
Brandon Williams Carted Off Field; Has Pre-Existing Spinal Condition<em></em>
Colts tight end Brandon Williams was carted off the field at the start of the second quarter tonight. While the play responsible was not itself anything especially out of the ordinary, Williams has spinal stenosis, which can make any football injury scary and ended his college career when he was dec...
Please Do Check Out The Spicy Drama Going Down At The International Society For The History Of The Map
I’ve found, personally, an inverse correlation between how interesting an institutional power squabble is and how significant the institution in question is. A power squabble at the highest levels of a large national government, for example, is not really interesting; it will very often be terrifyin...