ill Page 504 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Iker Casillas Hopes To Become Overpaid By MLS One Day
Real Madrid legend Iker Casillas has had a rough go of it these past few years. The goalkeeper has seen his previously blemish-free legacy tarnished by the hand of a vindictive manager, lost a considerable amount of support from a fanbase that once idolized him, suffered a cratering of confidence, a...

What Are Bill Belichick's Other Horcruxes?
Seeing as how Lord Belichick inadvertently revealed the nature of one of his Horcruxes today, we thought now would be a good time to try and figure out what items house the other six pieces of his sundered soul. These are our guesses, and please feel free to share your own in the comments....

One-Seventh Of Bill Belichick's Soul Likely Hidden In Monkey Puppet
During his Media Day session, Bill Belichick received a question that was actually valuable from Patriots linebacker Jerod Mayo's daughter. She asked him what his favorite stuffed animal was, and Belichick hit her with this:...

Robert Kraft Doubles Down On Patriots' Innocence, Asks NFL For Apology
Patriots owner Robert Kraft crashed a press conference scheduled for Bill Belichick and Tom Brady in Arizona tonight, telling the assembled media "I want to make it clear that I believe unconditionally that the New England Patriots have done nothing wrong" in response to accusations that they deflat...

The Current 800-Meter World Record Holder Is 62 Today
The IAAF, always conscious of doing the right thing, tweeted greetings to Czech mid-distance runner Jarmila Kratochvilova on the occasion of her 62nd birthday. The photo they used, above, is from 1983, commemorating another remarkable anniversary: Kratochvilova's world record in the 800 meters, 1:5...

NFL Football Manufacturer Also Says Bill Belichick Is Full Of Shit
It's not just Bill Nye the Science Guy who isn't buying Bill Belichick's involved and theoretical explanation for how the Patriots's underinflated footballs might have gotten that way without any nefarious tactics. Representatives from Wilson, the company that makes the NFL's footballs, say that Bel...

Is Mayonnaise An Instrument?
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Even QVC Is Making Jokes About The Patriots' Footballs
Shut it down. All that can be said about Ballghazi has been said....

Bill Nye The Science Guy Says Bill Belichick Is Full Of Shit
Science expert Bill Nye appeared on Good Morning America today to unequivocally call out Bill Belichick as a bullshitter....

Bill Belichick: "I've Handled Dozens Of Balls" In Search To Do Science
The NFL's resident Mr. Wizard, Bill Belichick, attempted to explain away Ballghazi by running a post pattern on science this afternoon, going long on Boyle's Law and the intricacies of the New England Patriots' process of touching, rubbing, and caressing balls....

Ted Lilly Charged With Felony Insurance Fraud
Ted Lilly earned over $80 million in his baseball career, but that didn't stop him from trying to defraud Progressive Insurance out of $4,600, according to the California Department of Insurance. The Tribune in San Luis Obispo (Ca.) reports that Lilly was charged back in October with three felony co...

Dennis Scott's Young Son Socked Shaq In The Face
I somehow missed this Thursday night, but it's too funny to let pass by. That's Dennis Scott's son, Dennis III, socking Shaq in the face on the set of Inside the NBA. Scott and Shaq played together in Orlando for four seasons and I assume are friendly, but Dennis III hit Shaq a little bit harder tha...

Hey Boys And Girls: You, Too, Can Skate 40 MPH Downhill Over Jumps
Sadie Lundquist (not pictured) launched from the rose window of St. Paul's iconic cathedral, some 40 feet above ground, dropped in and started building speed. A tiny check at the top of a 10-foot cliff and she was over the edge, hitting the ice with a crunch, fighting for balance, blurring through e...


Old Man Tim Cahill Still Scoring Bonkers Goals Like This Bicycle Kick
The 35-year-old Tim Cahill is off playing with Australia in the Asian Cup they're currently hosting, and what better way to thrill the home fans than with a goal like this? Looks like Francesco Totti isn't the only ageless wonder out on these pitches....

Bill Belichick Was Trying Very Hard Not To Make Accidental Balls Jokes
At his press conference denying knowledge of deflated footballs, Patriots coach Bill Belichick discovered what we've know for days: it's very hard to talk or write about this story without making reference to "balls," and then giggling because it's very, very funny....

Baylor Played An NAIA Team For The Sake Of A Dopey Movie
There's a noticeable oddity among today's college basketball box scores: The Baylor Bears, a nationally ranked Division I team, beat the hell out of the Huston-Tillotson Rams, an NAIA team that has a few Division I schools on its schedule, but has no real business playing against the big boys. The m...


How To Conquer Sticky Spills With Patience (Or None At All)
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Throwing The Ball Off Your Defender's Hands: The New Bounce Pass
When a player bulldogs their way into the lane, it can be tough to find a teammate to pass to. With their body and focus on the hoop, most of the court isn't in their line of vision. Hitting a teammate at the top of the key, for instance, means whipping a difficult no-look pass or telegraphing their...