ill Page 505 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Aggravating Butthead Daniel Carcillo Banned Six Games For Cross-Check
Chicago Blackhawks forward Daniel Carcillo unleashed a late cross-check on Winnipeg's Mathieu Perreault Friday night, causing Perreault to leave the game early. Today, the NHL suspended Carcillo six games for the act....
Bill Belichick, Showing Off His Tube Socks
Bill Belichick, the grumpiest Teletubby, is either ready for a flood or extremely proud of his socks and shoes. This man coaches an NFL team....
Seahawks Finally Get On Board With Punter-To-Tackle Field Goal Fake
Seattle finally put a dent in Green Bay's 16-0 lead with a touchdown pass—but not from Russell Wilson, and not to a Seahawks wide receiver. No, it was punter Jon Ryan finding offensive tackle Garry Gilliam in the end zone on a fake field goal. That's what we all expected, right?...
This Is Attractive Basketball
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
One-Handed Punter Catch Is The Shrine Game's Sole Highlight
The East-West Shrine Game is underway in St. Petersburg today and it's been as dull as a college all-star game can be expected. Your sole highlight so far is this one-handed snag of a lousy snap by Colorado punter Darragh O'Neill. Special teams action! Thrilling! Tune into NFL Network for the best f...
Rex Ryan Still Doesn't Mind Not Really Having A QB
After six seasons with the popgun Jets—four of those with muse Mark Sanchez—lots of folks were surprised that Rex Ryan took a job with the similarly quarterback-challenged Bills, rather than take over the Falcons and Matt Ryan. Asked specifically about it, Ryan says having a QB is NBD....
ESPN's Dave Pasch Outs Self As Creationist After Receiving Darwin Book
We've noted previously that college basketball games called by Dave Pasch and Bill Walton on ESPN can get especially weird, but we never imagined that it would be Pasch who would lead viewers to ask themselves, "Did he really just say that?" ...
Bill Simmons Had Lena Dunham Back On His Podcast, And They Said Things
For the third time now, thought leader Lena Dunham joined multiplatform presence Bill Simmons on his podcast yesterday. It was a typically awkward and at times baffling example of audience cross-pollination between two people with little in common besides their love of their own voices. Dunham has...
Damian Lillard Gets Fed Up On Twitter Like The Rest Of Us
This one guy thought he was going to own Damian Lillard with a sick burn of a tweet:...
David Moyes Hops Into Stands, Enjoys Some Chips After Being Red Carded
It looks like the air in the Basque mountains has done David Moyes a world of good. No longer the grumpy looking human wrinkle he was for much of his time with Manchester United, Moyes has performed pretty much exactly as hoped with Real Sociedad. Today he even had some goodnatured fun after get...
Rex Ryan's Got His Swagger Back
Rex Ryan had his introductory press conference with the Buffalo Bills today, and if its tone was any indication of what Ryan's tenure as the Bills head coach is going to be like, we should all be very excited....
Reporter Asks Rex Ryan A Very Poorly Phrased Question About Defense
No, silly, his thing is feet....
Mo Williams, Of All People, Scored 52 Points Last Night
The Elias Sports Bureau says that the 15-game losing streak Wolves guard Mo Williams broke with his 52-point explosion last night is the longest ever broken by a 50-point game. The second-longest was an 11-gamer, in 1962, broken by Wilt Chamberlain. That's a neatly truth-telling factoid: Only a ...
Who Wants Jim Schwartz?
After Rex Ryan became the head coach of the Bills, defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz found himself in an odd position. Ryan wanted him to stay with the team, but Schwartz is choosing to move on and find work elsewhere. So, who wants him?...
Damian Lillard Is Fearless
The Portland Trail Blazers are a very good basketball team that is fun to watch, and human firecracker Damian Lillard is a big reason why....
Matt Cooke Cross-Checks Shea Weber In The Nose, Pays For It
Whether Matt Cooke was frustrated with a two-goal deficit or just in a mood to instigate, he cross-checked Shea Weber in the third period of Saturday night's Predators-Wild game. His stick hit Weber right in the nose, and the Predators captain proceeded to beat the fuck out of Cooke....
Rex Ryan Trades Geno For EJ
As reported by Adam Schefter and re-double-super-confirmed by the rest of Twitter's NFL beat, former Jets coach and Tarantino foot shot enthusiast Rex Ryan is expected to take the Bills head coaching job today. He'll be coaching a perpetually downtrodden AFC East team with a good defense and a hope...
North Carolina Knocks Off Fifth-Ranked Louisville On Acrobatic Layup
Nineteenth-ranked North Carolina defeated fifth-ranked Louisville in this wild finish in the Dean Dome. UNC's Marcus Page made an acrobatic layup to take the lead, but fell into the stanchion and photographers, forcing his team to play defense 4-5 for the final 8.5 seconds of the game. But Louisvi...
Tommy Craggs Is A Herb-Ass Goober Who Rides Citi Bikes Around Town
This is a true story....