ill Page 681 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The NHL Gets Its Way, And Paradoxically, So Do The Fans
I've been a vocal advocate for Jim Balsillie's plan to move the Coyotes to Ontario. But in the wake of today's ruling to reject his bid, it's clear that the judge made the right decision. The only decision....

Dancing Ump Brings Joy To Meaningless Games
Sorry Daulerio, but butt-chin down there wasn't even the most flamboyant person at a Phillies game this week. That'd be Dancin' Tim Tschida....

The Philadelphia Phillies Look Toward October Once Again
The post-WFC comedown has clearly not affected this Fightins' fan, who still has the Zook-like intensity of a man still thirsting for a championship. If the Phillies win tonight, they'll have clinched the NL East for the third straight year....

Contextual Advertising Knows Rick Reilly®'s Mind
Skip the column — Reilly reviews Chad Ochocinco's new book, dad jokes ensue — and go straight to the sponsored links at the bottom. You have chosen your advertising vehicle wisely, www.consumertipsweekly.net. [ESPN]...

The Learning Curve: Diminishing Skills
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

Lidge Meltdown Brings On Fan Meltdown
Though this video contains a dejected Phillies fan, it could be any one of us. In just three minutes, he articulates, very inarticulately, the pain we've all felt. I present to you the Überfansch, whose transcendence will justify our existence....

Russian Dude Will Build Arena, Buy Nets, Annex New Jersey (UPDATE)
Russian basketboligarch Mikhail Prokhorov has gone from maybe chipping in a few dollars to build a new arena for the Nets to offering to take over the whole dang team—and maybe the entire NBA while he's at it....

Sports Will Make Detroit Happy Again, Sportswriters Continue To Claim
Oh, look. A sportswriter has parachuted into Detroit and found a hard-luck city with a shrinking tax base in the maw of a recession whose spirits nonetheless brighten because Brandon Inge just ran out a grounder to short. Yay!...

Teams Giving Refunds For Poor Play Could Bankrupt American Sports
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Learning Curve: Phinally Philly
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

Giants' Teenage Prospect Now A Murder Suspect
Angel Villalona, a Giants top prospect, was scouted at 13 and signed by San Francisco at 16, and now, at 19, he's the prime suspect in a murder in the Dominican Republic, a top prospect of an entirely different sort....

Rex Ryan's Voicemail Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like New York Jets coach Rex Ryan, who won this weekend with one well-placed phone call. No, it wasn't to Batman....

UCF Goes All Klan Rally To Welcome Racism Victims
Central Florida hosted the University of Buffalo last night, 51 years after the Bulls were told their black players weren't welcome. How to show respect for these civil rights pioneers? Let's have everyone wear all white!...

Buffalo Columnist Outraged By T.O.'s Good Behavior
The Buffalo sports media can't wait to blast Terrell Owens for shooting his mouth off to reporters—only he hasn't done that yet, so they'll just have to blast him for being polite instead. Wait — what?...

Leodis McKelvin Forgives Teens For Unauthorized Yard Work
Bills kick returner Leodis McKelvin will not press charges against the two teenagers who defaced his lawn after his back-breaking fumble against the Patriots. He actually had the vandalism charges in hand, but then he dropped them. [ ESPN]...

Adorable Scamp Steals America's Heart, Throws It Back On The Field
The most important story in the world right now is that of Emily Monforto, the precious 3-year-old protester who led a bold and courageous anti-ballhawking demonstration at Citizens Bank Park this week....

The Jehovah's Witnesses Are Unhappy With Fellow Witness Serena Williams
"Furthering the teaching that Judgments are only for those outside the Organization, Serena Williams threatened a line judge with a dose of Jehovah's Witness authority yesterday. Her comments were blasphemous, having been used in connection with 'God.'" [Jehovahs-Witness.net]...

Simmons On Carolla: "He Has Reached Manny Ramirez Status"
Bill Simmons had himself a chat yesterday with the baccalaureates over at newly launched ESPN The Boston, and between Road House jokes, he shared a few catty thoughts about Adam Carolla — thoughts apparently deemed too catty by ESPN....

Leodis McKelvin: "I Am Going To Do It Again"
Buffalo Bills fans learned how to deal with disappointment a long time ago, so today is just another Tuesday morning for them. When you've already lost 11 in a row to one team, No. 12 isn't such a big deal....

The Sports Fella, Now Sponsored By Crappy Beer
Simmons' NFL picks column now features "The Miller Lite Great Call of the Week." ESPN.com's editor explains the product placement thusly: "Bill Simmons is the shiniest object we can offer." Next up: TMQ's Mercedes-Benz Anti-Semitic Rant of the Week. [Slate]...