im Page 356 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wallace, The Good And Humble Mule, Defeats Fancy Dressage Horses At Their Own Game
Wallace is an 11-year-old mule who used to annoy Irish villagers by eating their flowers. After a lengthy battle over his right to compete in dressage, he is now a winner and hero to common beasts....

Ryan Lochte Suspended A Year Over Incredible Instagram Self-Own
The United States Anti-Doping Agency announced this morning that jolly bro airhead Ryan Lochte would be suspended for 14 months for “his use of a prohibited method.” As the language of USADA’s release hints at, Lochte’s is not a normal doping violation, which is not surprising since Lochte is not a ...

Cyclist Kicked Out Of The Tour De France For Punching Opponent In The Face
This weekend’s Tour de France stages were relatively inert, as two Astana riders won from breakaways and the main general classification contenders opted to save their bullets for this week’s ramble through the Pyrenees. Riders have three punishing days in the mountains to look forward to this week,...

If When You Do What Is Right And Suffer For It You Patiently Endure It, This Finds Favor With God; Tim Tebow Lands On Disabled List
Future Mets savior—and possible capital-S Savior—Tim Tebow landed on the disabled list Saturday after suffering a hand injury earlier in the week. Per a WBNG report:...

Trent Dilfer Doesn't Believe In Climate Change, Or The Link Between CTE And Football
Former NFL QB and talking head Trent Dilfer—a man who once told Colin Kaepernick to “be quiet and sit in the shadows”—has struck again with some of his Good Stuff. This time, it’s regarding both climate change and the link between football and CTE. ...

LAFC's Adama Diomande Says Portland Timbers Player Called Him The N-Word During Game
LAFC striker Adama Diomande wrote in an Instagram post that an opponent on the Portland Timbers called him “the ‘N’ word” during his team’s U.S. Open Cup match on Wednesday. Diomande came on in the second half as a substitute in his team’s 3-2 win, and while he exchanged a few words with Timbers pla...

The Indians Paid A Lot For Their New Bullpen, But They Pretty Much Had To Do It
The Cleveland Indians, despite owning only the sixth-best record in the American League, have basically already clinched their spot in the playoffs, and are the only AL team that doesn’t have to worry about the wild card play-in game. Thanks to the putrid AL Central and its one (1) team with a recor...

It's 2018 And There's Nothing Wrong With Dating A San Francisco 49er
It was a little jarring to see today’s TMZ video of porn actress Kiara Mia and football player Jimmy Garoppolo enjoying a fancy dinner in Beverly Hills last night. A date with a San Francisco 49er? Couldn’t she do so much better?...

Marc Gasol Helped Rescue A Migrant From Drowning In The Mediterranean Sea
Marc Gasol has spent the last week volunteering aboard the Open Arms Proactiva, a ship operated by a Spanish NGO that works to rescue migrants from the Mediterranean Sea. According to the UN, 1,443 asylum seekers and refugees trying to make it to Europe have died on the journey so far this year, and...

The Cheesemonger Invitational Is Where Cheese Becomes A Sport<em></em><em></em>
The public-facing component of The Cheesemonger Invitational is a dairy bacchanalia where ticket-buying attendees can consume their weight in unlimited cheese. But behind the scenes at the bright, industrial space on the Brooklyn waterfront, the pros have come to compete. ...

Novak Djokovic Is Novak Djokovic Again
A fatless and notably tall-headed man going by the name “Novak Djokovic” spent a lot of his time on tennis courts over the last 18-odd months, and succeeded even in being granted entry to some important professional tournaments. There he beat some solid tennis players, even though, off the court, h...

The Dodgers Have Won The Manny Machado Sweepstakes, Finally
Manny Machado is heading west. USA Today’s Bob Nightengale reported yesterday that the Baltimore Orioles had the framework of a deal in place to trade Machado to the Dodgers for a bushel of prospects, and the trade finally went through today after a “brief medical blip” caused both parties to stay a...

Gleyber Torres's Video Isn't The Best Way To Watch Aaron Judge's All-Star Game HR, But It Is The Funniest
Gleyber Torres thought he was taking horizontal video of his teammate Aaron Judge’s dinger in last night’s All-Star Game. He was not. Good effort, though....

Cardinals GM Steve Keim Suspended For Five Weeks, Fined $200,000 After Pleading Guilty To Extreme DUI
The Arizona Cardinals announced Tuesday that general manager Steve Keim has been suspended for five weeks and fined $200,000 for driving under the influence the night of July 4, when he was arrested at a checkpoint in Chandler, Arizona with a blood alcohol level of 0.193, more than twice the legal l...

Daring Mountain Rescue Features Helicopter Parking Its Butt Right On The Snow
Oregon Army National Guard personnel in this big-ass helicopter extracted a wayward climber and the six rescuers that had been sent after him from the summit of Oregon’s iconic Mt. Hood on Friday. The man had called local police from the summit on Thursday and told them he was initially planning to ...

Let’s Remember Some Guys: WrestleMania Vol. II
One of my favorite villainous wrestlers when I was a kid was Rick “The Model” Martel. The gimmick was simple: Martel was a model, and he thought he was better than you....

Antoine Griezmann May Be The Last, Biggest Derrick Rose Fan On Earth
French striker Antoine Griezmann—noted NBA and, specifically, Derrick Rose fan who unfortunately also once painted his entire body black while donning an afro and Harlem Globetrotters uniform—won a World Cup on Sunday. And he played a huge role in the final, delivering the free kick that led to Fran...

Donald Trump Pauses Historically Embarrassing Press Conference To Toss A Soccer Ball At His Wife
Donald Trump just finished up a joint press conference with Russian president Vladimir Putin, during which he has stopped just short of offering to lay down on the stage and suck Putin’s toes. He also interacted strangely with a soccer ball before bouncing it in the direction of his wife:...

There's A New Co-Leader In The Manny Machado Sweepstakes
Manny Machado homered in his first-at bat, his 24th of the year, and then left the game after the fourth inning, because of wet grass following a rain delay. Baltimore manager Buck Showalter said, without outright saying, what we all know: that Machado is currently more valuable to the Orioles on th...