im Page 380 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Adam Henrique's New Jersey Homecoming Featured A Beautiful Goal And The "Pads Of Seduction"
When the Devils and Ducks swapped center Adam Henrique for defenseman Sami Vatanen on Nov. 30, it was a quintessential dealing-from-strength move for both teams. New Jersey had a plethora of forwards and was weak in the back, and injury-riddled Anaheim had blueliners but needed scoring. ...
Ben Simmons Is Still Not Shooting Jumpers
Playing without Joel Embiid tonight, Ben Simmons had 19 points, 12 rebounds and 10 assists. It was the fourth triple-double of his NBA career....
Christian Yelich And J.T. Realmuto Are Fed Up With The Marlins
The Miami Marlins spent the last two weeks trading most of their players worth a shit elsewhere, and now, the rest of their players who are worth a shit are reportedly unhappy with the team’s management....
Someone Explain To Me The Alien Alloys Before I Fucking Explode
Hello, hi, yes, hello. We’ve all seen this, right? This story in the New York Fucking Times about the Pentagon’s $22 million Oh Shit There Might Be Aliens program? We’ve all read it? We’ve all engaged with the evidence within the story, written in part by two journalists who have won Pulitzer Prizes...
Independent Review: Edmonton Didn't Follow Its Own Policies Before Boxer Tim Hague Died In The Ring<em></em>
Ex-UFC heavyweight Tim Hague died this summer two days after getting knocked out by Adam Braidwood in a boxing match. Hague, who was 34 at the time of his death, had been working as a teacher and was supposedly retired from boxing when he took the fight against WBU heavyweight champion Braidwood on ...
<i>Boston Globe</i> Report On ESPN Reveals Pregnancy Discrimination, Other Gendered Horrors<em></em>
A report published today by the Boston Globe details sexual harassment and gender discrimination at ESPN, including a former SportsCenter anchor feeling forced to stay on air while she was having a miscarriage so as not to jeopardize her job and another sending shirtless pictures of himself to a you...
How Steven Seagal Became A Useful Puppet For Post-Soviet Dictators
On a crisp November morning in Moscow, Steven Seagal found himself within the walls of the Grand Kremlin Palace, seated across from Vladimir Putin, the most powerful man in the Russian Federation. Dressed in a blood-red kimono and black trousers—a throwback to his days as a martial artist—Seagal obs...
Warren Sapp Defends Himself Against Sexual Harassment Allegations By Posting Photo Of Vibrator<em></em>
Warren Sapp was among the NFL Network employees accused of sexual harassment in Jami Cantor’s wrongful termination lawsuit against NFL Network. The Hall of Famer (who was fired by the network in 2015 after a solicitation arrest) made Cantor watch him urinate and gave her sex toys as presents, accord...
Tom Thibodeau Is Destruction
In his stints as an associate head coach in Boston and head coach in Chicago, Tom Thibodeau made his name and his career with a set of genuinely smart and hugely influential defensive tactics, leveraging the NBA’s relaxed rules against zone defense to essentially eliminate what had been the dominant...
Report: Marlins Continue Setting Themselves On Fire, Trade Marcell Ozuna To Cardinals
The Miami Marlins, an alleged major league club in the NL East, are carrying on with their plan to strip the franchise bare and trade off all their players worth a damn. Giancarlo Stanton is a Yankee, Dee Gordon is a Mariner, everyone else is available, and now Marcell Ozuna is a Cardinal. Jesse San...
"They're Not Gonna Keep 'Em Off The Field Tonight!"
Just go with it: ...
Report: Aw, Man, Shohei Ohtani Has Mild Ligament Damage In His Elbow
The words “elbow” and “damage” can easily be terrifying when used together in any headline about a pitcher, much less one who could potentially be among the greatest players of his generation and certainly among the most fascinating, but do not fret (that much). Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports has repor...
And Now For Some Stupidly Bad Defense From Karl-Anthony Towns
Joel Embiid is talented and charming and big, a combination of qualities which can reasonably be quite daunting in anyone, but especially so in a basketball player. Karl-Anthony Towns’s strategy for handling all that during the second quarter tonight was just to panic-jump, arms outstretched, at a r...
Report: Manny Machado Is For Sale
Is the hot stove hot? Let’s see here, yes, it looks like the stove is simmering a bit. ...
Marlins Continue Begging Other Teams To Rob Their Clubhouse
Time for some wholly unsurprising news! The Marlins front office’s brazen salary dump is continuing apace. Days after trading Giancarlo Stanton to the Yankees in exchange for a handful of trampled sunflower seed husks and one (1) cup of moist infield dirt, they’re now reportedly shifting their focus...
Giancarlo Stanton Acknowledges That The Marlins Are A Clown Show
Giancarlo Stanton was officially introduced as the newest member of the New York Yankees today, and he didn’t bother feigning any reverence for the team he spent the first eight years of his career with. Under normal circumstances, that might be seen as callous, or just poor form. But Stanton has ju...
Derek Jeter Won't Even Show His Face
Over the weekend, the Miami Marlins sent Giancarlo Stanton to the Yankees for a package of players that is honestly not even worth mentioning here. The transaction that took place was made in such profoundly bad faith that “trade” seems too kind a word to attach to it. This was nothing more than the...
Report: Feds Shut Down $2.5 Million NFL Survivor Pool Operation
The Feds this week busted up and shut down a sprawling NFL survivor pool operation with contests operating in the millions of dollars, according to a report from ESPN’s Darren Rovell. Ron Kronengold and Mike Bernstein reportedly ran several contests per year at Ron & Mike’s Football Pool over the co...
Reports: Giancarlo Stanton Will Be Traded To The Friggin' Yankees
Giancarlo Stanton, heretofore an easily likable dong-mashing baseball hero, will complete a dramatic heel turn and join the disgusting New York Yankees, according to multiple reports. ...
Impact Wrestling Tries To Earn Goodwill By Giving Up Matt Hardy's Gimmick
As part of its attempt to move on under new ownership and management, Impact Wrestling announced last week that it will be making new concessions to attract talent. After months of negative fan reaction when the company wouldn’t let Matt Hardy use his popular “Broken Matt” gimmick in WWE, Impact is...