im Page 457 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Manny Machado Dinged A Dong Straight Out Of The Yard
Observe a moment of silence for the baseball destroyed by Manny Machado last night. The Orioles infielder bashed it to the train tracks at the Astros’ park....
Evgeni Malkin Slashed Ryan Callahan In His Penis And Balls
Ryan Callahan slashed Evgeni Malkin’s hands with his stick in the first period of Game 6, so the Pittsburgh center responded by taking a two-handed whack at Callahan’s down-belows. As Callahan’s reactions shows, he connected....
Judge: Colleen Dominguez's Bias Suit Against Fox Sports Can Proceed
A federal judge has ruled that the gender and age discrimination lawsuit filed by former FS1 reporter Colleen Dominguez against the sports network can go forward....
Ichiro Still Rules
Ichiro Suzuki should be making us sad. He’s 42 years old, a wisp of the player he used to be, and currently in year two of the Joe Montana-in-Kansas City phase of his career. An old-ass former star playing out his final days for a no-account team like the Marlins, in a stadium as garish as it is con...
The First 4 Races At Pimlico Killed 2 Horses Today
This fine animal, name of Homeboykris, won the first race at Pimlico today, hit the winner’s circle, and then flat-out died on the way back the barn, probably of a heart attack. He was 9 years old, and has won 15 races in his career. Three races later, in the final turn, a 4-year-old named Pramedya ...
Root for the Baltimore Orioles This Year. Or Don't. Suit Yourself.
This is part of an occasional series of slightly belated MLB season previews....
Alternate Titles For Tim Tebow's Upcoming Book
Failed NFL quarterback Tim Tebow has gone and done what all famous white people in their 20s seem to be doing these days: he’s written a book about himself (this is actually Tebow’s second such book). The title of this book is SHAKEN: Discovering Your True Identity in the Midst of Life’s Storms, and...
Brandon Phillips Freaked Juan Uribe Out With A Fake Tag
Major League Baseball is apparently all about fun and mischief tonight, as another NL second baseman tricked a baserunner with a deke. Daniel Murphy got Yoenis Cespedes with a fake throw earlier tonight, and Brandon Phillips caught Juan Uribe loafing off second base with his empty glove. Poor Uribe ...
MLS Keeper Nick Rimando's Fucked-Up Finger Is A Good Party Trick
Real Salt Lake goalkeeper Nick Rimando shared an Instagram photo of his hand yesterday, and his pinkie looked like it’s trying to get away from the rest of his hand. You were warned:...
Forget The Playoffs, All We Need Is Rajon Rondo Crushing NBA Old-Timers At Connect Four
Rajon Rondo really likes Connect Four. He treats all those who dare challenge him to a game, including small children, with the same viciousness he exhibits on the court. He won’t even show mercy to an NBA Hall-of-Famer....
Phil Mickelson Named In Insider Trading Complaint
Golfer Phil Mickelson was named today in an insider complaint by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, two years after an investigation was first reported. The SEC alleges that Mickelson profited $931,000 from non-public information after buying and selling stock in the Dean Foods company....
That Time Steph Curry Stepped On Randy Foye's Soul
Randy, welcome to the Steph Curry Ruined My Life support group. Why don’t you grab a coffee and a donut and have a seat next to Paul Allen....
Birds, Ranked
Drew ranked the lamest birds over at GQ.com today, and we’re all fairly pissed at him for turning our work chatroom into a warzone filled with bird takes for a piece he didn’t even publish on this site. (Shout out to Burneko for his all-time terrible opinion, “seagulls are good.”)...
Steve Delabar Walked In Four Straight Runs And It Was The Saddest Shit
You ready for some grim baseball, my friends? Then let me tell you about Steve Delabar, the Reds reliever who walked four straight batters with the bases loaded last night....
Internet Man Flays Post-Human ESPN Shithead Darren Rovell By Tunelessly Singing His Dumb Tweets (UPDATE: There's More)
Post-human business doof Darren Rovell did some tweets tonight, like he does whenever a dollar farts. They were bad and bland in their undressed form, but Twitter user @trillballins spiced them up with dramatic vocals and now I love them. Consider this asinine joke our dude probably drafted a week a...
LeBron James Murders Rim
This evening, an innocent (maybe) basketball ring in Cleveland, Ohio was murdered by LeBron James, after he turned DeMarre Carroll into a garden statue and churned into the lane alone....
Sixers Win NBA Draft Lottery They Claim Was Not Rigged And The Ghost Of The Process Lives
Despite all assurances that the Sixers did not know that they would win this evening’s draft lottery, the ping pong balls bounced in their favor, and they’ll get the first crack at next month’s NBA draft. Was it rigged? Who knows. All we can say now is that there is some convincing evidence that Dik...
Basketball Teen Tries To Stunt, Gets Righteously Owned
Damn, I guess Mark Jackson was right. Rude-ass Steph Curry has taught the teens of America that it’s cool to turn your back on a three and celebrate before the shot even goes in, and the teens are being punished for it:...
Don't Declaw Your Cat
If you get a cat—and, you should, cats are fine—you should be prepared for them to scratch on everything in your home (except, confoundingly, the scratching post). You can and should combat this by keeping their claws clipped to a safe and sanitary length, just as you do your own nails, or by purcha...
Two Alabama Football Players Arrested On Drug And Weapons Charges
Alabama offensive tackle Cam Robinson and cornerback Hootie Jones were arrested in Louisiana early this morning. Both were charged with marijuana possession, and Robinson was also charged with felony illegal possession of stolen firearms....