im Page 503 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Crying Villanova Piccolo Player, Now With Musical Accompaniment
We couldn't let the saddest piccolo player just go with a GIF, so here, by request, is a super-slow-mo rendition set to the proper musical backing....
Ravens Lineman John Urschel Loves Math More Than You Love Anything
Baltimore Ravens offensive lineman John Urschel recently had a math paper—titled "A Cascadic Multigrid Algorithm for Computing the Fiedler Vector of Graph Laplacians"—published in the Journal of Computational Mathematics. You think you love math? You don't love math. John Urschel loves math....
If You Like Drama, Root for Maryland
Freshman Melo Trimble leads Maryland in games played, minutes, points, scoring average, free throws, free throw percentage, assists and steals. But Trimble's game is at least as pleasing to non-analytics obsessives. Early into a season in which his team earned a reputation for thriving in cliffhan...
Madonna Needs A Nap
Madonna needs a friend who will grab her by the shoulders and ask the hard questions, like, "Are you sure this is such a good idea?" She has needed a friend like this for many, many years, and no, the help does not count. Sure, I know she has a new album out and all that, but she really needs to dri...
Former Temple Football Player Arrested On Human Trafficking Charges
Baltimore police have arrested two men, 25-year-old Matt Brown and 30-year-old Anthony Leon Eley Jr., on human trafficking charges. Brown is the son of a prominent Baltimore attorney, and was an all-conference football player at Temple University....
The Timberwolves Signed A Guy Because He Was Nearby
The closest race in the NBA is at the bottom, where Minnesota and New York are neck and neck for the league's worst record—and the best shot at the No. 1 overall draft pick—with Philly and Los Angeles not far ahead. Last night's T-Wolves/Knicks tangle at MSG had the feel of a championship game—a poo...
Tim Howard Kinda Just Chills With His Hands Down, Watches Goal Go In
I know. I know. It was a great goal from Dynamo Kiev's Andriy Yarmolenko. Someone should've, could've stepped to the ball, at some point. Tim Howard probably couldn't have gotten to it anyway. I know. That's all out of the way....
Failure To Pay Office Pool Winnings Leads To Sad, Overwrought Email
This overwrought email, sent by the winner of a March Madness office pool to the irresponsible pool administrator who was dragging his or her feet with payouts, comes to us from a tipster who tells us that he dusts it off every March for a good chuckle. We don't blame him....
Kyrie Irving Made Timofey Mozgov's Job Very Easy
Cavs center Timofey Mozgov scored 17 points on 7-of-8 shooting while playing just 17 minutes in last night's rout of the Nets. That's an efficient-ass game! He's got Kyrie Irving, who set up five of those seven made buckets with some beautiful passing, to thank for it....
My Beloved Stuffed Animal Needs A Bath, And I'm A Nervous Wreck
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Bernard Pierce To Cop After DUI: "I'm Getting Cut." And He Is!
Running back Bernard Pierce was released by the Baltimore Ravens today, hours after he was arrested on charges that included driving under the influence of alcohol and speeding. The move probably didn't surprise Pierce who, according to a police statement of probable cause, asked the officer who pul...
All Eyez On Me: Kendrick Lamar's Dense, Neurotic <i>To Pimp A Butterfly</i>
Kendrick Lamar doesn't make anything easy. Sunday night, he briefly broke the constantly breaking internet by issuing his new album, To Pimp a Butterfly, a full week early on iTunes and multiple streaming services; by Monday afternoon, iTunes had both frantically pulled it back down and just as ...
MASL Player Headbutts Opponent After Playoff Match; Team Cuts Him
The Baltimore Blast beat the Missouri Comets 10-7 in Sunday's particularly tense MASL playoff match, but after the Blast's 2-0 series sweep, Comets defender Andre Braithwaite walked up to Blast defender Pat Healey and headbutted him in the face....
Damn, These Koalas Are Pretty Good Wrestlers
I would have never expected two koalas to be such adept sports animals, but these little buddies are good as hell at wrasslin'. ...
This Is How Being The Biggest Dude In The World Helps You Score Goals
When Adebayo Akinfenwa last dropped-kicked our door down and announced his presence, he showed off his nose for goal with a tap-in against Liverpool in the F.A. Cup. It was a perfectly fine striker's goal, but it wasn't exactly what you'd hoped to see from a guy with a 97 strength rating in FIFA. Th...
![Report: The Philadelphia Eagles Are Holding A Workout For Tim Tebow [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/jgfzruczs7pvttmah4qs.jpg)
Report: The Philadelphia Eagles Are Holding A Workout For Tim Tebow [Update]
This is not a drill!...
Bill Simmons Questions ESPN's Support Of Grantland
At SXSW, Bill Simmons gave a legitimately interesting interview to Re/code. It features Simmons sliding from passive-aggression to bluntness, but always railing against his ESPN bosses for not giving Grantland the funding or credit he believes it deserves. ...
You Should Be Paying Attention To Tink
Tink is a Chicago triple-threat singer, rapper, and songwriter who has been gradually making her rise on the rap blogs and niche-music internet over the past two years or so. "Ratchet Commandments" is the first single off her upcoming major-label, Timbaland-produced debut record. It's great, but it'...
Ray McDonald Claims He's Going To Sue Woman Who Accused Him Of Rape
Former San Francisco 49ers defensive end Ray McDonald has told ESPN that he plans on filing a defamation lawsuit against the woman who accused him of raping her last year. ...
College Ump Takes Nasty Foul Tip Straight To The Mask
Home plate umpire Jim Garman got absolutely rocked by a foul tip in today's West Virginia-Texas baseball game. The swing from Michael Cantu deflected the ball directly into Garman's face, knocking his mask off and sending Garman to the dirt. After a minute of being examined by both team's trainers, ...