im Page 722 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Belligerent Galloping Lady Demonstrates The Funniest Way To Use A Treadmill
We can't decide whether or not the belligerent gallop-jog is funnier on loop, as you'll see above, or as a single belligerent gallop-jog, which can be seen here. But this woman definitely eats elliptical girls for breakfast. Our only regret is that the tipster, Marc, did not capture the moment whe...
Watch Bemused Florida Coach Will Muschamp Ask An Analogically Clumsy Reporter "What's A Padawan?"
In journalism school, as far as I know, they don't teach you to begin your SEC press conference questions with "Excuse the Star Wars reference, but..." You're supposed to inquire along the lines of "How do you stop that guy, coach," and "Would you like to score more points in the second half?" Ala...
The Fan Who Threw A Banana At A Black Hockey Player Has Been Arrested
Police in London, Ontario, held a press conference this afternoon to announce the arrest of 26-year-old London resident Christopher Moorhouse for allegedly throwing a banana at Wayne Simmonds of the Philadelphia Flyers. The incident happened when Simmonds, one of the NHL's few black players, was at...
HOLY SHIT TOM BRADY CUT HIS HAIR
What does that face tell you? He looks guilty to me. Is this some form of self-inflicted punishment? Or is he punishing us? Did Gisele make him do it? Did Belichick make him do it? Did Jesus get jealous and make him do it? Did the Bills make him do it? Did ESPN The Magazine make him do it? Will the ...
Bubba Starling, Golden Boy Royals Prospect, Busted For Underage Drinking
From the Kansas City Star: "Outfielder Bubba Starling was one of three Royals' prospects cited last Saturday for underage drinking...Starling, 19, was a multi-sport standout at Gardner-Edgerton High School prior to his selection as the fifth overall pick in the June draft. He chose the Royals over a...
Cleveland’s Sunday Tailgate Scene Also Included A Couple Who Ditched Their 9-Year-Old Foster Child
Anna and Earnest Fugate are fans of the type of Cleveland Browns fans who apparently like to fight while "partying" in the muni-lot. You know, that place where ""society devolves to its lowest point each week."...
Black Hockey Player Pays The Bigotry Forward, Calls Sean Avery A "Fucking Faggot"
Just over a week ago, Wayne Simmonds—one of the few black players in the NHL—had a banana thrown at him during an exhibition game in London. Yesterday in Philadelphia, after a slight altercation during a preseason game against the Rangers at Wells Fargo Center, Simmonds allegedly called Sean Avery...
The NFL's Evolution, As Measured By Dan Dierdorfisms
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Rihanna's Bikini Top Offends Northern Ireland Farmer In Quaintest Dispute Ever
Well, this is adorable, and certainly newsworthy: Rihanna, who has probably worn a bikini top for ninety percent of her adult life, recently had "a conversation" with a Northern Ireland farmer named Alan Graham to discuss her wardrobe. As a result of the conversation, Rihanna will probably not wea...
Atlanta Braves Have Had A Rough September, According To Newspaper's Middle School Line Graph
This is a real graph that accompanied a real article in the real Atlanta Journal-Constitution today. The Braves lost to the Phillies 4-2 last night, and are now just a game ahead of the Cardinals for the NL wild card—all thanks to this carefully-plotted "September Swoon." It's really exciting that t...
Football-Recruit Impersonator Gets Arrested For DWI In Real Coach's Car
"A teenager claimed to be a University of New Mexico Lobo football recruit as police arrested him for DWI in head coach Mike Locksley's vehicle. Joshua Butts, 19 was pulled over in a dark blue SUV near University Stadium moments before Saturday's kickoff. The vehicle is registered to Locksley and h...
Watch Marquis Maze's Incredible 83-Yard Punt Return For An Alabama Touchdown
Marquis Maze goes back and forth across the field slalom-style en route to an 83-yard punt return for a touchdown. Alabama currently leads Arkansas 31-14....
This Week In Magnificent Mugshots
This is Nicholas Fiumetto. He's one of three 19-year-olds from Covina, Cal. who got caught stealing 30 packs of Tecate the other day. Well, that's an oversimplification. Here's a portion of the L.A. Times story about Fiumetto et al's attempted flight from justice:...
Former Orioles Pitcher Mike Flanagan Threatened To Commit Suicide Several Times Before Doing So
The Baltimore Sun is reporting, based on police records released via Public Information Act request, that Cy Young Award winner and Orioles broadcaster Mike Flanagan's suicide did not come as a complete surprise to those closest to him....
They Cried Tears Of Joy And Praised The Heavens When The Brewers Clinched A Division Title
Your morning roundup for Sept. 24, a day you no longer have to worry about getting hit by a falling satellite unless you already got hit, in which case wouldn't be reading this because you're not alive to fret. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Former UConn Star Tate George Charged In $2 Million Ponzi Scheme
Tate George is best known for the play you see above, a turnaround buzzer-beater off a length-of-the-court pass from Scott Burrell that beat Clemson in the Sweet 16 of the 1990 NCAA tournament's East Regional. It happened two years before Christian Laettner's shot to beat Kentucky, and it's one of t...
Anyone Care What David Brooks Has To Say About Amateurism And The NCAA?
Other than the fact that Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy somehow believes there was once a time of chivalric amateurism, and other than the part where he relishes the supposed irony of lefties advocating capitalism-friendly reform (Saul Alinsky and Marvin Miller would like a word) and also the part where he...
Orlando "Zeus" Brown, Tackle Best Known For Suing The NFL After Taking A Penalty Flag In His Eye, Dead At 40
Brown, who spent most of his career with the Ravens, got hit with Jeff Triplette's flag while playing for the Browns in 1999. He missed nearly four seasons and received a $15-20 million settlement from the NFL....
Fan Throws A Banana Peel At Black Player In Tonight's Flyers/Red Wings Game
Some bottom-of-the-barrel jitbag chose tonight's NHL preseason game in London, Ontario between the Philadelphia Flyers and Detroit Red Wings to remind us all of racism's effects on black hockey players like Wayne Simmonds....
Today In Marcus Camby Got Arrested With Weed In A School Zone News
"Officers pulled over Camby's black Porsche around midnight when he was spotted driving north on Cullen Boulevard with a sun screen device blocking the front window. ... Officers say they noticed the smell of marijuana. Camby gave permission for the car to be searched and police said they discovere...