im Page 763 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Weekend Winner: Madison Bumgarner
There isn't much to say about Madison Bumgarner's performance last night that wasn't captured in the three strikeout pitches that briefly turned Vladimir Guerrero into Rob Deer. Watch....
Zach Galifianakis Will Probably Smoke Even More Pot On TV If California Legalizes It
On Friday's Real Time, Out Cold funnyman Zach Galifianakis smoked a joint during a panel discussion of California's Proposition 19 ballot initiative. In related news, Fox News's Margaret Hoover probably listens to a lot of Miles Davis on her days off....
Watch Boomer Esiason And Shannon Sharpe Take A Bad Joke To Absurd Lengths
The NFL pregame shows are not funny, yet everyone laughs (more on that in a bit). However, every now and then, one of the terrible jokes takes its terribleness to a new dimension and becomes an absurdist gem....
"Thriller" On Ice Much Better Than "Thriller" In Filipino Prison
You know, agility-wise. We're not sure why someone would perform the "Thriller" dance on the ice, but when you think about it, why wouldn't you perform the "Thriller" dance on ice? [Puck Daddy]...
Somebody Is Desperately Seeking Tim Tebow's Poo
Tim Tebow's pro team had a game across the Atlantic today, so I have no idea why the president of a portable-shitter company is talking about rooting around for Tebow dung. But Scott Taylor of Advanced Sanitation is....
Ashton, Demi In Sticky Recruiting Situation With Iowa Men's Basketball Team
According to the Des Moines Register, the University of Iowa has "admitted NCAA recruiting violations that involve husband-wife film stars Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore." Translation: They let a couple of recruits meet the "actor" and "actress."...
Texas H.S. Football Team Loses 12-OT Game
With a playoff berth on the line, the Nacogdoches Dragons and Jacksonville Indians were tied at 28 at the end of regulation Friday night. Final score: 84-81....
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Pape Sy
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the occasional feature wherein we examine fan-made video love letters to athletes and their wildly inappropriate soundtracks. It's been a while, but we're back with a doozy: Atlanta Hawks rookie Pape Sy set to some opera....
The John Wall Dance Makes An Appearance On <em>The Daily Show</em>
The John Wall Dance is one of my favorite things, probably because it's absurd and easy for white people to replicate. Unfortunately, Wall's debut came in a blowout loss yesterday in Orlando. Thursday threatened to be a John Wall Dance-less day. Until......
Brad Richards Shot A Hole In The Glass Last Night
This slap shot by the Stars' Brad Richards was different than your everyday slap shot in that it BROKE CLEAR THROUGH THE FREAKING GLASS. [Sportress of Blogitude]...
Eli Manning's Wife Will Soon Have Two Children To Care For
St. Vincent's is no longer, but there's no stopping the Eli & Abby Manning Birthing Center: the pair is reportedly expecting a baaaaaaby. (Knowing Eli, it was a low wobbler past coverage.) Peyton will not be the cool uncle. [NYPost]...
San Franciscans Continue To Smoke Weed Unabashedly In Front Of Texas Reporters
Through two games, this is easily the most interesting aspect of the World Series. H/T Kyle....
Uribe's Homer Helps Lead Giants To Game One Victory, California Smokers To Free Doobies
A medical marijuana dispensary in San Francisco is offering patients free joints every time a Giant hits a home run in the World Series. Commendably, Tim Lincecum was still in the dugout immediately following Juan Uribe's fifth-inning blast....
The Ol' "Run Over The Ref After Getting Ejected" Trick Fails Once Again
We've all been there before: kicked out of an amateur soccer game and so pissed off at the ref we hop in our car, drive onto the field, and try to run that bastard down. Wait, no, that's insane....
The Nerdiest Thing You'll Ever See
This is...this is just excellent. And keep in mind, Deadspin commentariat: this is how the rest of the world sees you....
What We Have Learned About Brian Wilson And The Machine (UPDATE)
Yesterday, we alerted you to our investigation into Brian Wilson's strange relationship with someone called The Machine. We have since received many leads about the identity of the Machine and just what it all means....
Silencing Joe Buck And Tim McCarver: A Simple Tech Solution To Our Crappy World Series Announcers
Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, Fox's World Series broadcast team, will begin inflicting themselves on a national television audience tonight. Thankfully, technology offers recourse that doesn't involve throwing something heavy at the TV: just synch up the broadcast with radio commentary....
Fist-Bumping, Stationary-Bike-Riding Yao Ming Is The Best
Between this and this, Yao Ming is fast becoming one of the most interesting people to watch doing calisthenics. [via @jose3030]...
This Is Easily The Best Unicycle Trick Video We've Ever Seen
This video has a man jumping up a set of stairs while riding a unicycle. I really shouldn't have to say anything more. [Boing Boing]...
Chad Ochocinco's Pregnant Pigeon Saga Was A Bald-Faced Lie
This...this is pretty much the most blatant betrayal in the history of sports. We've all watched, rapt, as Ochocinco's pregnant pigeon escaped, returned, and finally gave birth. But we were all hoodwinked by Chad's dastardly deception. J'accuse!...