im Page 764 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Paul The Octopus Couldn't Predict His Own Death
Paul passed away peacefully in his sleep this morning, after a distinguished career as a World Cup prognosticator. He was 2. He is surived by his closest relative, Squiddly Diddly. In lieu of flowers, please send tartar sauce. [CNN]...
Weekend Winner: The Guy Who Won A PGA Event With A Goddamned Hole-In-One
Going into the fourth sudden-death playoff hole, tied with two other players, Jonathan Byrd teed off. That was all he needed....
Dong Meteorologist Would Prefer You Not Post Dong Pics/Links On His Facebook Page
To Nick Kraynok, these things are good: golf, jet skiing, playing the guitar, rooting for Pittsburgh professional teams and telling the people of San Angelo, Texas the weather....
U.S. Swim Team Member Dies During Open-Water Event
On Thursday, 26-year-old U.S. national swimming team member Fran Crippen posted on Facebook that he was "in Dubai for the final World Cup of the season and then off to Italy for vacation!"...
Animal-Loving Jets Fan Fornicates With A Dog Named Snowball Twice
It's the love that shan't speak it's name: Likely windowless-van owner takes a shine to his tenant's two-year-old, 23-pound male Shiba Inu dog named Snowball and gets amorous not once, but twice....
A-Rod Finally Worth $252 Million To The Texas Rangers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
This Is What Should Happen Whenever You Play A Sports Video Game
We've all been there: Playing Bulls versus Blazers on SNES, Shasta'd out of your mind, Kevin Duckworth at the line. He misses. You lose. Wouldn't you like a chance to see Duckworth—the real Duckworth—atone?...
Of Course Christopher Walken Uses A Typewriter
You are now reading this in Christopher Walken's voice....
Your "Pitchin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" Phillies-Giants Open Thread
Lincecum! Halladay! Giants! Phillies! Wine bars! Yuengling! It's your NLCS Game 5 open thread!...
Why Is Shaq Acting Like A Statue In Boston?
The Big Aristotle headed out to Harvard Square today and...stood still. For some reason. He announced his plans on Twitter, of course, and crowds soon engulfed the struggling actor and sometime law enforcement official....
'Rally Monkey' Creator Destitute, Selling World Series Ring
Former Angels production manager Robert Castillo has been out of work since being fired in 2007, and is asking for $19,000 for his 2002 World Series ring. The monkey, meanwhile, spent all of his earnings on hookers and blow. [CNBC]...
Dwight Howard Could Probably Be In One Of Orlando's Top 15 Wedding Bands
Dwight Howard: fearsome defender, likable enough guy, and...cover band front man. Yes, that's right. Dwight—with a full child-backed band—is releasing an album of covers from illustrious acts like The Black Eyed Peas and Smash Mouth. It's terrible. [Sparty and Friends]...
Ever Wonder What It's Like When The Police Get You Stoned And Make You Drive Around?
But, you know, without living in some crazy, entrapment-filled police state? I hadn't either, but thankfully LA Times columnist Steve Lopez got to smoke some dank shit from some CHiPs—ha, chips—officers and then drive around for his and our amusement....
At Least One Yankee Fan Saw Some Action: This Old Guy Groping His Ladyfriend
The email came in: "You have any interest in photos of an old man who had his hand down a lady-friend's shirt, cupping, rubbing her breast for close to 2 hours while watching the Yankees game last night?" I would say so....
An Examination Of Obnoxious Yankees Fandom In Three Parts
It's easy to say that Yankees fans are boorish and uncouth, but so are most teams' fans. However, nobody does boorish and uncouth on national TV like Yankees fans....
AC Milan-Real Madrid Match Interrupted With Fan On The Field Zaniness
Infamous pitch invader Jimmy Jump—not to be confused with the Laurence Fishburne chraracter from the Schooly D-heavy King of New York—claimed another scalp last night during the titanic clash between AC Milan and Real Madrid in the Champions League....
Your Religion/Textile/Baserunning Metaphor Of The Day
Anyone want to explain this one? "What appeared to be 90 feet, teased from the fabric of New York Yankees resolve, with each tug brought more yards of grace."...
Video: We Ask Jose Canseco About His Missing Chandeliers
Earlier today, I scuttled over to 8th and Broadway in Manhattan. The goal: ask Jose Canseco if he'd gotten his "chandeleers" back. Was it a success? Yes. Yes, it was. As much as anything involving Jose Canseco can be called a success....
Everything That's Wrong With College Tailgates In One Picture
This picture, snapped sometime before Saturday's Ohio State-Wisconsin game, is so, so bad, it has to be a joke. Right?...
Gerard Butler's Michigan State Weekend
Movie Spartan Gerard Butler was once in a great trailer that became an OK movie called 300. So it makes perfect sense for him—while not in character—to pump up various Michigan State crowds like he did this weekend....