im Page 806 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sissies, Drunk Yoga And The Last Pure Football Game: A Dispatch From Harvard-Yale
Deadspin correspondent Craig Fehrman went to the 126th edition of Harvard-Yale, where he confronted both the overwrought mythology of The Game and the overexposure of at least one penis....

Cold-Cocked Clausen Coddled By QB Coaches
A couple of minor updates to the Clausen Affair. He's wearing a black visor (usually not allowed at Notre Dame) during practice and the AD says, "He just got coldcocked by somebody, and we're very disturbed by that." [ESPN]...

The Perfect Gift For The Kris Brown Fan In Your Life
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Baby Tressel Is A Sharp Dresser
Concerned reader Robert is worried that regular Mangino won't be with us much longer, so his baby form will go wanting. So he presents the world with Baby Tressel. Thoughts?...

The Jimmy Clausen Fight: Alternative Histories
The internet has graciously offered up several different explanations of what really happened at CJ's Pub last Saturday night. At this point, they are all equally plausible/ludicrous, but we present these unvarnished tales so that you might pass impartial judgment....

Jimmy Clausen Had A Rough Weekend
All Jimmy Clausen wanted to do was enjoy a nice post-game meal with his family and teammates, but an angry Notre Dame fan had to go and remind the QB that he lost to Connecticut....by punching him in the face....

Yale Football Coach Out-Crazies Bill Belichick
Since our nation wasted approximately 82 million man-hours of productivity last week arguing about that stupid fourth-and-two, it's a bit surprising that we the people aren't more enraged by Yale's Tom Williams for raising the stakes for bonehead coaches everywhere....

All Steeler Fans Are Basically Puppy Murderers
A Pittsburgh area man is in jail this morning after he kicked a 13-week-old pit bull to death because it wouldn't walk next to him and he had a Steeler game to watch. Obviously, Troy Polamalu hates animals!...

TV Guide Writers Captivated By Any Ex-Dukie Matchup (Update)
What was the most compelling storyline of this weekend's Orlando-Boston showdown? The heated rivalry between J.J. Redick and Shelden Williams that dates to the time Williams stole Redick's juice box on the team bus to Wake Forest. [Thanks, Todd]...

The Seedy Underbelly Of Sports Fan Art
There's a popular game going around the Internet, in which you search your favorite team on DeviantArt, the premier fan-created art site. Some results are pathetic, some are decent, but most are sanity-threatening. Let's go through the looking glass....

Break Ireland's Heart Again, In Crappy Flash Form
Finally, it's the Thierry Henry Handball game. My high score so far is 47 goals, and 18 Irishmen drinking themselves to death. [Jeu De Main]...

Hell Hath No Fury Like A League Two Side Fan Scorned
A Grimsby Town FC supporter unleashes a foulmouthed rant of epic proportions at his hapless team. Brits have long said American sports fans lack passion, but now I just think they all have Tourette's. [No Spain No Gain]...

Chad Ochocinco Doesn't Want You Catching Any Venereal Diseases
Somewhat making good on a threat he made during the filming of HBO's Hard Knocks, Chad Ochocinco posted a mockup of what a package of Ocho Cinco Condoms might look like. Are they made out of pigskin? [Black Sports Online]...

Japanese Gaming Cards With Photoshopped NBA Players Are Disrespectful To Frowns
Can you see that I am serious? Really, I have no idea what the hell is going on here or how to explain it - all I know is that these photoshops are hilarious....

Sports Fella "Suspended" Over Angry Tweets, Not Allowed To Watch TV, Talk On Phone For Two Weeks
Bill Simmons was suspended for letting his 1, 010, 999 Twitter followers know how he feels about about certain WEEI talk show hosts, but he's still able to talk about his book tour. Rob King, WWL.com's courageous editor, offers explanation....

From The Desk Of George Bodenheimer: "Class, Dignity And Integrity"
Hey, look! It's another memo from ESPN President George Bodenheimer! And today he wants to tell his employees about all the exciting things his company is doing to slow its steady transformation into Connecticut's answer to Gomorrah....

Tim Lincecum Is High, Young Winner Again
The San Francisco Giants goofy-headed pitcher of countless "Dazed and Confused" jokes has won his second straight Cy Young award. Take that, Nancy Reagan. (Counterpoint from this morning.) [SFGate]...

This Is Why Anaheim Hockey Fans Can't Have Nice Things
Anaheim's Scott Niedermayer offered his stick to a fan after he won star of the game. Unfortunately, it sparked a melee between two gentlemen and a blond woman as a helpless Niedermayer looked on from the ice. [Puck Daddy/HTA.SanFillippo]...

Last Night's Winner: Tokers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Ricky Williams and Tim Lincecum, who yesterday inhaled deeply the vapors of success. And perhaps some other stuff, too....

Jayson Williams Saga May Finally Be Over
According to the AP, Jayson Williams (yes, that one) has accepted a plea deal that will send him to jail for at least 18 months for the accidental shooting of Costas Christofi in 2002....