im Page 812 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Wonder Which Deadspin Commenter This Guy Is
This video of an allegedly drunk guy trying to buy beer has been rapidly making its way around the tubes, but it's still worth a look-see....

Microwaving Poop Lands Canadian Football Players In Deep Doo-Doo
If there's one thing my grandfather told me that I have always held on to was when he said, "Don't put shit inside something you use to heat food that you intend to eat." But Gramps always got sayings wrong....

Dennis Rodman, In The Pink
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Little People Racing As Deserving An Olympic Sport As I've Seen
If beer commercials and 80s movies are to be believed, everything's bigger in Australia. Except the jockeys; they're little people. And the horses; they're regular size people....

Dittoheads Respond To Rush's Nixed NFL Bid With Sadness, Holocaust Poetry
"Tonight..." RedState's tsquare intones in a headline, "We Are All Rush Limbaugh." And then it gets so much better....

Former Penn State Player Suing School After Rape Charges Dropped
Two years ago, Penn State running back Austin Scott was arrested and kicked off the football team when he was accused of rape. Seven months later, the case was dropped, but not soon enough to save his NFL career. Oops!...

Mike Sims-Walker's Week 5 Status: Out-Nookie
Jacksonville wide receiver Mike Sims-Walker was deactivated for Sunday's game against Seattle, an absence that more deeply affected your fantasy league than the Jaguars, who lost 41-0. Why was he out? Why else? Coitus....

Report: Limbaugh Dumped From Potential Rams Ownership Group
According to Adam Schefter, the investment group looking to buy the St. Louis Rams has decided that Rush Limbaugh's money is not worth his baggage and they plan to drop him from their ranks....

So, Just How Is Bill Simmons’ 30 For 30 Project?
The Sports Fella, and the network he fights with and occasionally works for, have put a lot of time and effort into rolling out the new "30 for 30" documentary series. So how is it?...

Why Do Bears Hate Alaskan Sports Facilities?
For the second time this month, we've received shocking footage of a bloodthirsty sports bear laying waste to a major Alaskan city. Is it really necessary to level Fairbanks with a pickaxe to just pump up a crowd?...

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders. Part 87
New blue blood/great white hope, Ryan Leaf has finally kicked his silly vicodin addiction and is busy starting his life over (again) in "environmentally soothing" Vancouver, B.C. He says he's finally found the cause of his personal problems — football....

Florida Gymnast Lets Boyfriend Turn Her Apartment Into Weapons Cache
A University of Florida gymnast was arrested yesterday after police discovered "a safe, nine shotguns or rifles and two computers" in her apartment, all of which were stolen by her totally awesome boyfriend....

January Jones Seems Like A Fun Lady
And her Halloween outfit this year is downright inspired: Troy Polamalu. "I'll get the wig. Put on some bronzer. And I'll just cross myself all night," she says, mulling it over. "Or maybe I'll be Houshmandzadeh." [GQ via AnimalNY]...

Delighting In Rick Reilly®'s Massively Wrong Broncos Predictions
Reilly® has written many nasty things about "Boy Blunder" Josh McDaniels and the Broncos, presumably because the latter hired the former to replace his tandem-bike partner, Mike Shanahan. Now that Reilly's 4-12 prediction is a mathematical impossibility, let us revisit....

Staying Out Late, Sweating Make Anthony Kim A "Loose Cannon"
Anthony Kim was a key player in the U.S.'s President's Cup win this weekend, despite the fact that he didn't sleep much and doesn't really want to hang with Jim Fuyrk. The man is out of control!...

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Touching The Hem Of His Garment Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Great Moments In Ill-Considered Headlines
The Wall Street Journal commemorates the Red Sox sweep at the hands of the Angels with this doozy—"Boston Goes Down in a Fiery Crash." Wow, Nick Adenhart's memory was more inspiring than I thought. [WSJ]...

Revenge Of The Customized Jerseys
Our personalized jersey collection has become so popular and so big, we had to add another room. The closet is now a walk-in. (But we can do more. Keep sending them.)...

Tim Tebow Lives!
His headache is gone so the big guy will likely play tonight against LSU. Will he start or arrive by parachute in the fourth quarter for added chills? [Times-Union]...
