im Page 822 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sports Writer Turns To Pimping For Extra Cash
Things are tough these days for newspapers (don't say it) and their writers (don't say it), but if you must work a second job, please don't try "deriving income from prostitution," because that just causes more difficulties for you. (Don't....)...
Shy, Retiring Sort Shockingly Takes To Ustream
Chad Ocho Cinco's doing the Marbury thing on Ustream, minus the God and most of the crazy. At last check, he was wearing a robe, calling Lil Wayne on speakerphone and saying things like, "I'm the new ESPN, man." [Ustream]...
Heck Of A Career, Jim, But Can You DH Tomorrow?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Jim Johnson Passes Away At 68
I shouldn't be the one doing this post. A.J.'s the Eagles fan. I'm a Giants fan. But I've got absolutely no problems being the one to eulogize one of the most respected figures in the 21st century NFL....
Golfer Wins First LPGA Event, Honor Of Being Molested By Frenchmen
Congratulations to Evian Masters winner Ai Miyazato, whose reward is this unsettling photographic commentary on the French libido, golf's patriarchy, modern Orientalism and the staggering inability of women's golf to devise a trophy that doesn't seem vaguely cocklike....
Hey, Kirk Herbstreit's House Is On Fire!
Herbie let his local fire department burn down his home in exchange for a tax break, but the IRS wants the money anyway. He could sell his house to pay the bill if it hadn't just burned down! [Columbus Dispatch]...
The First Sideline Reporter: "All Of This Was Just Nonsense"
The sideline reporter was young and attractive and more or less an open appeal to the lower enthusiasms of sports fans. The year was 1974. Jim Lampley was here to tell America about mascots and homecoming queens....
Drew Bennett's Glorious Two-Day Run With The Ravens
On Friday, wide receiver Drew Bennett was healthy, rested and ready to play. So Baltimore gave him a one-year contract. Then he woke up on Sunday with a sore knee, so he retired. Didn't the Ravens call no takebacks?...
Swimsuit Still Has Major Rear Air Conditioning Problems
This poor Italian woman first suffered this indignity. Yesterday, U.S. swimmer Ricky Berens' suit also busted open in the back, revealing his backside to America. The Huffington Post even utilized its seldom used "ass cam" for the occasion. [KC.com]...
Reggie Bush Prepares For Training Camp By Losing Roughly 140 Lbs.
Good news today for all you ass fetishists (that is to say, men). Reggie Bush and saucy Armenian booty princess Kim Kardashian are officially busto....
Recruiting Information Wants To Be Free
It's hard to determine which end of the recruiting process is more corrupt. In one corner are the coaches who feed egos to drive theirs; in the other are the AAU type who extort high schoolers' phone numbers for cash....
Tigers Manager Bears Strong Resemblance To Average Tigers Fan
It would appear that Jim Leyland has a body double in Detroit, but then, any middle-aged, gray-haired dude with sunlasses, a Tigers hat and a mustache will probably end up looking like Jim Leyland. [Detroit 4 Lyfe]...
Swimming Records Made To Never Be Broken
Exotic fancypants swimsuits bestow ridiculous Aquaman-like qualities on anyone who wears one, which is why swimming officials have officially banned the suits—right after every record in the books is shattered beyond repair....
Chargers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Yankees And Patriots Are Selling Fake Jerseys
Okay, not the sports teams, but the more accurately described group — our soldiers — are being accused of buying fake memorabilia in Korea and reselling them....
Shaq Vs. The Secret Service
Shaquille O'Neal plans to meet the owner of the world's most famous White Sox jacket by walking up to his home's gated entrance, ringing the doorbell and asking if Barack Obama would like to sit on his lap. [Bog]...
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Miller Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Milwaukee Brewers' Miller Park....
Steve Spurrier Apologizes For Not Genuflecting To The Tebow
SEC coaches and journalists spent maybe six hours of the conference's three-day media tugjob fretting over the vicious bastard who didn't pick Tim Tebow as No. 1 Super QB of the year. All because Steve Spurrier can't read....
Spend Your Day Tracking Stephon Marbury's Eclecticism
As Skeets (SKEETS!) noted: This is unreal. [UStream]...